I still remember how it felt. That piece of meat sat in my mouth like a stone; I couldn't swallow it, yet I couldn't bring myself to spit it out.
A cold, sharp dread washed over me.
"Is it... is it really pork?"
In a moment of pure, blind panic, I swallowed. My past self forced it down, and the regret was instant.
"Run to the bathroom! Do something—just throw it up!"
Jennie stood frozen, staring at me as if she were watching me die. I burst into tears, the world around me blurring into a smear of colors. I forgot the beautiful evening, the glow of the candles, and the fact that we were in a restaurant. All I could feel was my body spiraling into a nightmare.
With shaking hands, I grabbed my phone and dialed.
"Hello? How can I help you?" a nurse's voice answered.
"I... I just..." I stammered, my breath coming in shallow gasps.
"I swallowed meat. It was pork. My doctor told me it's like poison for me! What do I do?"
"First, try to relax. Take a deep breath," the nurse said, her voice steady and calm.
"I'm just a nurse, but stay on the line. I'll transfer you to the doctor on call. Who is your primary physician?"
"Doctor ******," I managed to choke out.
After a tense moment on hold, the assistant to my personal doctor picked up.
"Silly girl, you don't have to worry," the doctor said, her tone warm and soothing.
"It was just a small piece of meat. We only told you to avoid it because your immune system was so low at the time. You can eat it if you like, or avoid it if it makes you uncomfortable—but you aren't in danger."
The weight lifted off my chest instantly. She was so kind, answering a frantic, sudden call without a hint of annoyance. I could finally breathe again.
Jennie was still there, a statue of concern on the other side of the flickering candle. Her face was pale, her hands gripped the edge of the table so tightly her knuckles were white.
"Elena?"
"What did they say?"
"It's okay," I rasped, wiping a stray tear from my cheek with the back of my hand.
"The doctor... she said it's okay. It was just a precaution because my immune system was low back then. I'm not going to die."
Jennie's shoulders dropped an inch, the tension leaving her body in one sudden wave. She slumped back into her chair and covered her face with her hands, letting out a sound that was half-laugh and half-sob.
"God, Elena,"
"You terrified me. I thought—I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was watching you slip away."
I looked down at the plate, at the expensive meal and the soft glow of the restaurant that, only moments ago, had felt like a blurred cage. Now, the colors were returning. The scent of herbs and roasted garlic reached my nose again.
"I'm sorry," I said softly, reaching across the table to touch her arm.
"The fear... it just takes over sometimes. It's like my brain forgets I'm getting better and only remembers the hospital."
Jennie reached out and squeezed my hand back, her eyes shining.
"Don't be sorry. Just... stay with me. Let's just sit here for a minute until the world stops spinning."
We sat there in the middle of the crowded room, waiting for the nightmare of the past to fully retreat back into the shadows.