I'm a failure...
As a human
As a son
As a friend
As a boyfriend
As a student
Failure as everything.
I couldn't even protect things I want in my life.
I feel so left out even while being with others.
Im so unloved. Even destiny hate me it doesn't want that I feel love
When was born my grandparents didn't gave any time to my parents to be with and distance from then increased
Few year later I fell in an illnesses. My mother begged them to let me to doctor. But they didn't agree.
She fought with my father and took me with her and left.
Father also came following us. They continue looking for jobs everywhere.
Just to treat my illnesses. That made me feel more unloved.
Every time I was alone in home no one with me. The loneliness killed me from inside every day.
They always came home at night at time when I slept.
I was so lonely for 13 years. I felt so unloved I cursed at my life many times that why am I even living i should have died back later.
And when finally I recovered global pandemic started in 2 year.
Even after having Many friends I felt so left out
It became a habit for me to stay alone.
I thought if I start dating I could feel loved what is it like.
Then I meet a girl online but it was also useless in the strat everything was fine then she blocked me and left.
It doesn't affected me that much.
Because she never gave me the love I wanted from the strat.
Then I just left alone.
What's the point in trying when someone doesn't want me.
Few years passed I made many friends but it didn't feel like it.
I got more and more depressed it was so stressful it started turning into anger and being let on mother. Because of that I started hating my self more.
Im not good for anyone.
I can't do anything right
I can't even think of anything art Even though I loved drawing but I can only copy.
I'm at talentless failure.
And this time again I tried dating without telling anyone.
I thought it be same as last but I felt the love I wanted but destiny doesn't want me to be happy.
She also wanted to go because of her family
But I convinced her to stay with me for a limited time.
I'm a failure I can't even protect a girl I truly loved. Just because of some damn society.
She made me felt what living is really is.
I never hid anything from her.
She accepted me as I was but I can't be with her forever.
I'm just forcing her to be with me without her will.
It be better if a failure like me just die.
I'm a failure
Failure
Failure
Failure.