"Captain, go check what's going on."
The captain, however, slowly stepped backward and began counting heads one by one.
Naruto grew anxious. Thinking quickly, he deliberately mimicked the host's tone from earlier in the day and shouted,
"My dear friends, I'm a newcomer who just joined!"
The captain was a burly man with broad shoulders. A fierce coiling dragon was tattooed across his chest.
He swept Naruto with a scrutinizing gaze, spat to the side, and said, "You're new? Then why didn't you speak up earlier?"
Naruto glanced back at him. His accent didn't sound like someone from the Land of Waves—it was closer to Cardo's inner circle.
Rolling his eyes, Naruto replied, "My dear friend, I was so moved by the team's spirit that I followed them without thinking. Didn't Chief Kaka say we should unite everyone we possibly can?"
The captain said nothing. He stepped forward and began patting Naruto down.
After checking him from head to toe and confirming he carried no dangerous items, the captain asked,
"What is Mr. Cardo's philosophy?"
Naruto hesitated.
Over the past few days, aside from training, he'd been running reconnaissance nonstop. Who knew what nonsense they expected him to say?
Recruiting followers?
Bringing spring to the Land of Waves?
Spouting nonsense would probably backfire.
No—he had to seize the initiative.
Naruto deliberately let disappointment show in his eyes.
"My friend, is this how you test your own people?"
The captain frowned.
Naruto slowly raised his voice.
"I just attended a meeting with my friends this morning. Everyone said friends are even closer than relatives—you can entrust your back to them. And now you're questioning a friend's loyalty?"
People nearby turned their heads. Whispering spread through the crowd.
The captain looked embarrassed. "Lower your voice. Don't say anything that harms unity."
"You're the one harming unity!" Naruto turned to the crowd.
"My friends, this friend here suspects I'm an enemy. Heaven knows I've been eating the leader's food for days now! How could I possibly be an enemy?!"
An elderly man beside Naruto said gently, "Yes, my dear. If we join this circle of friends and relatives, we'll have enough food and clothing. There's no need to be so sensitive."
"Exactly, exactly."
The captain was momentarily speechless.
"Ah… I see, my friends. Recently, a group of spies infiltrated the Land of Waves—"
"Spies! I'm a spy!" Naruto roared, his face twisting in rage.
Even though… he technically was one.
"Shh! Keep it down!" The captain hurriedly pulled Naruto back. "Ahem—just go inside and register first."
A woman in the crowd comforted him. "Young man, don't be angry. Just go register."
"Hmph." Naruto snorted, finally giving the captain a way out.
You're clever, kid…
Wait—why does it feel weird that I really am a spy?
The group filed into the gathering site. The captain counted heads, then had friends and relatives receive their name tags.
Naruto got one too.
The small metal tag bore a number: 3021.
"Does that mean over three thousand people have fallen already…?" Naruto thought.
After collecting their money, the captain's group headed to the living quarters. The area was under military control, packed with large communal dormitories.
Each building housed dozens of people. The scale was so extreme that even college students would shake their heads at it.
The moment Naruto stepped inside, the mixture of odors nearly suffocated him.
He coughed, moved to an empty corner, created a shadow clone, then returned to the dorm while his real body melted into the shadows, motionless.
Suddenly, hurried footsteps echoed in the corridor.
"Report! There's a fire on the west side of the gathering area!"
"Tell several groups of friends to bring wet towels and water to put it out!"
"Damn it! A fire in a place as damp as the Land of Waves?!"
Rustle… rustle…
Footsteps and shouting continued. After a while, Naruto noticed fewer patrols. He boldly slipped out and began moving fast.
The fire had been deliberately started by Sakura—to buy Naruto time.
Naruto summoned more shadow clones, each heading off on its own mission.
"The granary… the granary…" his true body whispered.
At this point, the trio's plan became clear.
They wanted to dismantle the gathering site—but without using force.
Most of the people there were locals from the Land of Waves. Hurting them would make you no better than a terrorist. Even if Satan himself showed up, he'd still politely offer you a cigarette.
Reverse brainwashing? Unrealistic. Cardo's techniques were far more sophisticated than anything the three of them could pull off.
In the end, it was Naruto who suggested raiding the granary.
Food was the key reason these friends and relatives gathered so tightly. Brainwashing was powerful, yes—but reshaping beliefs still took time.
Unless someone was truly insane—willing to give up everything for so-called ideals. Naruto believed there weren't many people like that yet.
Soon, one clone found the granary on the southern side.
He dispersed the clone, and Naruto rushed toward the target.
The granary came into view—along with two tall guards patrolling nearby.
Judging by their attire, they were likely direct subordinates of Cardo.
Naruto didn't attack rashly. Instead, he entered his spiritual space.
"Hey, hey, Nine-Tails," Naruto extended a hand toward the massive eye in his mind.
"Time to pay your rent."
"You're getting more impatient," the Nine-Tails growled. "Have I been too kind lately, making you forget how terrifying I am?"
"All bark, no bite," Naruto shook his head.
"As long as you're stuck behind the Eight Trigrams Seal, you're just a little fox. Hurry up—I've got things to do."
"Hmph!" The Nine-Tails turned away, refusing to respond.
"What's this?" Naruto asked with interest. "Throwing a tantrum?"
"How about this—pay double the rent, and I'll agree to one reasonable request."
The Nine-Tails stayed silent, but its aura clearly shifted.
"With your current power, you couldn't possibly satisfy my demands!"
"Not yet," Naruto replied calmly. "But what about the future?"
"You've already seen my potential—and my growth. Not only that, I can use your power too. Once I grow stronger, what will be impossible for me?"
Or… are you underestimating your own strength?
The Nine-Tails didn't answer—but Naruto knew it had taken the bait.
It wasn't a machine. It had desires. And Naruto was one of the few who might one day fulfill them.
What Naruto didn't say was this:
The Nine-Tails' request had to be reasonable.
And Naruto would be the judge of that.
"…Fine. I'll trust you this time," the Nine-Tails finally said, its breathing steadying as chakra began to flow.
Naruto felt purer and denser chakra surge through him. His awareness snapped back to reality.
He realized he could now maintain simple actions in the real world while conversing with the Nine-Tails—
Like being temporarily offline.
Naruto took two long strides forward, ready to knock out the guards.
Just as he was about to succeed, he suddenly noticed two dark figures lurking in the shadows behind them.
Naruto squinted.
They were the elderly couple he had seen at the gate earlier.
He froze in shock.
My dear friends… please don't force my hand.
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All the fanfiction is 30-chapter ahead but this "A Witty Life in the Naruto World" is 30 chapters ahead there