"Want some cockroach stacks?"
Audrey had just sat down when Dumbledore opened his little box of sweets, and two cockroaches crawled out.
Audrey rolled her eyes, gently pushing away Fawkes, who had landed on her shoulder seeking attention. With a flick of her finger, one cockroach flew straight into her mouth.
"Tastes okay… just a bit too sweet."
Petting the phoenix, she added, "At your age, eating this much sugar isn't good for you."
Dumbledore had been delighted—finally someone to share his cockroach stacks with. But Audrey's remark reminded him of Frank Mitchell, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor from five years ago. He had said the same thing… before breaking his neck going down the stairs… (does anyone even remember this guy?)
Shaking off the memory, Dumbledore addressed Audrey:
"Earlier, Kingsley mentioned the organization hydrus fangs . Have you heard of it before?"
Audrey's eyes widened. "I didn't set up any assassin organization! Don't falsely accuse an innocent person!"
Dumbledore chuckled. "I never said you created hydrus fangs ."
Audrey ground her teeth. "Who knows which unlucky soul is impersonating me!"
…
…
Some unlucky soul was currently hiding in a nest, furiously scolding their returning subordinates.
"She's just a Muggle-born witch! She hasn't even attended Hogwarts for a single day! How did you manage this?"
"Sir, we underestimated her. Her magic is extremely strong, and she seems to have used spells that make her vanish completely."
In the dim light of the basement, the leader of the Water Serpent's Fang slowly emerged, half of his face hidden behind a mask. "That must be an Apparition Charm, fools!"
"No, absolutely not," the subordinate explained. "An Apparition Charm leaves a faint shadow when moving. Astley is completely invisible."
The leader stepped fully into the darkness—it was none other than the long-missing Bode Gray.
"Stop making excuses. Do you know how important Audrey Astley is to us? Discovering the Guardians' vaults and seeking the secrets of ancient magic—everything depends on her!"
The subordinate lowered their head, silent. They had failed; there was nothing more to say.
Bode Gray scowled, glaring at the silent subordinate. If he had more reliable men, he would have eliminated this useless fool already.
…
…
"I know you didn't form the organization yourself," Dumbledore said. "You're too lazy for that."
Indeed, the old wizard was wise. After two months together, he knew Audrey well: a good kid, just exceedingly lazy.
"Don't think because we're familiar you can say anything! Believe it or not, I'll sue you for slander!"
Dumbledore laughed heartily. This child always made him smile.
"All right, Audrey," Dumbledore's tone turned serious, "the Water Serpent's Fang tried to kidnap you once. If they fail, they might try again—or even sneak into Hogwarts. Be extremely careful."
He popped another cockroach stack into his mouth with a crunch.
Audrey teased, "Isn't Hogwarts supposed to be the safest place?"
"Of course it's the safest," Dumbledore replied, "but don't be careless. There are still many undiscovered secrets and passages in Hogwarts, some even I don't know."
"So you called me here just to warn me?"
"Yes. Otherwise, why do you think I summoned you?"
Audrey clicked her tongue. "I thought you wanted to talk about Professor Quirinus Quirrell."
"You noticed something wrong with him?"
"Yes, the dark magic emanating from the back of his head is thicker than Snape's greasy hair."
"That's your Head of House," Dumbledore said, glancing at the Sorting Hat on the shelf. He sighed inwardly. "If he hears you say that, you won't like the consequences."
"No problem. If he tries to mess with me, I can always leave Hogwarts. Making a few million pounds each year isn't so bad, right?"
Dumbledore was left speechless. The old and the young just stared at each other.
…
"Let's not talk about that," Dumbledore broke the silence. "I hope you won't meddle in Quirrell's matters."
"Because of Harry?"
"Yes. I have my own plan."
Right, using the Philosopher's Stone as bait to trap Voldemort, while giving Mr. Potter some training.
"Dumbledore, is this your first day knowing me? Do I look like someone who seeks trouble?" Audrey fumed. "As long as no one provokes me, I don't care! Messing with people is exhausting, you know?"
"But I heard you pulled a prank on the Grey family two months ago. Now they're in chaos!"
Well… I could say it was just a detour…
…
…
The next morning, Momo woke Audrey.
"Master, time to get up!"
"Good morning, Momo," Audrey groaned, climbing out of bed with her eyes closed. "What classes do I have today?"
"Potions in the morning, Transfiguration in the afternoon."
"Right, can't be late for Professor Snape… gurgle gurgle…" Audrey spat out her mouthwash mid-sentence. Momo snapped her fingers, and the water vanished midair. "What's for breakfast?"
Momo handed Audrey a toothbrush with toothpaste and said, "I prepared youtiao, soy milk, and steamed buns with fresh shrimp filling."
Audrey opened her eyes. "As expected of you, Momo!"
Momo squinted happily. Praise from her Master was the best thing ever.
…
…
It was the first day of classes. All the students were up unusually early.
When Audrey arrived in the Great Hall, it was crowded and bustling. Her presence immediately drew attention—how could it not, with a flock of ghosts hovering beside her?
"Gentlemen ghosts, lady ghosts," Audrey groaned, "you're sticking to me, it's making me uncomfortable!"
She continued, "It's freezing, and your hovering only draws more people to stare at me!"
The Fat Friar asked with concern, "Audrey, are you cold? Don't worry, I can teach you a warming charm. It's simple—instant warmth guaranteed!"
This isn't about a warming charm… I already know that one!
Nearly Headless Nick said, "Afraid of being stared at? Don't worry, we'll block them for you."
Audrey felt like crying. "Why do I have some special trait that attracts all of you? I'll change! I'll change!"
Madam Grey hovered farthest from her. She said softly:
"You are like a source of magic, a pure one. We depend on Hogwarts' magical system to exist, but the school uses so much magic daily, barely any reaches us. Yet the magic emanating from you… we can fully absorb. Around you, we feel more alive… more… 'human.'"
Good grief. She had become a walking charging station for ghosts?
Sigh. The comfortably-serviced Audrey, who had left the Slytherin common room, sighed for the twelfth time that morning. Surrounded by these elderly apparitions, her lavish breakfast suddenly seemed unappetizing…