Lian remembered his mother cooking in the past. Back then, he didn't pay much attention to the cooking process, so he almost forgot what spices needed to be prepared. He tried to recall them carefully, as if hunting for a memory.
Hunting and cooking have a deeper connection than just a sequence of activities. Hunting without cooking skills is merely futility... What is the point of obtaining something if we cannot process it into something useful? Yet cooking without hunting skills is equally hollow... No matter how sophisticated the skill, it's useless if we cannot provide the ingredients for it. Those two things are like determination and wisdom, action and understanding, strength and gentleness, completing each other, giving meaning to each other.
In the past, Lian laughed at that sentence. He considered it just an expression of old people who liked to give advice. But now, amidst the long journey and the wounds he had collected, Lian finally understood. Life is not just about obtaining, but also about understanding and maturing what is obtained. Many humans are capable of achieving something but unable to make it meaningful; many are skilled at giving form but never dare to reach for the source.
And in that belated awareness, Lian felt a bitterness that was hard to express: that hatred grows not only from defeat, but from the realization that he once underestimated something that is now the key to his life. That sometimes, humans seek hatred not because they need it, but because only through hatred can they understand the truth they once ignored. Lian finally understood... That understanding the world also means understanding its bitter side, and there is no bitterness sharper than regret that comes too late.
Lian took a long, deep breath, trying to control himself to forget, for a moment, about the Land of Memories and those sheep. He wanted to focus on taking care of his life and his sister for now. But, just like before, it was very difficult to forget. The memory of his family's massacre made his eyes water; he smiled bitterly and then slapped himself hard. The sound of the slap echoed in Harmonious Alba, causing birds within ten steps to fly away in a scatter.
Lian shook his head vigorously and walked to the riverbank, washing his face in the current to cool his body heat. He actually wanted to look for a plant that could give flavor to the meat that would otherwise taste bland.
Lian saw the reflection of his face in the calm river flow. The reflection wavered, shapeless; Lian didn't even know if it was his own face or not.
"If I'm not mistaken, Mother said the plant looked like grass but the color was much darker, almost like a mix of dark green and dark blue..." Lian recalled the characteristics of the plant his mother used to mention.
"But I don't know its name, and during my travels, I never found that plant. No, in my seventeen years of life, I never saw that plant except in the kitchen... I wonder where that plant grows? Surely, with its dark color, that plant would stand out against its surroundings which are mostly brown and green. It should be easy to find. But I've never even found it..."
Lian now felt conflicted. Should he look for that plant, or just cook the meat directly? He needed to make a choice. He had two options.
"If I look for that plant, it will be very troublesome because I have to carry Meilin and the game, not to mention if I don't find it, it's just a waste of energy and time. Maybe it's better if I just cook it directly. Even though it will taste bland, that's better than searching for a plant I don't even know if I can find." Lian glanced at Meilin; the sound of her rumbling stomach reached his ears. "And Meilin seems to be hungry already."
Lian then took the cleaned rabbit and cut it into smaller pieces. Once everything was done, Lian placed the meat pieces on the skin. He then searched for and gathered small twigs and fallen dry leaves.
With everything ready, only one problem remained... Fire. But no need to worry, Lian was an expert in that matter. He once made a huge fire with a pile of twigs and leaves; the fire soared high, even burning the bark of nearby trees.
Lian rubbed his hands together while looking at the pile of small twigs and leaves he had arranged.
Lian then sat down, picked up a straight stick, and grabbed a square-shaped piece of wood he found on the ground. He didn't know where it came from, but he could only think that maybe the wooden board was left by his father in the past. Lian's father often wandered looking for wood, and perhaps one of these boards fell when his father rested at this river. Could be... Right?
Before starting the fire, Lian scraped the surface of the wooden board with his knife, producing wood dust. He then rubbed the straight stick strongly against the board. Two minutes later, after Lian rubbed quickly and forcefully without stopping, the board finally turned black with orange sparks when blown. Lian quickly took some thin dry leaves and placed the blackened wood dust on them, blowing gently until a small flame appeared. Lian then placed those leaves onto the pile of twigs and leaves, and an orange fire was formed.
Lian then stood up and took two broad leaves from the surrounding plants. He wrapped the meat to be cooked with the broad leaves, and after securing it tightly, he placed it in the center of the embers.
He sat on the riverbank beside Meilin, who was staring either at the river or into the void. She really looked like a corpse or a doll, sitting silently with an unblinking gaze.
"Meilin, look! Brother has prepared the fire and is cooking. We just need to wait thirty to forty minutes." Lian looked toward where he had placed the meat in the embers.
"What, Meilin? It tastes bland?" Lian shifted his gaze to Meilin and brought his ear close to her lips. "Ah, yes, maybe it will indeed taste bland. Sigh, Brother couldn't find the plant Mother used to use for cooking... If you know where it is, tell Brother, and I'll immediately go get it to turn this bland meat into something delicious."
Waiting for five seconds, Lian just nodded and pulled his ear back. "Ah, what a pity. Turns out you don't know either. I wonder where that plant is."
Thirty-five minutes later. Lian, now sitting in front of the embers where he was cooking the meat, stirred the embers and blew on them so they wouldn't go out. He then cleared away all the embers covering the meat, picked it up using a thick stick, and brought it before Meilin, who was still sitting by the riverbank.
"Look, Meilin!" Lian stared at Meilin while slowly opening the leaf wrapping. "The meat your brother cooked is ready. Aren't you hungry? Do you want to try your brother's cooking for the first time? But like Brother said before, maybe it tastes bland... I take back what I said earlier about my cooking matching Mother's or Sister Heliana's. I was too naive to think my cooking could match theirs. But, considering our current condition, blandness might be our best friend? Like... just like us. We are like little animals who lost their mother because a fiercer beast ate her, while one of the children swore to avenge his family on the beast that devoured them. Funny, isn't it? Our lives are exactly like that... My life."
Lian laughed bitterly, trying to joke with Meilin. Unintentionally and without him realizing it, his emerald green eyes misted over before a clear liquid finally flowed from them.
Lian wiped his eyes and saw his tears. "Why? Why am I crying? Wasn't... wasn't I supposed to forget it for a while? But, but why can't I forget it?"
Lian rubbed his eyes hard to stop more tears from falling. He then looked at Meilin and laughed, "Hahaha. Forgive Brother, Meilin. Your brother isn't crying, just got some dust in his eyes. It's quite dirty here. Let Brother wash his face first."
Lian then took water from the river and washed his face three times. Once finished, he looked at the meat in front of him.
He took a piece of meat; steam rose from the browned flesh. Lian blew on it and then began feeding his sister.