"Damn it! Why are these Tricolor Dango so expensive?!" Chen Luo couldn't help but curse aloud.
After a busy day, Chef Chen finally returned to the bar after nightfall.
After attending to customers, Chen Luo naturally turned to his own affairs.
Having just obtained the 3-Star recipe [Tricolor Dango] today, and having given all his Sweet Madames to Durandal, Chen Luo decided to use the bar's small kitchen to make some dango.
The bar's built-in kitchen had a special function—it could automatically prepare food. However, this method cost 0.2 Primogems per serving, twice as expensive as making it manually.
The same applied to mixing drinks.
Special items like the Tricolor Dango could be made for free, but the ingredient costs were exorbitant.
Moreover, there was a monthly limit of 30 skewers.
Unless Chen Luo gathered the ingredients himself.
Just the ingredients alone cost 5 Primogems!
Fucking expensive.
"But considering this thing can instantly heal injuries... I'll let it slide," Chen Luo sighed.
Even at 5 Primogems per skewer, Chen Luo had to buy them.
After all, he currently had no other means of restoring health, making the dango essential.
So despite the steep price, Chen Luo's body acted honestly—he made 10 skewers.
"Hey, A'Luo, what's this? Can I have one?" Venti, who had come to the bar early, pointed at the freshly made dango.
"These are Tricolor Dango. If you want some, I can make them for you, but not these," Chen Luo shook his head.
With the kitchen's enhancement, Chen Luo could naturally make dango, but not all dango were equal.
This stuff cost 5 Primogems per skewer—who could afford that?
Though it was said these dango were dozens of times more delicious than even the most expertly made ordinary ones.
"Huh? Why not?" The more Chen Luo refused, the more Venti wanted to try.
"Because this type of dango is crazy expensive," Chen Luo complained.
5 Primogems each—even I can't afford to eat them.
"Oh? How expensive?"
"Fifty times more than your usual drinks."
Venti's ordinary wine cost 0.1 Primogems, while one dango cost 5 Primogems—fifty times wasn't wrong.
"Wow, why's this stuff so pricey?"
"Because it's not only the most delicious food in the world, but also instantly restores health. Scary, huh?"
"The most delicious food in the world? Then I must try it!" Venti's eyes sparkled instantly.
"You..."
[Ding! New commission received!]
"Fine." Seeing the 20-Primogem commission, Chen Luo nodded.
Though the profit margin was smaller than alcohol, it was still profit.
Chen Luo took out two dango skewers from his inventory—one for Venti, one for himself.
Might as well take advantage of Venti's request to taste this so-called world-class delicacy.
"Delicious!"
"Delicious!"
Chen Luo and Venti spoke in unison.
Worthy of its 5-Primogem price tag, aside from the warm healing energy that cleared all hunger, the food itself was extraordinarily tasty.
While not quite matching "mother's cooking," it wasn't far off.
"Venti, interested in trying a 4-Star recipe?" Chen Luo asked excitedly.
"4-Star recipe? What's that?" Venti paused mid-bite.
"What you just ate was a 3-Star recipe. What I'm making next is 4-Star. Want to try?" Chen Luo asked eagerly.
"I'm in!" Venti raised his hand again.
Joking aside, if 3-Star was this good, how insanely delicious must 4-Star be?
[Ding! New commission received!]
"Great, wait here." Seeing another 20-Primogem commission, Chen Luo nodded.
The 3-Star dango cost 5 Primogems, but the 4-Star [Judgment Time] only required 0.1 Primogem—it used ordinary ingredients.
This dish earned its 4-Star rating purely through effort—specifically, the effort of being disgustingly bad.
As described, the deceased would find it delicious, while living beings who ate it would find it lethally awful.
Not that Chen Luo planned to murder Venti for his Gnosis—inside the bar, the dish would only taste terrible without being harmful.
But try eating it outside...
Since this 4-Star dish was dirt cheap using common ingredients, Chen Luo didn't mind experimenting.
Just 0.1 Primogems for some fun.
"??? A'Luo, you're sure this is a 4-Star?" Venti's pupils shrank at the indescribable monstrosity before him.
"Yep, genuine 4-Star. Why would I lie? Just try it—I wouldn't hurt you," Chen Luo said.
If Venti refused, those 20 Primogems wouldn't materialize.
"Tell you what—take one bite, just one, and I'll throw in a bottle of wine brewed from the Geo Archon. Deal?" Chen Luo bargained.
Losing 5 Primogems on the wine hurt, but losing 20 Primogems from an unfinished commission hurt worse. Simple math.
Besides, no one could die or even get hurt inside the bar—just some temporary suffering.
No big deal.
How bad could it taste?
"Really?" Venti eyed him suspiciously.
"Absolutely. Why would I lie?" Chen Luo nodded vigorously, producing a bottle of Void Wine and placing it nearby.
"One bite of this dish, and it's yours."
"Fine! Just one bite!" The sight of Void Wine stirred something in Venti. Seizing the chopsticks, he picked up an unidentifiable chunk and popped it in his mouth.
Joke's on you—I'm the Anemo Archon! No mortal food can defeat me!
Thud! Venti's face planted into the abominable dish.
"...Wait, seriously? Venti, you couldn't handle one bite? Is it that bad?"
Though the 20 Primogems registered, Chen Luo was dumbfounded by Venti's instant knockout.
The bar's safety protocols were active—no one should get hurt here!
Ding-a-ling!
The door chime rang. Entering, Theresa took one look at Venti's apparent murder scene and instinctively stepped back.
"Theresa, let me explain..."
