Inside the vast shopping mall, Asou Akiya and Randou were busy picking out supplies.
Akiya had assumed that Randou would have little interest in shopping, yet to his surprise, their roles had quietly reversed: Akiya ended up pushing the cart, while Randou took charge of selecting items and tossing them in.
Their household was about to gain a problem child.
"Randou, we don't need to buy a whole box of rubber ducks!" Akiya protested aloud.
"Why not?" A box held twenty of them. Randou squeezed the carton, and the little yellow ducks inside let out a chorus of squeaks. With a childlike seriousness, he said, "If we buy more, we can use them next time we go soak in a hot spring."
"…All right." Akiya rubbed his forehead, already imagining a future where rubber ducks clogged the drain.
"Three bath bombs, five bath towels, ten sets of pajamas for each season, shoes as well—" Randou calmly and efficiently decided on every new addition to the household. Listening to him, Akiya felt a swelling happiness in his chest. He did not spare a single thought for whether the house would be overrun with clutter; he had already made up his mind to buy a villa next year to improve their family's security.
Akiya pushed the cart along behind Randou. While waiting, he leaned his elbow against the handle, resting his cheek in his palm.
Even slacking off while standing, the black-haired young man and the French youth beside him formed a strikingly beautiful scene.
"I thought you wouldn't like Ranpo," Akiya said. "I worried for nothing."
"Other than being annoyingly talkative, he's fine," Randou replied, hitting the nail squarely on the head.
"Haha, yeah, exactly." Taking advantage of Ranpo's absence, Akiya hurriedly added a few bad words. "He really can't control his mouth. He has no idea what should be said and what shouldn't. His biological parents raised him to believe he lives in a world of geniuses."
Randou's expression turned intrigued. "What do you mean?"
Akiya complained, "In his mind, everyone in the world starts with an IQ of at least two hundred—so he's always thought of himself as an idiot."
"That does make things interesting." Randou was selecting toiletries for the child they were about to take in, when Akiya reminded him, "Randou, choose a toothbrush in a cute style, and pick a children's toothpaste with a fruity flavor."
"He's just simple-minded, not an actual child," Randou said.
Akiya shrugged. "It smells nice."
Randou: "..."
Randou had no choice but to clarify. "You said he's a genius. He's thirteen—so how old is he, mentally?"
Akiya's expression remained perfectly calm, the look of someone long accustomed to dealing with problem children. "If we don't count how he behaves outside, then when he first comes to our home… just imagine a kid who's only just left his parents' arms and is about to cry his way into kindergarten."
Randou sucked in a sharp breath.
Then he asked, "Will he wet the bed?"
Akiya replied gently, "No need to worry. He has experience living on his own."
Through Akiya's relentless complaining, Randou's impression of Edogawa Ranpo steadily reversed, his favorability ticking up bit by bit. He didn't like children, but he did like humans who were extraordinarily exceptional. In his mind, Ranpo had already turned into a three-year-old prodigy, tearfully clutching their clothes and crying, I don't have a mom or dad anymore.
Cute—there was no other word for it.
Without that innocence and charm, Ranpo would have been beaten to death long ago by the adults of society.
"My dear, he's a good child. Teaching him will be a hard job." After shaking out most of Ranpo's dark history, Akiya successfully resolved the conflict between the French cat and the black cat.
Randou looked at the shopping cart piled high to the brim and said, with lingering enthusiasm, "Mm. I'll fulfill my duty to teach him."
Akiya smiled. "Randou, just do it according to how you feel."
Randou smiled faintly.
In his boyfriend's heart, he came first; even with a child joining their lives, that position would not be shaken.
This was Akiya's emotional intelligence at work in handling family relationships.
"Is there a reward?" Randou hinted softly.
"Raise another one…?" Akiya replied, forever missing the little orange cat outside their home.
Randou shot him a glare. Akiya immediately came to his senses and said with an awkward laugh, "I'm joking, I'm joking."
Behind shelves stacked high with daily necessities in the supermarket, Akiya pulled Randou's hand toward him and ducked into a blind spot beyond the reach of the cameras, kissing him without the slightest hesitation. Life, after all, ought to be full of freshness and pleasure.
Randou wrapped an arm around his waist, his hand sliding up to his back, letting his considerate boyfriend shield him from view.
Even if a passerby happened to glimpse them, at most they would startle and quickly walk away.
This was what people called—
"If I'm not embarrassed, then the one who's embarrassed must be someone else."
…
On Monday afternoon, the three days came to a perfect end.
Edogawa Ranpo wasted no time resigning from his job. After laughing loudly three times, he left the Yokohama City Post Office in high spirits, prompting his former superior to roll his eyes hard behind him and mutter, "With Ranpo-kun's temperament, who knows whether the new family taking him in won't kick him out."
He had already heard countless times from the irrepressible Edogawa Ranpo that the boy was going to live with a kind-hearted uncle. At first, he worried the youth was being deceived; later, he realized—
It would be better to worry about the others instead.
A "kind-hearted uncle" capable of coaxing Edogawa Ranpo into working while enduring his temperament was nothing short of a godlike figure.
Edogawa Ranpo first enjoyed a lavish meal with Asou Akiya and Randou, then was brought back home. Ten sets of season-appropriate pajamas and underwear were neatly stacked beside him, free for him to choose from, yet what truly astonished him was what floated in the bathtub—
Twenty little yellow rubber ducks!
Twenty of them!
Even his mother would never have allowed him to put that many yellow ducks into the bath!
"Waaah—!!!"
