Morning in the forest was damp and greeted me with a thick fog spreading along the ground, hiding tree roots and preventing the sun from breaking through the dense haze. Everything around was quiet and peaceful, as if the forest had not yet woken up.
I didn't sleep at night. I may not be the wisest master on this mountain, however, despite all the naivety of the kung fu brethren from the Jade Palace, I wasn't going to turn my back on them. Fortunately, I don't require sleep, or rather, regular sleep, and simple meditation was enough to relax and put my thoughts in order.
Closer to dawn, I went down to my forced companions, who also didn't close their eyes. Exchanging a couple of phrases, they proceeded to breakfast, finishing the last supplies. At the same time, all this time they were casting some freaking strange glances at me. I'm not that good at understanding people myself, but it seemed to me that they were looking at me with... pity, or something?
Apparently, even the severe Kung Fu masters from the Furious Five pity the starving, heh.
Finally, when everyone finished their rations, Monkey stood up and came forward, then hesitated, scratched the back of his head, and issued:
"Um... senior brother Tai Lung..." Hearing these words, I almost choked on air. Here, not only real brothers or close friends are called this—masters also address other masters who are formally equal to them in status but surpass them in understanding of kung fu, experience, or skills this way. "Here's the thing... We would like to go ahead... If you don't mind, of course."
"Speed up?" I raise an eyebrow, watching Tigress extinguishing the coals from the fire.
"Well yes," he nodded, shifting his eyes. "You see, we must go ahead to... Um, prepare everything, there! Well, warn the residents so they don't panic at the sight of you, and Shifu... Calm him down..."
Yeah, picture perfect...
Well, as far as I understand, the gentlemen masters are going to conduct an evacuation of civilians. It seems this is exactly what they did in the cartoon, leaving with them. However, I don't mind—the Five themselves don't interfere, and residents don't get underfoot, so this will all be a plus for me too. Only I don't like secrecy.
"Want to take civilians to a safer place?" I asked directly.
Wu Kong blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting such a question from me, or not expecting their idea to be revealed so easily, but immediately nodded, smiling:
"Yes! Exactly! Specifically civilians! Evacuation, safety, all that... Well, you understand."
"I understand," I waved my hand, as if releasing them. "The idea is sound, so run. I'll give you a head start of an hour or two, just don't drag it out."
The frowning faces of the Furious Five members brightened from what they heard, after which they all... bowed to me and broke into a run.
Alright, I'll assume that I am so handsome, charming, and eloquent that they managed to become imbued with sincere respect for me, rather than behaving so that I don't snap... Although I didn't snap at the bandits, so why would they play goody-two-shoes?..
Fine, to hell with them.
Stretching and warming up after being left alone, I stood a little, enjoying the fresh air, then set off. I'll go around by one path leading into the mountains, it will be a bit longer, and I can indulge in nostalgia on the way.
When a couple of minutes later I stepped onto a slightly overgrown path, that's what happened. Every step echoed in memory, helped by the now receding fog and the gray sky hinting at an imminent thunderstorm.
Here's this turn... Once I slipped here during the rain, and Shifu grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, then carried me home. And that rock over there... Remember how we sat on it and watched the sunset after training. My whole body ached from tension then, and my stomach rumbled from hunger, but I continued to train no matter what, and he said then that he was proud of my persistence...
Yes, earlier I returned home along this path, but now... Can the Jade Palace be called my home after everything that happened?
So I walked, immersing myself in memories and feeling more and more like Tai Lung specifically, and not just a squatter who seized a body, as if it had always been this way... Until voices and an unpleasant creak of wood were heard from around the bend. My ear twitched irritably. Never liked creaking sounds, even didn't want to go to the blackboard not because of shyness or lack of knowledge of the material, but because I would have to run chalk over the board... Brrr...
"Push harder, ham!" a squeaky male voice.
"I am pushing! Told you to take another way, the wheel got stuck here!" a bass answer.
Turning and stepping onto the road, I saw the following picture: two men were bustling around a small cart-tachanka. One—a fat pig (he didn't look like a boar) in work clothes, the other—a fussy goose in glasses. Not a surprising company, by the way—in the settlement near the Jade Palace live mainly people with pig, goose, and hare bloodlines. They were trying to lift the edge of the cart loaded with something quite heavy. They didn't think to unload the contents, so their attempts ended in failure.
I could have walked past, bypassed them on the roadside, but... I am a Kung Fu master, and here people like me are something like superheroes from American comics: we get a cat off a tree, protect from bandits, and help in such situations. And, I admit, I liked helping others, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this and wouldn't strive to become the Dragon Warrior—almost the main "helper" in China among Kung Fu masters.
