He didn't resent his younger self. Quite the opposite, he was immensely grateful for Young Obito's wish. It was thanks to that wish that Kushina and all the Konoha ninjas who had died during the Nine-Tails Incident had been brought back to life, easing the burden of the debt he owed, especially the part that had been the hardest to repay.
Although thanking himself felt rather strange, Adult Obito from the mission scroll world was deeply grateful to Young Obito from the Kannabi Bridge era.
If he were ever put on trial for the crimes he had committed, even the combined offenses of ten S-rank Missing-nin might not have been enough to match his record.
And yet...
Everything had been completely turned around.
He had gone from the leader of a group of Missing-nin to an outstanding Konoha ninja with perhaps the best chance of competing for the position of Fifth Hokage.
Good grief! The leap was so enormous that even he was afraid to accept it!!
And that wasn't all. He had even stolen Team 7 from Kakashi!!!
Someone save him! He was too ashamed to keep living!!
If circumstances allowed it, he almost wanted to imitate Shisui Uchiha, leave behind a suicide note, and jump off a cliff!
Wait, no. Because the entire world had been rewritten, Shisui Uchiha was still alive too. After hearing everything that had happened, Shisui spent his days trying to get justice for Itachi and seized every opportunity he could to make Obito's life difficult.
There were already rumors going around the clan that "Shisui and Obito just don't mix"!!
"What's with that miserable face?"
Kakashi watched Obito Uchiha remain silent for ages, doing nothing but cycling through expressions on that scarred face of his. Remorse one moment, horror the next, then anger. If Kakashi didn't stop him, Obito was probably going to mentally drift right out of the Ninja World.
"I was thinking about what you said. There are plenty of talented people in this generation of the Uchiha Clan. Itachi and Shisui are both good choices. If that doesn't work, Brother Fugaku Uchiha could take the position. Honestly, any of them would have a more legitimate claim to becoming Hokage than I do."
"Putting Shisui aside, do you really think Itachi is suited for it? Would he even accept the position of Hokage?"
Obito Uchiha pursed his lips. "He'd still be much better than me."
"Did you get handed the script for some tragic male protagonist?" Kakashi was so speechless that he nearly pulled out Icha Icha Paradise again. "Even the heartbroken girls in that book aren't as dramatic as you."
"How is that remotely the same?!" Obito wrinkled his nose. "And that trashy book is bad for your physical and mental health. Stop reading it."
"Oh? For the mastermind behind Akatsuki, you're surprisingly innocent."
"Tsk! You're so mature, then? Fine, read that book aloud to me ten times!"
Remembering the time he had once been forced to read Icha Icha Paradise aloud, Kakashi immediately backed down.
Reading it privately was one thing.
Reading that stuff aloud in front of someone else...
That was social death in its purest form.
Obito Uchiha had never seriously intended to make Kakashi read the thing ten times anyway. He snorted and complained that Kakashi had dragged the conversation off topic.
"We're not off topic. For me..."
Kakashi paused, then looked up at the night sky of this ancient era.
"For me, the fact that you're still alive, and that the two of us can both live as Konoha ninjas and casually talk about pointless things like this... it already feels like a dream from the Infinite Tsukuyomi."
The words themselves were plain, and Kakashi's voice barely changed as he spoke.
Yet somehow, they made Obito Uchiha's chest ache with a painful warmth.
"But I took your position as the Sixth Hokage! I even took Team 7..."
"I never wanted to be Hokage in the first place. You know that. In the other world, wasn't it thanks to a certain someone that I ended up becoming the Sixth Hokage?"
That "certain someone" was obviously the even more tragic Obito Uchiha from that world.
He hadn't learned until just before his death that everything had been part of a conspiracy. If he hadn't managed to help a little during the battle against Kaguya, he probably wouldn't even have been able to die in peace.
"As for Team 7..." Kakashi said, "I'll admit I'm a little reluctant to let them go."
Obito followed his train of thought. "Naruto, Sasuke, and that girl Sakura are all exceptional. Especially Naruto. No matter how desperate things get, there's always someone willing to reach out, pull him up, and help him through it."
At that, both of them fell silent for a moment.
If someone had reached out to Obito Uchiha when he had fallen into darkness all those years ago, if someone had told him to hold on to who he really was, and that even though Rin was dead, she would still be watching over them...
Perhaps he could have turned away from the darkness too.
Perhaps he could have returned to Konoha, thrown himself into becoming stronger, worked toward becoming Hokage, and maybe even changed the Ninja World.
"So..."
Kakashi placed a hand on Obito Uchiha's shoulder. "Hasn't the mission scroll given you a chance to start over?"
"But this chance is way too unfair to you! I don't even have any confidence that I'll ever figure out how to compensate you!"
"Obito, are you..."
Kakashi paused, successfully drawing all of Obito Uchiha's attention.
"Do you only become smart when you put on a mask?"
The words themselves didn't hurt much.
The insult, however, was absolutely brutal!
"Sorry, sorry." Seeing Obito staring at him with dead fish eyes, Kakashi hurriedly apologized. "It just feels like you suddenly turned back into the Obito Uchiha you were as a kid. Not very smart, maybe even a little dumb, stubborn to a fault, but always trying to help anyone who was in trouble."
Obito: "..."
If you looked closely, his slightly protruding lower lip made it obvious that he was not pleased.
