Ahh~, he wanted even more—not just to pause in the present and carefully savor it, reminiscing about the beautiful past, but even the unknown future, he wanted that too!
He had experienced what it felt like to be plundered, and precisely because he cherished this sense of security, he was all the more determined to protect it.
"This is my true nature—ease!"
Raize shouted this deep within his heart.
Retreat was impossible. He had tens of thousands of paths he could choose, but there was only one thing he did not have—a way back.
Because once he put down the blade, he would no longer be able to protect what was beautiful!
"As for the remaining pride, you don't need to spell it out, because even you yourself possess it. To put it more nicely, this is the confidence that both you and I share!!"
Morningstar: I will save everything in the world and cleanse all filth!
Raize: I will rewrite everything in the world and annihilate all filth!
This is [me]—the domineering confidence of one who stands above all!
[Sloth analyzed]
[Pride analyzed]
Sloth corresponds to ease; arrogance corresponds to confidence.
You can deny evil, but can you deny this pure, genuine goodness?
You have your nobility; I have my true nature!
This is me—Raize!
A beautiful answer. Full marks...
That supremely noble and arrogant Morningstar, the Sorrowful Heaven of the Morning Star, after Raize's clear-minded, unwavering response, very straightforwardly became a part of Raize.
The influence on his subconscious completely dissipated as well, and Raize also received the techniques and principles contained within that law.
Perhaps Raize did not possess the nobility of the Morningstar, but this purity itself could not be denied.
What belonged to him—even if ugly—could not be purified.
Perfect things are nothing but trash, because they can never advance even an inch further.
It is precisely because I myself am imperfect that this emptiness will drive me to keep moving forward.
Having understood this true Atziluth meaning, I acknowledge it and accept it!
The radiant, dawn-like light of the Morningstar's Sorrowful Heaven of the Morning Star also became no longer blinding within Raize's consciousness. Its sacred form could now be perceived and wielded by him.
This Law, aimed at sin, was exactly like this—holding an extraordinary sterilizing effect against all evil.
To avoid being influenced, one must possess variables that exist outside of this perfectly ordered mechanical calculation.
Buzz—
The primordial sacred radiance within his body began to automatically approach the light of the Sorrowful Heaven of the Morning Star, but halfway there it stopped, then drifted toward another gentle, benevolent light.
Yet it stopped again halfway. It seemed to be drawn to and resonating with both powers.
"Oh my, looks like the sacred radiance unexpectedly resonates with both of these Laws."
Although he spoke with apparent curiosity, when Raize sank into his heart to carefully sense that third Law, an unmistakable resistance—neither joy nor happiness—surfaced on his face.
Sinking into his consciousness to feel that blessing and love bestowed upon all living things, Raize felt astonishment, followed by inexplicable resistance.
Though it was a comforting, non-threatening fluctuation—warm and gentle.
This law, known as Twilight Reincarnation, had no offensiveness or aggressiveness, nor did it radiate that arrogant demand for submission.
Upon closer sensing, there was only comfortable tranquility.
Filled entirely with benevolence, as if longing to embrace all beings!
Beautiful, sacred, and emotional!
This Law seemed to gently bless Raize:
"Attain happiness. Attain happiness. It's all right—I will embrace you. You will surely pull yourself together. Do not turn a blind eye to the future."
No matter how unreasonable or painful your life has been, one day, happiness will surely arrive!
This Law, filled completely with love, was extraordinarily beautiful, profound, and noble, dreamlike and illusory!
Just like a gentle mother, overflowing with compassion.
No matter how tough and domineering a man might be, there is always a soft place in his heart. The maternal nature within this Law was something even Reinhard, the battle maniac of the Dies Irae, acknowledged, revealing a smile of approval.
If… if Raize had not previously achieved clarity of mind and true self-realization, he would certainly have liked this Law very much...
"…A gentle Law. I don't dislike you, but I can't fully accept you, because I am a selfish person..."
The noble sanctity of the Sorrowful Heaven of the Morning Star ignited within Raize's eyes as he resisted the subconscious influence of the compassion of reincarnation and rebirth.
Yet upon feeling that benevolence, tears uncontrollably streamed from his otherwise cold, emotionless eyes, no matter how hard he tried to stop them.
The compassion within this Law was far too dazzling—yet not blinding at all, because it represented the ultimate form of inclusiveness.
But it was also far too unfair. This love was simply too difficult to reject.
And yet, the contradictory, ferocious depths of Raize's heart were rebelling. The yearning buried deep inside him was resisting, roaring and howling!
I don't need this kind of equal, indiscriminate love. What I want is only love that belongs to me—unique and irreplaceable!!
This was why he called himself selfish. Raize's heart strongly rejected such love; that twisted possessiveness did not want what belonged to him to be shared with others.
For example—
Raize had now confirmed that he liked Eu, and he felt an intense desire to protect and possess her.
If Eu showed Raize a sincere smile and treated him with kindness and gentleness, he would be extremely happy and fond of it.
But if Eu showed that same smile to others and treated them gently as well, to be honest, Raize would feel jealous.
As someone who liked Eu, he would not do or say anything to her—but others might.
He himself was like someone curled up, trembling in a world full of mud, filth, and countless wounds, clutching his own shaking self, guarding the only warmth in the surrounding darkness with unfocused eyes.
Weapons were piled around him. He had armed himself to the teeth, constantly vigilant against scum who might snatch away his warmth from the darkness.