"How is this possible? You're telling me Venti collapsed just from tasting your cooking? Who would believe that?" Despite her skepticism, Theresa still listened to Chen Luo's explanation out of trust.
"Want to try it yourself?"
"Try it? Fine, I will!"
Thud!
"...What kind of bar is this? A murder scene?" Watching Theresa collapse too, Chen Luo finally grasped just how terrifying [Judgment Time] truly was.
Yet Chen Luo still couldn't fathom—how bad could one dish possibly taste?
But seeing these results, he dared not try it himself.
Ding-a-ling!
"Auntie..." Kiana pushed the door open.
Thud!
"..." Chen Luo fell into complete silence.
"Kiana Idiotka, sneaking out early just to hog food..."
Thud!
"Kiana, Bronya, you two..."
Thud!
"Benefactor, I've arrived..."
Thud!
"Exterminating monsters is exhausting... Wait, what happened to them?"
Thud!
"...Hold on, if you all pass out, where am I supposed to farm rewards?" Chen Luo suddenly realized a critical issue.
It took considerable effort for Chen Luo to clear away all the [Judgment Time] dishes from beneath everyone's faces.
He stood dumbfounded for ten whole minutes, even taking the opportunity to deliver a Tricolor Dango and dinner to Durandal. By the time he returned, the others were gradually regaining consciousness.
Durandal had recovered remarkably well—well enough to punch Chen Luo's head off had he not dodged in time, though her strike still grazed his abdomen.
According to the Herrscher of Sentience, Durandal had held back 90% of her strength. Her punch was purely for venting anger, not lethal intent.
"Venti, are you okay now?" Chen Luo asked with concern.
As his first customer, Venti held irreplaceable importance and was also the bar's most frequent patron.
"What... happened just now?" Venti clutched his aching head.
"Nothing happened," Chen Luo reassured him.
Chen Luo now avoided triggering anyone's traumatic memories, fearing further incidents.
Since Venti had been the first to eat and possessed unique physiology, he was also the first to wake.
The others gradually regained consciousness over the next ten minutes, transforming the bar from crime scene back to lively establishment.
Ding-a-ling!
As the bar regained its bustle, the door chime rang again.
This time, a new customer entered.
"Do you have any food here?" A beautiful girl with pink shoulder-length curls and matching eyes burst into Chen Luo's Midnight Bar.
"Lady Yuyuko, don't run off like that!" a clear voice called from behind.
"Of course. This is a bar, but it also serves food. What would you like?" Chen Luo's pupils flickered at the strangely familiar figure.
Wasn't this that character from Touhou who got "canceled" from anime circles?[1]
The shattered keyboards under sunset hues represented Chen Luo's lost youth.
"Anything is fine, as long as it's delicious. But I need enough to feel full." The pink-haired girl tapped her lips thoughtfully before answering.
[Hungry Hungry Feed Me]: Simple desire for satiation
Reward: 200 Primogems + Random bonus
Difficulty: 2-star
"As expected of you. Wait here—I'll prepare it immediately."
Chen Luo had sworn off making that damned [Judgment Time], but Saigyouji Yuyuko's appearance changed his mind.
While lethal to living humans, it was soul-stirring cuisine for spirits, demons, and eldritch beings.
"Lady Yuyuko! You can't just barge into some shady bar like this!" A white-haired girl carrying dual swords entered, a floating white mochi accompanying her.
"Oh? What's the problem? That banquet earlier left me completely unsatisfied. Besides, the owner seems very kind and trustworthy, don't you think?" Yuyuko pointed at Chen Luo busily working in the kitchen.
"Well... that is indeed the case." Even Konpaku Youmu had to admit Chen Luo gave off a good feeling.
Soon, Chen Luo emerged carrying an extra-large bowl of [Judgment Time].
Accounting for Yuyuko's appetite, he'd used maximum portion size.
When Chen Luo placed this indescribable pixelated horror on the counter, Venti—seated nearby—suddenly convulsed, smashing his glass.
Before comprehending why, his body had already retreated two steps on instinct. Eula reacted similarly.
"What... is that terrifying thing?" Though his memory was hazy, Venti's instincts recognized this as something utterly unholy.
"T-that... can people actually eat that?!" Youmu drew her sword at Chen Luo.
"It looks absolutely delicious..." Yuyuko behind her bit her thumb, gaze locked on the abomination.
"Lady Yuyuko, snap out of it! How could that... thing possibly be edible?!" Sheathing one sword, Youmu tugged Yuyuko's sleeve with her free hand.
The dish radiated such intense danger that Youmu's swordsman instincts were breakdancing in her skull.
As a half-human half-phantom, Youmu wouldn't die from eating it outside the bar—but wouldn't find it tasty either.
"No, my intuition says this is culinary perfection. Missing it would be my life's greatest regret." Drooling, Yuyuko lifted Youmu by the collar, tossed her aside, and pounced.
"Lady Yuyuko! NO—!"
...
"Burp...I'm full."
After finishing the entire bowl, Yuyuko slumped against her chair in unladylike satisfaction.
"W-what? FULL?!" Youmu stared in disbelief.
In all her years, "full" had never escaped Yuyuko's lips.
Especially after just one bowl.
[Ding! Mission complete. Primogem reward doubled]
Yuyuko and Chen Luo smiled identically beatific smiles.
"This was the right place! I'm coming back! Every single day!"
"I've decided—Yuyuko is my friend now! You must keep visiting!"
TL Note:
[1]: A joke where Touhou, despite being really popular, rarely gets an anime.