And, as if reality itself had skipped a frame, Raize had turned around at some point.
Now the girl was holding him intimately. With one hand resting on her head, he offered another note with his other hand.
(...I think I sensed your sadness. Were you recalling past events, or worrying needlessly about me? Please give me just a little bit of confidence and trust)
(I don't wish for life to end with you here. 'Forever'—I know that's a nice-sounding but extravagant hope. I've always understood the principle that where there's a beginning, there's an end. But now that I've grown accustomed to having you here...)
Raize remembered his memories from before coming to this world. Although he had the real memories of a second, new life, there was still an unwillingness to let go of the past.
Only those dissatisfied with their lives would yearn for a new world, to start over, right?
In his previous life, he had tasted all its joys and sorrows—regrets and moments of tenderness, happiness and sadness, meetings and farewells.
All these intertwined elements composed the symphony called life. Even with its flaws, it remained Raize's precious past.
He would not allow himself to forget, nor could he ignore it, even though it had ended.
Now, with a completely new beginning and a wealth of precious experience, Raize was determined to kick aside all regrets and flaws in this new life.
He had already lost loved ones dear to him before. Now, he didn't want the familiar presences before him to leave either.
Raize could accept Eu leaving voluntarily, without any interference from him. Even if it would be hard to let go, he wouldn't forcefully keep her.
But he absolutely would not allow certain damned external factors—those adverse influences beyond his control.
For example, leaving because she feared bringing disaster upon him and hurting him, choosing to bear everything alone—he absolutely did not accept such things.
He did not accept the opening where all family was lost, so he strove to change that outcome.
He did not accept the state of being powerless, so he strove to become stronger, to pursue power.
He did not accept the departure of those he cared about, so he would spare no effort to keep them, to protect them.
I've been working hard to grow stronger. I've been trying my best to protect what little I have. So then, why would I let you leave me?
Loss. Growth is a continuous process of losing and regaining.
He could accept losing what he didn't care about. But someone as treasured as Eu—he didn't want to lose her.
After coming to this world, the first emotions he gained were anger and sorrow, which also formed the foundation of who Raize was now.
In this world, having lost his family, he felt no sense of belonging. Apart from revenge and becoming stronger, his hollow goals were simply being led by Nep down an unknown path.
He thought he could face the departure of these familiar people with indifference—Haruna, Asia, his friends like the Shirogane siblings, even elder figures like Shizuka-sensei.
Those who hadn't carved a unique imprint into his hollow heart would only become sighs of reminiscence when he looked back on the past.
The higher he, who could fly, soared, the smaller he appeared in the eyes of those who couldn't fly. The same was true for both sides; they would only grow further apart.
It would also make Raize, detached from the group, increasingly lonely, until he encountered another being who could fly in the boundless sky.
Maybe an enemy, maybe a friend.
Unsatisfied, lacking a sense of belonging, with nothing but the pursuit of power, until he grew numb.
If... it weren't for all of you...
This individual named Raize probably wouldn't be so indecisive, all for thier sakes, right?
As a cub, he lacked sharp claws to protect himself and lacked fierce fangs to plunder from others.
Raize's heart had only that small plot of land. Originally whole, that heart-land had once been ruthlessly plundered.
From that, anger was born. It occupied those ravaged, broken areas and used them as nourishment for the cub to transform into a beast of prey, now jealously guarding the few things he had left.
One of Raize's survival principles: those who want to plunder from me are fair game for me to plunder in return, without any right to complain.
What? They still resent and hate me?
Why? When they plunder others, aren't they prepared for the possibility of being plundered themselves?
Or are they simply accustomed to plundering, having never experienced being plundered?
That's fine. I can personally instruct you in the necessary harsh lessons of growth. As payment, let me devour you completely.
In Raize's heart, there was a holy sun and a noble moon. He had grown accustomed to these two different kinds of light shining upon him.
Because they were his treasures, they gave this mere beast of prey something called "love."
Although it felt strange at first, Raize knew these two by his side did not need to be plundered. Over time, he grew accustomed to their presence.
Until one day, the moonlight might leave him forever.
The beast, unable to bask in that light again, seemed to regain some of its former ferocity.
Anger descended once more. Last time, it was from being plundered. This time, it was anger at being unable to keep the "love" he had felt within his heart-land.
Raize despised that numb emptiness. He couldn't grow accustomed to the unreal feeling of reality.
Apart from tasting the merely thirst-quenching flavor of revenge and the fleeting, ungraspable sense of pleasure…
The sweetness and tenderness of love, and its lasting warmth, were more worthy of effort to preserve.
Yearning for this honey-like, gentle atmosphere, he wanted to protect it. Even knowing eternity was unattainable, he would not allow external factors to ravage this tenderness.
Because I want to savor every moment of this tenderness. No one is allowed to take it away.
I will sing praises of this love that belongs only to me. I want nothing else. He would destroy all unfavorable external factors, utterly and mercilessly annihilating them.
If you cannot become something that belongs to me, then do not cling to my side.
Those who persist and cling obstinately are nothing more than lowly, excrement-like existences.
Such eyesores have no place in this sweet, picturesque scene akin to a fairyland on earth.
His thoughts grew increasingly extreme, terrifying, and obsessive. A thick, viscous malice emanated from him, carefully kept away from the beauty before him.
But Raize's face still wore a gentle smile. He softly raised his hands, cradling Eu's exquisitely blushing face as if holding a treasure.
Under Eu's utterly shy and panicked gaze, the man before her—radiating a malice she could not perceive, along with tenderness and affection directed at her—once again proactively pressed his lips to the girl's moist, soft lips.
With a heart so complex and conflicted, Raize gazed closely into the girl's dazzling, captivating sapphire-blue eyes. He never grew tired of looking into Eu's eyes; they were truly beautiful gems.
After admiring the shyness and adorableness in her eyes for a moment, and as she, affected by Raize's initiative and passion, finally closed her eyes…
Holding her trembling, delicate form tightly in his arms, personally feeling this sincere tenderness that needed protection up close, the possessiveness in Raize's heart swelled even more.
You, precious and pure like a gem, have even less need for lowly, unsightly things as your backdrop. You only need me. Only I should be by your side.
I won't allow you to entertain the thought of leaving me because of such base scum.
Do you think I'm less than dirt?
Ah… I almost forgot. You're very kind, Eu-chan. Even walking alongside death hasn't erased that kindness that moves my heart, so you don't need to change.
As for those scums, leave it to me to handle. Even if I find it filthy too, as long as it allows me to continue basking in your light, it's fine. Therefore, those scum only needs to share the same fate.
Not a drop of blood left.
Not a single fragment remains.
What? If Eu found out, she'd be sad and might reject him?