What did he mean, "not very smart, maybe even a little dumb"?
What did he mean, "you only become smart when you put on a mask"?
Were all his intelligence stat points attached to the mask or something?!
Growing older and becoming more reserved had apparently only made Kakashi better at dressing up his insults. You had to think about them for a couple of seconds before realizing that he was still the same sharp-tongued Kakashi from childhood, right?!
Right?!!
Seeing that Obito still hadn't understood, Kakashi sighed.
"Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
"What?"
"For me, the fact that you, Rin, and Minato-sensei are all alive is the best compensation I could ever ask for. Compared to the Sixth Hokage in that other world, who had to watch you die in front of him twice, I'm unbelievably lucky."
"But..."
"If you don't believe me, go ask the Sixth Hokage in that parallel world whether he envies me right now."
"I'm not Obito Ōtsutsuki. It's not like I can just visit another parallel world whenever I feel like it."
"Then stop obsessing over it. Naruto and the others are almost done fighting."
"What about Team 7...?"
"I already discussed that with the Fourth Hokage-sama. For now, the two of us will lead them together. Once everyone adjusts, we can decide what to do afterward."
"What kind of team has two Jōnin instructors?"
"We don't have much choice. That team is full of problem children, after all, right? But if you insist on compensating me..."
The moment Adult Obito realized Kakashi actually had something in mind, he started nodding vigorously.
"Yeah, yeah! Tell me! Anything!"
"The Missing-nin Inn needs a security guard."
"I can do that!"
It was just keeping an eye on his former subordinates. He was good at that!
"We also need someone to run errands."
"I can do that!"
Kamui was practically made for errands!
"Pakkun and the others need someone to walk the dogs."
"Easy!"
His reputation as a D-rank mission killer hadn't come from nowhere!
"There's no salary, but meals are included."
"The benefits are that good?!"
Kakashi was an amazing cook!
It was an employment deal so exploitative that even a capitalist would shed tears, yet Obito Uchiha, former Masked Man and thoroughly manipulated victim, accepted it with delight.
"OK, deal. Feeling better?"
"Yeah."
Kakashi really did have a knack for taming troublesome creatures.
"Try looking forward to seeing Rin when we get back. Just don't give yourself away. Though honestly, I doubt Rin will fail to notice something's wrong."
"Aaaah! Don't remind me, Kakashi! Now I'm nervous again!!"
By the time the two finished talking, Naruto, Sasuke, Young Obito, and Young Kakashi had finished their fight and returned.
The Land of That had not only withdrawn from the territory of the Land of Ancestors, but had also signed a treaty promising not to invade again for the next hundred years.
When it came to pulling pranks, nobody could beat Naruto.
He pretended to be a messenger of the Fox Spirit and declared that if the Land of That ever broke the treaty, an unbearable natural disaster would descend upon them and destroy their nation.
Sasuke Uchiha, Young Obito, and Young Kakashi stood beside him listening, cold sweat running down their faces.
And yet, the people from the Land of That believed every word.
They repeatedly prostrated themselves and begged the Fox Spirit to spare them.
Inside Naruto, the Nine-Tails laughed like a hundred-ton Husky, marveling that after living for more than a thousand years, it had somehow never thought of using a trick like this. Otherwise, it could have had humanity obediently under control ages ago.
Sakura and Rin had also finished treating most of the wounded.
The group then returned to where Kaguya and the main group were gathered.
From far away, they could already see the Emperor standing dejectedly to one side. Aside from a handful of attendants, no one was paying him any attention.
Meanwhile, Kaguya was talking with Hamura Ōtsutsuki, the First Hokage, and the others. The First Hokage was showing off the Wood Release: Hashirama's Technique, which he had recently come up with after getting inspiration from his junior, Yamato.
It was basically a deluxe version of the Wood Release: Four Pillars Technique.
Hashirama had originally wanted to call it the Wood Release: Hashirama's Tobirama Pillars, Roof Tiles, Happy Family Technique, but his younger brother Tobirama Senju had forcibly stopped him before he could make the name official.
"Uncle Hashirama, this house is even bigger than the ones Captain Yamato makes, dattebayo!"
"And it's more luxurious too." Sakura looked around the interior. "With a technique like this, you wouldn't even need to buy a house. Think how much money you'd save."
Sasuke didn't join the discussion.
His family owned plenty of property.
"Hmph! Even an ability like that couldn't keep up with the speed at which he loses money."
Izuna Uchiha was still rather resentful over the fact that Hashirama had gambled away all of his older brother's money and even lost one of his clan members as collateral.
Hashirama looked aggrieved and insisted that he had won money afterward and paid Madara back.
That only made Izuna even angrier. If it hadn't been for him that time, Naruto would have ended up losing too!
"Brother, I've told you over and over! Stay away from Hashirama Senju. Nothing good ever comes from it!"
Madara Uchiha scratched his hair, finally understanding what Hashirama must have felt like when he used to get caught between Madara and Tobirama.
Rejected by Madara, Hashirama went to his younger brother for comfort.
Unfortunately, Tobirama merely snorted and had no intention of indulging his nonsense. Instead, he brought the conversation back to what they had been discussing before Naruto and the others entered the wooden house created by the Wood Release: Hashirama's Technique.
"You said Big Brother is the God Tree? What does that mean?"