So I approached the cart and stared at the frozen merchants (apparently), who simply couldn't help but notice me. My appearance—a powerful figure, a predator's gaze, and only pants on a naked body—clearly didn't predispose to small talk.
"S-sorry, sir, we'll move it right now..." babbled the goose.
But I didn't listen to them, just walked up to the cart, squatted, and, bracing my shoulder against the bottom, straightened my legs. The cart, weighing surprisingly much despite its modest dimensions, soared into the air.
"Let's go," I grumbled, nodding my head forward. "I'll carry it."
Could have lifted with one hand, the cart weighs no more than half a ton, but not sure if the bottom or edges would withstand such pressure, so I'll carry it on my shoulder. Though the merchants still can't come to their senses—staring at me with open mouths.
"Why are you frozen?" I roared without malice, involuntarily smiling. "Or should I stand here all day?"
"Ah, yes! Yes, of course! Thank you, master sir!" the pig came to his senses and, pushing his comrade in the side, went forward.
"Listen," I began when we picked up the pace and they stopped casting suspicious glances at me every couple of seconds. "I'm from afar, what's heard in the Valley? What news?"
The goose, scuttling nearby, willingly entered the conversation; apparently, he loved to gossip.
"Oh, plenty of news! The main one straight from the Jade Palace! You probably heard? Master Oogway finally chose the Dragon Warrior!"
"Really?" I feigned surprise. "So these aren't just silly rumors? And who is this great hero? Master Tigress? Or maybe someone from the capital masters?"
"If only!" grunted the pig, sighing. "It's Po!"
"Po?"
"It's a panda," explained the goose. "He is Mr. Ping's son. A sensible guy, but very... clumsy. Imagine my surprise when he fell from the sky right in front of Master Oogway! Can you imagine?"
"A panda?" I asked again just to maintain the topic. "But how is that possible if he is 'clumsy'? Is he a Kung Fu master?"
"What master!" laughed the goose. "He... Well, basically, a simple guy working for his father as a waiter. When it happened, everyone was in shock, and even now it's hard to believe, honestly. They say Oogway just made a mistake... Or joked like that, after all, even for such a great master as him, old age is no joke..."
I couldn't stand it and laughed, and then... suddenly became serious.
Wait a minute...
In the cartoon, Po tied a bunch of fireworks to a chair and, flying up on them, survived a burn of incredible force that burned the wooden chair, after which he fell from a huge height and survived. And if for a cartoon this is normal, then... How the hell did this happen here, in reality, where laws of physics always exist, and not only when scriptwriters need it?
After another ten minutes of travel, we reached the outskirts of the town, where I carefully lowered the cart near some warehouse, where loaders bustled at the sight of us.
"Thank you so much!"
"Huge thanks!"
Both merchants bowed low to me.
"Selfless help is rare in our time!" said the goose. "Good luck to you, traveler! With such strength, your road leads straight to the Jade Palace; I'm sure they'll take you as a student!"
I smiled crookedly at the irony.
"Perhaps I will do just that. Farewell."
Waving goodbye to them, I turned around and entered the town itself and... frowned uncomprehendingly.
Life was boiling around, shops were working properly, children were running with kites and playing "Kung Fu," taking "cool" stances in front of each other, and the aroma of jasmine wafted from tea houses...
Neither panic nor evacuation, which should have been either in full swing or already finished, was there!
"What the hell?" I involuntarily whispered.
Did the Furious Five just run away? And abandon civilians? No, can't be, it's completely unlike them! They are too "righteous." Meaning... They are so confident that I won't do anything to ordinary citizens? But then why did they go ahead? Are they preparing a trap already in the Jade Palace? There, as far as I know, are a bunch of different artifacts that can help them in battle with me...
Not understanding what was happening, I just stopped in the middle of the street, looking at the towering Jade Palace in the distance.
A wild thought suddenly came to mind: what if I just turn around and leave now? So to speak, ride off into the sunset? Let them wait for me up there, prepare for battle, build barricades... And I just won't come! Ha, sounds genius, true, not at all in the style of the past Tai Lung, but the effect...
I chuckled, imagining Shifu's face, who waits for my arrival day after day, prepares for battle, and I'm still not there!
But...
However much I wanted to, the fixation on obtaining the title of "Dragon Warrior" won't let me sleep. I will get what is due to me, the gestalt must be closed, and I can't leave without even looking him in the eyes after everything.
