Today is shopping day with Vermouth.
Rather than having purchases delivered to her home like a typical celebrity, she prefers going incognito to scrutinize the merchandise at Beika Department Store herself. Vermouth seems to enjoy mingling with the common crowd and admiring the vast arrays of colorful clothing, indifferent to whether the items are bargain-bin finds or luxury goods.
My role today is to escort her to the fitting rooms and offer the expected admiration for whatever glamorous outfit she reveals.
Vermouth, having changed into her next ensemble, gestured for me to approach with a flick of her hands, as if calling a cat.
"Come here, Bourbon."
"Of course. I am at your command."
After ruffling my hair as if patting a large dog, Vermouth thrust a charcoal gray suit toward me.
"This suit would truly suit you. And this one... it's not bad, is it?"
"...The fabric is too stiff; it would hinder sudden movement. I wouldn't be able to protect you from danger while wearing that."
"You say the most charming things. No matter; beauty is sometimes a shield that nothing else can replace."
Having said that, Vermouth let out a soft laugh and lightly toyed with my chin.
"But I'll pass on it this time. It wouldn't do to stifle my sweet "Kitty" too much."
A vein of irritation throbbed on Furuya's forehead within me. Calm down, Mr. Protagonist. Keep your cool.
Despite everything, Vermouth is showing me the utmost favor. Is that not cause for gratitude?
A week has passed since that cursed express bus incident. We came to Beika Department Store because Vermouth had promised me this trip as a reward for protecting "Cool Guy."
In truth, I had informed Vermouth some time ago that I had become Detective Mouri's apprentice. Consequently, she requested that I
"protect the Angel as much as possible."
After Conan's encounter with her, she sent an additional directive:
"Look after the Cool Guy as well."
Since I kept my word this time, her fondness for "Kitty"—already high to begin with—grew even stronger. From my perspective, I had simply protected the protagonist and his friends. Naturally, Vermouth remained oblivious to such motives. Thus, pampered like a kitten by that beauty, I became a mere mannequin for her shopping spree—all under the guise of a "reward."
Furuya, for his part, nearly lost his mind at being treated like a "pussycat," yet he held his ground. A man of excessive pride and foul temper erupted within me, screaming,
"That old hag!!!"
I had to retreat quietly into a corner of my own psyche to avoid the fallout.
Honestly, Zero Furuya, why the unbridled rage?
I put on the sleek black casual suit she had picked out. Vermouth nodded several times, looking thoroughly satisfied. She took my hand, smiling with the grace of a flower in full bloom:
"So, Kitty, what do you think of our "Cool Guy"?"
"Despite his sharp wit, I found him remarkably straightforward and pure. Usually, people's ideals warp once the mundanity of life begins to stain them."
I spoke from the heart. The most brilliant minds often break or twist when they grasp the truth, yet he pursues it with a sincerity that verges on the idiotic. He is stubborn, yet he possesses the unwavering directness of a beam of light.
Inside, Furuya narrowed his eyes. It was the gaze of a Public Security officer, coldly and dispassionately assessing a subject.
─── We might find ourselves at odds with him eventually.
─── Yes. Justice is like a rainbow—vibrant in its seven colors, yet without actual substance. Fundamentally, we are incompatible with someone who seeks a single, absolute truth.
Undoubtedly, we will never see eye to eye. And yet, that is exactly why.
"That is why his character is so dazzling. To those of us submerged in darkness, his brilliance shines like the most blinding light."
"True. I see it as well."
─── I don't care about that! Tell this woman to stop treating me like a kitten! What a foul-smelling hag—she's like a rotten apple!
─── That's just plain verbal abuse, Zero. Regardless, it's a sign of her favor, and doesn't that serve our interests?
─── I won't forgive anyone for treating me like a child or underestimating me.
You really are something, Mr. Furuya...
Hesitantly, I decided to speak my mind to Vermouth, just to see if it would work.
"Vermouth, could we please stop calling me "Kitty"?"
"Oh, why?"
"I am nearly twenty-nine years old; being called "Kitty" is simply crossing the line."
"But you look so charming when you talk to "Angel," as if the two of you were high school students! Oh, by the way, did you ever actually attend high school?"
I searched my memory for an answer to Vermouth's question. I felt certain that Amuro Tooru's background did not include a high school setting. Furthermore, I had never attended one in this world either. After a moment's thought, I decided to answer her truthfully.
"Come to think of it, I never did. Though I do envy it for being a place of beautiful youthful memories."
I imagined rowdy school trips spent with a sweetheart and the like. Even if such trips in this world often came with a side of "murder," they were fundamentally not so bad. After all, this world was built on nothing but suspense and romantic comedy; the god of this world had decided that personally.
"Hmm,"
Vermouth hummed, her expression clouding with an ominous hint.
Wait a second. She wouldn't...
"Right then, why don't you try enrolling yourself?"
I knew it! My face stiffened as if I had just chewed a bitter insect. Inside, Furuya—who had reached the peak of his fury—began a "Metal Claw" grip while wordlessly flipping her off. Calm down.
"...I've gathered where this is going, but I absolutely refuse the idea of being thrown into high school."
"Why not? You would enjoy it too. Wouldn't that be killing two birds with one stone?"
"Please, spare me from infiltrating a high school as a student! Committing such a crime would wound my honor beyond repair!"
"What a shame."
─── Tell this woman to stop pushing it. Enough is enough.
─── I understand how you feel, but stay calm. Vermouth is being serious; she means this as a kindness.
─── That only makes it worse! Damn her!!!
Right at that moment, a criminal announcement blared through the store's speakers:
"We have occupied this department store."
Absolutely ridiculous. This is exactly why nothing good ever comes out of Beika.