Consciousness was coming back slowly while I delighted in the clean sheet and a pillow at the right height.
Only someone who has managed to sleep in late on a Sunday after a whole week of overtime knows the feeling I had when I woke up.
Well, at least until I decided to move. I tried to sit up, supported my arms on the edge of the bed and pulled myself up with a clumsy jerk. I felt a sharp pain in my belly and let out a grunt that could in no way be considered delicate or feminine. I looked at the ceiling and recognized my room.
Great, probably the Vane guards found us in time...
I forced my mind to think. It was difficult, as it seemed slow, probably effect of some drug to dampen the pain.
I looked at my belly. I was clean, bandaged and changed into new clothes. The pajamas were a delicate pink that I didn't remember packing for this trip. Abigail undoubtedly had taken care of me when I arrived unconscious.
I looked at my status window:
$$Condition: Sedated$$
Penalty of -1 on all characteristics.Effect: Reduces pain, increases drowsiness.
I looked at the bandages again and noticed that apparently my effort to get up had opened my wound, judging by the scarlet stain spreading on the white sash.
— Son of a bitch...
— Always very modest, my fiancée.
With effort, I turned my head to the side of the window, where the voice came from, and saw Lucian wiping his eyes and fixing his posture. On his cheek a red fabric mark told me he had fallen asleep with his face pressed on the hard table where I had taken my tea.
— Pardon, Your Gra...
— Don't dare finish. — He cut in, voice hoarse with sleep. — As long as we are alone call me you, or Lucian.
He turned to me, red eyes reflecting the light of the candles still burning.
— Sorry, as you prefer. — I said, trying, but failing to ignore the ever-present pain.
He nodded and looked at me, expression worried.
— Heal yourself, Shizuo. — I was a bit startled when he called my name. Still hadn't gotten used to the idea of being allies with the "Shadow Duke".
— Your... Lucian. — I corrected myself in time. — When we were in your room I asked you to call me Livia. It's best, helps avoid public slips.
— You are right, pardon me Livia. But my request stands, heal yourself. — He made a strange long pause, as if struggling internally against pride or protocol. — Please. — He finished.
I couldn't hold it and a smile formed on my lips before I could do anything about it.
Checked the mental interface.
$$Mana: 60/100$$
Apparently the sleep was more restorative than I expected.
— How long have I been asleep?
— About twelve hours. — He said.
Wow. Half a day of sleep. I would be happy in any other situation, but it was hard now, with my belly open.
I placed my hand over the wound and began channeling mana to my fingertips.
— Minor Heal.
The characteristic golden light illuminated the room starting from my abdomen. I looked at Lucian, still sitting. He wore an open military coat over bandages wrapped around his torso.
On the dresser was the dirty shirt of mud and blood he wore when he went after me in the forest.
In the low light and silence that formed, I thought of Hana. She had not manifested and her presence remained retracted.
My wound tingled, and sometimes I could feel a burning as the flesh closed.
It won't be enough, concentrate on the organs, Hana's voice whispered.
Hana then projected into my mind a technical image of internal organs from an anatomy book. Without answering her, I obeyed and immediately felt a deeper pain. I ground my teeth and closed my eyes, feeling my muscles regenerating at a cellular level.
When I opened my eyes upon finishing stabilizing the bleeding, I saw the two live embers staring at me.
— Now rest, you seem to be in a lot of pain — he said.
I ignored him. I got up, now feeling much better, and approached him.
He arched an eyebrow, but said nothing.
— Can you show me where the club hit you?
He hesitated, the defensive posture of someone not used to receiving help. But then he nodded. I noticed him having difficulty lifting his arms and helped him remove the heavy coat. I knelt beside him and extended my hands over the stained bandages on his ribs.
— Minor Heal.
Light enveloped his torso. He let out a long sigh, tension leaving his shoulders.
— As you must know, this event shouldn't have happened — he murmured.
— Yes... Any idea who did this? I don't recognize any of those guys. They were generic mobs.
— None that is possible to prove, however...
— Suspicions?
— Let's just say Fergus was extremely solicitous when informed of your kidnapping. Promptly sent his best men to the city to investigate.
— Very worried about my well-being... — I commented, cynical.
— Indeed. — He looked at me with a complicit smile. — The kidnappers were mercenaries. Known in the region, professionals.
— The type you would hire to kidnap me? — I asked, remembering the original script.
He stared at me for a few seconds, expression serious.
— Yes. Weeks ago I would hire them, yes.
— Not now, nor in the future?
— I don't think I need to. I already have you here, don't I?
I nodded, averting my eyes back to the wound, feeling my face heat up.
The image of a human skeleton appeared in my mind, superimposed on his body. Courtesy of Hana, no doubt.
You are blushing, she said, apparently more awake and provocative.
I won't fall for that. You have no way of seeing our face.
And do I need to? I would be if I were you. And if I cared about romance.
— Livia?
I raised my eyes upon hearing my name, fearing I had babbled my mental conversation aloud.
— My wound — he said. — It has healed completely.
No, the bone is just in place, it's good for him to stay at least a few more days without moving much.
— I put the bone in place, yes, but don't abuse it. Better rest for a few days — I instructed, getting up and sitting in the chair opposite him.
— Lucian? How did you manage to find me?
— I wanted to know if everything was in order, so I came to see how you were. When you didn't answer my calls, I opened the door and noticed the forced window. When the prince suggested conducting searches in the city, I decided to check the path to the woods. It wasn't hard to track the wagon wheels on the mud path.