The sky, as if responding to my thoughts and emotions, began to darken, a sharp wind blew, raising dust on the street, thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance.
Paying no attention to this, I walked forward, expecting a possible trap already here, but there was none, and I calmly came to the foot of the Thousand Steps. Not sure if there are really a thousand steps in this staircase, although knowing one old turtle, there is a probability that there are exactly a thousand, no more, no less.
Suddenly it began to rain, large cold drops hit the stones of the paved road and the steps leading to the Jade Palace.
Exhaling, I began the ascent.
Step by step, I walked up quickly, feeling amazing calmness, as if I were really returning home, and not going to fight my father, yeah...
The journey didn't last long, only about five minutes. At the top, open gates of the Palace and complete absence of danger met me, if my senses were to be believed. I went out onto a wide platform; the rain had gained strength during this time and poured incessantly, blurring the outlines of buildings.
In the center of the courtyard, under an old tree, stood only one lonely figure...
Shifu.
He stood calmly, straightening his back and looking at me with his unreadable gaze, however, even from here I saw how he changed during this time. Shifu never managed to awaken Chi in himself, however, thanks to secret practices, rare ingredients, and pills, he lived more than three hundred years, looking 40-50 at worst. But now he seemed... withered? His shoulders slumped, ears drooped, and he looked exhausted, as if these twenty years drank all juices out of him.
He still didn't look his age and close, however, it seems not only I felt crappy these twenty years...
Our eyes met.
And I took a step forward, stepping on the wet slabs of the courtyard.
"Long time no see, Master..."
POV Po Ping
"Guys, are you serious?" I groaned, looking at the Furious Five, who burst into my father's kitchen through the back door, wet from the fog, out of breath and with eyes five liang (currency ingot) each!
"Absolutely," Monkey declared firmly, shoving an apron into my hands. "We don't have time for explanations! Tai Lung will be here soon and if you don't prepare your best noodles, he will tear the whole Palace apart brick by brick, and then start on us."
"But... How will my noodles help here?!" I genuinely didn't understand what was happening at all. I perfectly know the strength of the legend of modern Kung Fu, as well as his character... Well, more precisely what is written about him... I am obliged to fight him and protect the Valley of Peace! The Master prepared me for this, and even if I am not confident in my abilities, I cannot give up either, and they want me to... feed him?!
"Po," Tigress stepped toward me, putting a hand on my shoulder, looking like she swallowed something very sour, but her voice was serious as never before. "We tried fighting him and lost... He is... Strong. Listen, we believe that you really became much stronger during this time, but you just don't understand what the difference between you is..."
"The only option is to feed him." Viper intervened, looking out the window. "He wants to eat."
"He wants to eat?!" I squealed. "How can you say that? He will definitely take revenge! Or do you think that after eating my noodles he will suddenly decide not to destroy everything around? What if he doesn't like it? Or he finds out that I became the Dragon Warrior? He will definitely try to kill me!"
"He won't try," Viper tried to calm me down, sighing. "We will be nearby and won't let you be hurt, just... do it—prepare the best noodles you can! Right, maybe ask your father for the secret ingredient? You mentioned it when you fed us last time..."
I gulped, remembering what happened yesterday—how Master Shifu said the guys should have returned already, and since they aren't here, Tai Lung most likely killed them, how we got the Dragon Scroll which had nothing in it, the horror after realizing this and those words of my father that "there is no secret ingredient," which returned confidence to me...
My dream since childhood—to fight alongside the Furious Five!
Well, or at least see them live and get autographs, and now they are standing in my kitchen (okay, in father's kitchen) and asking me to save them, the Jade Palace, and the entire Valley of Peace... by cooking noodles...
It was madness, complete nonsense, but... if they believe it will work...
I took a deep breath, tying the apron, preparing to give it my all—when it comes to cooking, I become serious!
"Alright," I say, grabbing a knife and a bunch of green onions. "But, just in case—I'm counting on you!"
The Five exchanged glances with obvious relief.
"Can we help with anything?" Crane inquired, taking off his hat.
"Water!" I commanded. "Monkey, cut vegetables! Tigress, I need a stronger fire! Mantis, spices!"
The best Kung Fu masters in all of China nodded, began to carry out my instructions, giving their all...
If someone told me about this a month ago, I would have laughed in his face, but now... now the fate of the Valley depended on my noodles!
Well then, Tai Lung, get ready! For you haven't yet tasted real culinary Kung Fu from the great and terrible Dragon Warrior named Po!