Even toward those who posed no threat, Raize would never share his warmth.
Whether enemies or harmless trash, all of you—get lost! Don't come near me! I won't share it with you!
This is all I have. No one is allowed to take even a shred of it away from me!
At its core, Raize's heart was quite similar to that of a foolish child—afraid of loneliness, yet also afraid that the love belonging to him would be taken away.
After all, children are extreme, willful embodiments of innocent evil.
And in that shattered, dark world, clutching the longing for his sole warmth, when faced with that kind of indiscriminate love shining equally upon all beings, illuminating his broken dark world—
Though there was a moment of temptation, accepting this compassionate light required a price: he would have to share that warmth with others.
That price instantly made Raize's "yearning" grow violent. The attraction toward that compassionate light vanished, replaced by discomfort and aversion deep within him.
Share it with others? Don't joke with me. Why should I give it indiscriminately to others!?
If they're tolerable, maybe I can endure it—but you want me to share it with scum as disgusting as excrement!?
No! Get away! Don't touch me! I don't need you!!
If the light can't belong only to me, then I'd rather not have it!!
And you still want me to share precious love with scum—you must be dreaming!!
Thus, the "yearning" that belonged to Raize clicked its tongue in disdain and disgust, tightly hugging the sole warmth that belonged to him. Even if it was not as dazzling as that other light, what he held in his arms unquestionably belonged to him.
Why Raize felt aversion and resistance toward this love was now perfectly clear.
Unlike the first two Laws, this one was not domineering. If Raize wanted to fuse with it, he only needed to open his heart—no trials were required.
This Law's capacity for inclusion was outrageously high, and concepts like expulsion or rejection did not exist for it at all.
This gentle Law even actively wanted to embrace him and merge with him.
It was Raize himself who was resisting.
So now, the situation between him and this law was rather laughable.
A foolish child locked inside a shattered little dark room leaned against his small campfire, gazing at the beautiful flower in his potted plant, peacefully enjoying this unique warmth and wanting to protect that beauty.
He didn't want anyone to interfere—maintaining the status quo and slowly changing was fine, remaining withdrawn like this was fine, this was enough...
Outside the broken little dark room, a gentle, loving mother patiently coaxed her child to come out. By her side there would be no cold or darkness. She would still love him, and would bestow this light upon the child without asking for anything in return.
But this love had to be shared with others he detested; it could not belong solely to him.
Hearing the gentle words outside the house, the foolish child cast an impatient glance at the deadly weapons beside him.
Don't misunderstand—this wasn't aimed at that gentle mother.
From time to time he would waver because of her tenderness, but once he thought about how that love would also be given to scum as disgusting as excrement, the revulsion and resistance in his heart simply would not fade.
"Although I understand the true meaning of Atziluth, there are some things I just can't accept!"
An irritable expression appeared on Raize's face as he raised his hand and scratched his head in frustration.
Seriously, why did he have to draw this Law? Even though it was gentle, Raize simply couldn't deceive his own heart.
Discomfort was discomfort. Resistance was resistance.
Just imagining himself showing benevolence and salvation to those revolting scum made Raize feel sick!
He couldn't be that altruistic. His heart couldn't contain that many people. Being able to show gentleness to Eu and the others was enough.
For people he didn't dislike, showing a little kindness occasionally was fine—but it absolutely could not be unlimited!
"Ahhh! How annoying!!"
The more he thought about it, the more irritable Raize became. After letting out an unhappy growl, he stood up and hurried out of the room.
In the living room, only Sei and Eu were present. Haruna and Asia were together somewhere in another dimension doing who knows what, so they hadn't appeared yet.
Raize's shadow clone was making breakfast. When Eu and Sei saw Raize's face full of irritability and impatience, both were somewhat surprised.
So early in the morning—what was going on?
[Aize, what's wrong...]
Before Eu could fully display her notebook, Raize had already stepped in front of her under her puzzled gaze.
"Eu, let me hug you."
Saying this in a willful manner, Raize directly sat down beside Eu and pulled the silver-haired girl into his arms, leaving her at a loss.
On the other side of the sofa, Sei, who had been playing games, saw this scene. The laziness in her eyes instantly vanished, replaced by a puffed-up, indignant glare aimed at Raize.
Raize no longer cared. He gently rested his nose against the top of Eu's head, lightly inhaling the enchanting fragrance between the girl's silver strands, and the agitation within his heart gradually calmed.
Ah~~, the love that belongs to me is right here in my arms. I don't need that equal love that can't belong solely to me.
Wanting me to share my gentleness with others is pure delusion!
[What are you suddenly doing? Let go already, this is embarrassing (≧▽≦)]
Seeing Sei's gaze, Eu raised her notebook above her head in front of Raize's eyes, shyly resisting.
Eu didn't dislike Raize's intimacy—after all, their fates were already bound—but could he at least consider her shy feelings?
Being intimate in front of others was something she still couldn't handle.
"You're not even trying to hide it anymore, are you, Aize!!"
Sei stared at the couple before her, grinding her teeth as she spoke softly with a forced smile.
Damn it! While I wasn't home, this necromancer actually stole my base. Although I managed to recover some ground, the reality was that I'd already fallen behind this necromancer.
Sei could feel it—in Raize's heart, this necromancer had already risen just a bit above her.
"Sorry, sorry. My mind was too chaotic and irritable. Thanks to Eu, I've calmed down."