— And who brought us back?
— Captain Vincent. I will introduce him to you at the end of this week, but... I imagine you already know who he is.
Yes, I knew. It was Lucian's right-hand man, faithful to the point of madness. Does everything his master orders without ever questioning. The Vane watchdog.
A shiver ran down my spine, and Lucian noticed.
— Don't worry, he is just a reflection of my nature. I want to believe I am a slightly better man now.
I smiled at him.
— I think crossing kidnapping and false imprisonment off your repertoire helps a lot.
— I am happy to rise in your estimation, Shizuo.
Once again he said my name, but this time I didn't want to correct him. It sounded... personal.
Again.
What is it this time, Hana?
You blushed again. You are falling for him.
Since when are you an expert on romance, Hana??
I don't need to be, we share a body, forgot? The palpitations, the sweat on our hand, this stupid urge to laugh non-stop like an idiot.
This is ridiculous, we almost died, I am just very grateful.
Don't blame yourself, he is quite handsome indeed. And charming, in a gothic and depressed way.
While the mental debate raged furiously, I observed Lucian's profile as he looked contemplatively out the window, watching the garden illuminated only by the lanterns along the main path.
And you, have you ever been interested in someone? — I asked to shift focus.
Well, only once.
In 'him'?
Him?
Yes, you said yesterday that you could only handle one person, and that he wasn't around.
Ah. Yes. It was... Someone I respected very much in the other life.
What was he like?
Well, he was sloppy, bossy, too uptight, complained about everything that was minimally out of the box...
I don't know if I understand, and you were interested only in this guy? Your whole life?
Yes. Because he challenged me, made me improve... He saw me and didn't automatically roll out a red carpet just because I had talent. He looked at me and said: "You're late". And he trusted me and I trusted him and no one else.
Trust... That is important, right? — I reflected.
I looked at Lucian and saw him studying me. On his face, a gentle curiosity that didn't match the villain I knew.
In the silence that followed, what was just a buzz in my head became a sharp and loud whistle, impossible to continue ignoring.
— Lucian, can I ask you a question?
— Of course.
— How did you know my name? I mean... Even if you also came from Earth, how did you know it was me here? How did you know I wasn't just Livia acting strange?
That was bothering me, in the back of my mind. And when Hana revealed that she also knew details about my life... My thoughts were a train without brakes, and suddenly I found myself irritated with the situation. I felt exposed.
Lucian took a deep breath and seemed to make a decision.
— Right. We are going to need to trust each other. No. I want you to trust me, so I will trust you.
I felt my chest tighten, without knowing why.
— I am not from the same Earth as you. Where I came from, there is no game called PsychoLove, there is only a...
— Manga — I interrupted, remembering my conversation with Hana. A flash of cold comprehension.
— That.
— And this manga is an Isekai?
He nodded, looking into my eyes so I could see his sincerity.
— I knew it very well, read it all many times. You are the protagonist of it.
The pieces fit together with a terrifying click sound.
How the two knew who I was. The holes in my memory. The blank pieces of my life... They weren't missing, they were just details of a background that was never even created.
Sorry, Shizuo. Hana's voice sounded tiny.
I didn't answer. I couldn't.
Hana wasn't just the screenwriter who wrote the Game Psycolove, she was the screenwriter of my entire life.
Everything. My cherished memories, my days suffering in a shitty company, my childhood, ending up in an unknown world... Was none of that real? Was I just a few lines written in Hana's notebook?
I must have been wearing my emotions on my forehead, because Lucian soon tried to comfort me, in his dry and direct way as always.
— Shizuo, there is no reason to feel bad about this.
— Knowing that my fucking life was a fiction seems like a damn good reason to feel bad! — I exploded, standing up abruptly from the table. The chair scraped on the floor with a horrible sound.
I felt tears forming, hot and furious, but forced myself not to let them fall. I wasn't going to cry in front of the "reader".
Lucian stood up and raised his hand toward my face. He stopped a few centimeters away, giving me time to retreat. I didn't retreat. With the back of his finger, he delicately wiped the held-back tear and looked at me firmly.
— In my world this is all true. You are a character. But not here.
— You don't need to try to comfort me.
— I am not. What does it matter how you came to be? This is not the world I knew in my version of Earth. Here we bleed. — He pointed to the red stain on my belly, and then to his own. — Your pain is real. Your fear is real. You are as real as I am.
I wasn't able to answer. I felt that if I opened my mouth again, this time I wouldn't be able to avoid breaking down. His validation was... solid. Physical.
Instead, I turned and sat on my bed, hugging my knees, reflecting. Lucian left the table area and covered me when I lay down. He checked the window lock and went to the divan on the other side of the room.
— I will spend the night here, just in case — he said, lying down and closing his eyes, without waiting for an answer.
I wouldn't give any, and he knew it.
I was a whirlwind. Anger, apathy, sadness.
Shizuo... Hana tried again.
No, Hana. I know what you're going to say, but not today, please. I want to be alone.
...Of course.
Her presence retracted again.
I was relieved, her mere presence infuriated me, and I was devastated immediately after for feeling hate for her. The pain was too fresh.
I wiped my eyes and turned towards the divan.
I stayed watching Lucian, thinking about what he had said.
And although nothing he said had comforted me or made me feel good, at least he made me believe that he believes in me. That he sees me.
For now, it would have to suffice.
I don't remember at what moment I closed my eyes, but I had no more strength to fight and surrendered to sleep with the image of Duke Vane asleep, guarding my door.