The boy's voice grew hoarse...
Under everyone's gaze, his words slowly faded. The initial air of confidence he had worn so proudly was long gone. Now, he was nothing more than a little shrimp, stumbling over his words, secretly wishing he could form an Earth Release seal and shrink into the ground.
"She pressed... pressed against... the man's... man's... dark-colored... chest... chest... chest!"
At that point, everyone could tell what this passage was...
Well...
...an erotic novel.
Minato Namikaze covered his forehead, his ears flushed, inwardly sighing. Jiraiya-sensei, you've really put your grand-student through the wringer.
Young Kakashi was still desperately struggling.
"Master, I did this of my own free will..."
Obito's face turned crimson, his entire body as red as a boiled shrimp. His voice was already on the edge of breaking, slightly hoarse, and his Adam's apple bobbed involuntarily. Listening to young Kakashi's androgynous voice recite this passage...
If you asked him how he felt right now, it was as though he hadn't used Fire Release, yet it felt like he had been hit by it!
"Aaaah! What the hell is this nonsense?!!"
Young Kakashi slammed the book he was holding hard against Adult Kakashi. The skin exposed beneath his mask was bright red! Even his ears were blood-red!
Furious and humiliated, he pointed at the other and shouted, "What kind of book are you reading?!! How could I have grown up to be like you, like you! Like you————!!!"
Despite his sharp tongue, he didn't know many insults. He couldn't even find any adjectives to describe this future version of himself standing before him.
Adult Kakashi was equally speechless. Although his face wasn't as red as Young Kakashi's, it was close.
Minato felt utterly helpless, but using this D-rank mission to test whether this scroll was merely a prank from another world was certainly the most appropriate course. He sighed heavily.
"Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Rin, Obito, and this Kakashi over here." He patted his twelve-year-old student on the shoulder. "Plug your ears first."
They complied.
Young Kakashi had a terrible feeling.
Minato said, "Alright, Kakashi, read it through first. If we can pass this way, that'd be ideal."
"Minato-sensei?"
Adult Kakashi's voice was full of grievance, crocodile tears nearly spilling from his eyes.
Patting his student's shoulder, Minato said, "Read it."
"Natsuko shed her outer garments in the bathroom, her two hands, tender as white's spring onions, pressing against the man's wheat-colored..."
The others obediently plugged their ears tightly, only able to see Kakashi-sensei's Adam's apple bob up and down, his mouth opening and closing incessantly beneath the mask. Both his and the Fourth Hokage's faces were flushed crimson, a look that was definitely not pleasant.
Finally, Kakashi finished reading the seventh page marked on the mission scroll. Turning the page, there was the eighth, the fifteenth, the thirty-first, the one hundred sixth, and the two hundred seventh...
"..."
By the time he finished reading everything, Minato was so embarrassed he could have dug his feet into the Hokage Rock.
Kakashi's expression was one of sheer shock.
A random sound test was conducted, but none of the others reacted. Minato confirmed that the children were still properly plugging their ears.
He made a hand gesture, and everyone removed the objects from their ears.
Rin was the first to comfort him. "You've been through a lot, Kakashi."
Kakashi tried to wave her off, but his fingertips were trembling, red with the strain.
This was the first time in his life he'd experienced such a public humiliation.
Young Kakashi felt the sting of a vicarious social death. He wished the guy in front of him would just disappear from the face of the earth—immediately, right now, this very second!
But after a moment's effort, when Sasuke reminded everyone to look at the scroll, they realized...
The scroll still hadn't changed one bit!
"Mission Level: SSS"
"Mission Content: Kill—the Masked Man."
"Mission Level: A-Rank"
"Mission Content: Disguise yourself as the Fourth Mizukage and speak with Zabuza Momochi."
"Mission Level: D-Rank"
"Mission Content: Have Kakashi Hatake read aloud pages 7, 8, 15, 31, 106, and 207 of Icha Icha Paradise."
The three missions spread horizontally, extending far beyond the scroll's initial length.
"Nothing has changed at all."
"Did the mission fail?"
"So, everyone really has to listen to Kakashi-sensei read it aloud?"
"No—!!!" Kakashi's voice came out in a shrill cry. "I solemnly refuse!!!"
Naruto scratched his ear. "What's the big deal? I overheard some of it earlier. It's just the kind of magazine Grandpa Third Hokage loved to read. My Sexy Jutsu was even developed from that stuff."
Minato's head twitched as if some antenna had gone off. "S-sexy what?"
"It's a secret technique powerful enough to beat even Grandpa Third and Iruka-sensei!!"
As soon as Naruto finished speaking, his excited expression quickly morphed into something strange. Then, before anyone could react, he slumped backward! His face was filled with utter shock!
Minato's reflexes were lightning fast!
He grabbed Naruto's tracksuit collar, trying to pull him back up.
But the weight he felt was unexpectedly heavy?!
And worse...
As Minato lifted him, Naruto's pants slid right off?!!
"Eww—!!! Pervert!!!" Sakura cried, covering her face and turning away.
Rin also shifted her gaze slightly.
Naruto let out an odd scream, scrambling to grab his pants from the floor, but it was harder than he thought.
Sasuke: "Open your ninja pouch!!"
...
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