Edogawa Ranpo charged straight into the bathtub. With a loud splash, water flew everywhere, and in that instant, he reclaimed the warmth of a home.
The terrifying, monster-filled world outside…
For the moment, it retreated far away from him.
At the bathroom doorway, Asou Akiya heard the commotion inside and knew at once that Ranpo was playing in the water. The corners of his lips lifted as he said to Randou, whose footsteps were nearly soundless, "Looks like your idea really worked."
Randou had already finished bathing and changed into comfortable home clothes. His long hair, still slightly damp, curled naturally and fell down to his waist, making Akiya involuntarily think of the allure of black hair fanning out underwater—he truly looked like a mermaid. Those misty green eyes of his rested on another person with a gaze that was both deep and melancholic, now tinged with a smile; he would not resent the child Akiya cherished.
"I didn't expect him to like it this much either," Randou said.
In this society, someone as pure as Edogawa Ranpo had become exceedingly rare.
"Thank you," Akiya said softly.
A wager between Akiya and Ranpo had resulted in a third person squeezing into their little love nest.
All one could say was that Ranpo was slyly clever.
The guardian this little imp had found would never lack money, would never lack love—
He only lacked cats.
Randou let out a soft laugh. "Watch a movie with me," he said. "I've wanted to watch one with you for a long time, but you're always too busy."
Asou Akiya squeezed his hand and headed toward the living room, replying with easy confidence, "Forget one movie—staying up with you all night wouldn't be a problem at all! What's a little work compared to Randou?"
That night, Edogawa Ranpo came padding out in a one-piece Donald Duck pajama suit and watched part of a romance movie with them.
He didn't understand it.
Adults' feelings were just far too complicated.
"I'm going to bed!" Edogawa Ranpo announced, stepping into his cat-shaped slippers and padding back to his bedroom with a series of soft thuds.
Before the door closed, he could still hear Akiya laughing as he said, "Good night—remember to turn off the light before you sleep."
His bedroom was decorated in a more adult style. A thick wool carpet covered the floor, and stepping on it with bare feet was an exquisite pleasure. Honey-colored wallpaper, pale oak flooring, and an orange-toned oil painting set the tone, while several green potted plants on the windowsill added a sense of vitality. Hanging from the ceiling was a tiered crystal chandelier; once lit, it illuminated the room and scattered countless tiny reflections of light, dazzling like a prop straight out of a fairy tale.
After some temporary renovations, the room had also been given a few bright tones that children favored.
On the bed sat a French crocodile plush toy as tall as a person.
Fierce-looking, yet adorably cute.
Edogawa Ranpo played with it for a while, stuffing his head straight into the crocodile's wide-open mouth, having the time of his life.
When he finally tired himself out, he flopped onto the bed in a spread-eagle position, sleepiness washing over him.
"Good night, Uncle… Mr. Randou…"
The movie finished playing.
Asou Akiya raised a finger to his lips in a silent shh toward Randou, and Randou understood at once, blinking lightly in response.
Akiya pushed the door open and stepped into Ranpo's bedroom.
Just as expected—three years old.
The black-haired young man tucked the Donald Duck–clad boy, who shared his hair color and wore an exhausted expression, beneath the blanket, then adjusted the air conditioner to twenty-five degrees. A cold didn't care whether you were a genius or not.
Randou stood at the doorway watching the two of them, his fingertips brushing his chin, finding the scene inexplicably amusing.
They returned to the master bedroom.
"Akiya," Randou said, "you're not twenty-two—you're thirty-two, aren't you?"
"…?!!"
Asou Akiya lunged at his lover at once. He absolutely refused to let a foreigner mock his age!
"Randou! You know exactly how old I am!"
"Oh~."
Randou smiled at him, breathing softly against his Japanese boyfriend's ear. The tenderness left behind after the movie lingered in his brows and eyes, but the words that followed were far less gentle. "Young people don't usually rely on props, you know."
Akiya's ears burned red. He refused to listen.
This kind of happiness had to last a long time—
you couldn't possibly drain it all in one go!
"Randou, I want to write a campus novel," Asou Akiya said, speaking even as he busied himself with his lover, his head lowered against a warm abdomen. The French beauty lay sprawled across the wide bed, every inch of him alluring, biting down on his fingers as broken, breathless sounds slipped from his throat. "The protagonist is exceptionally beautiful—pure, fragile, and heartbreakingly innocent. She falls in love with the bodyguard who protects her, a man who was once an assassin and has since retired."
"There's a particular scene I don't know how to write," Akiya continued softly. "So, Randou, could you act it out for me?"
Your campus novel…
How did it end up being so unabashedly risqué?!
Randou was left speechless. No wonder Akiya had been cursed to high heaven in literary circles.
"Please," the line went, "kill someone for me."
"Hah—"
Randou froze for a fraction of a second, his thoughts seeming to soar skyward before being pulled back into a sweet, dizzying reality. With a poet's sensibility, he picked up the novelist's cue and replied in a hoarse murmur, "Anyone at all."
He tangled his fingers in Akiya's hair, surrendering himself to the intoxicating vessel that was his lover, letting himself sink without restraint.
"Then please," he whispered, "let me be happy enough to die first."
…
The Retired Killer Who Became the School Belle's Personal Bodyguard:
"Please, kill for me. He murdered my parents and seized my inheritance. I can no longer survive. If you truly love me, why won't you raise a gun for my sake?"
—Reader (Asou Akiya)
{Note: which title do you like better? "The Retired Killer Who Became the School Belle's Personal Bodyguard" or "The School Belle's Retired Assassin Personal Bodyguard"}