Sorry for no updates yestreday. My chronic illness flare up. I couldn't get out of my bed without feeling the world tryin to throw me up.
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In the fast-food shop by the roadside, Asou Akiya paid close attention to his health. He ordered only two cups of milk and a pair of sandwiches, nothing more.
Edogawa Ranpo ate his sandwich while washing it down with milk. A pale ring of milk clung to his lips, like the white whiskers left behind when a kitten sneaks a drink. It made the boy's face look all the more youthful and endearing, his entire presence radiating an unguarded, almost naïve purity.
Propping his cheek on one hand, Asou Akiya studied the black-haired, green-eyed youth in silence.
He was like a rare flower cultivated in a greenhouse, precious and sheltered, never yet battered by wind or rain, the budding petals tender enough to seem as though a single touch might bruise them. With the care of the finest gardener, such a flower could have grown smoothly and, one day, bloomed into something dazzling and unparalleled. Unfortunately, the genius parents who had once sheltered Edogawa Ranpo from every storm had died unexpectedly, before they could protect him all the way to adulthood.
The first time Akiya met Ranpo, he had felt a chill run through him, as if he were standing naked in the cold, every secret stripped bare and exposed.
When they met again, his reaction was no longer quite so explosive, yet a heavy, lingering helplessness refused to fade. More accurately, it felt as though a cat had latched onto his leg, making it impossible for him to move on—small claws hooked into his trouser leg. Even though he knew perfectly well that the boy was treating him as nothing more than a meal ticket, he still went against his better judgment and paid for dinner.
Edogawa Ranpo raised his hand eagerly. "I'm not full yet! I want red bean mochi too! I haven't had it in ages!"
Asou Akiya's hand slipped, and once again he became keenly aware of his mistake.
What an idiot.
Ranpo cradled his milk cup, his eyes full of expectation, as if he were certain Akiya would indulge him.
In reality, Asou Akiya let out a quiet sigh, beckoned the server over, and slipped them a tip, asking the fast-food shop employee to buy snacks from the Japanese restaurant across the street on the customer's behalf. "Three bowls of red bean mochi will be enough."
Just as Edogawa Ranpo opened his mouth to protest, Akiya shot him a sideways glance.
"You've already eaten a sandwich and drunk milk. Don't even think about stuffing yourself with eight or nine bowls of red bean mochi in one go."
"…Uncle saw right through me again."
Ranpo's attention shifted again, and with the air of someone showing off, he declared to the adult before him, "You should have said ten bowls! I was just thinking about eating ten! If it were my mother, she definitely would have been even more accurate!"
Asou Akiya replied with merciless precision, striking straight to the point. "With your appetite, no matter how much you like it, you couldn't eat ten bowls."
"That's impossible!" Edogawa Ranpo shot back at once.
Asou Akiya lifted the cup of milk that had already begun to cool and took a sip. "If you ate that much, you'd get sick of it."
He felt an inexplicable sense of world-weariness. Standing in front of Ranpo, he not only had to pretend to possess an IQ of "200," but also felt as though he had aged ten years in the process.
Damn it—he was supposed to be a vibrant young man!
"I'm starting now!" When the server finally returned with the red bean mochi, Edogawa Ranpo dug in eagerly. After finishing three bowls, he realized he had reached a health-conscious, comfortably full seven-tenths, and couldn't help muttering, "It seems I really can't eat ten bowls after all."
Asou Akiya glanced at the mochi from which the red bean filling had been scooped out and said calmly, "You've eaten and drunk your fill. Let's go."
Edogawa Ranpo's excitement faltered at once.
The boy across from him immediately protested, "That's it? Can't you tell I'm homeless now, uncle? There should at least be a little… you know, compassion or something!"
Asou Akiya's gums ached as he replied unhurriedly, "What kind of homeless are you supposed to be? As long as you're shameless enough, the school would still let you stay in the dormitory."
Edogawa Ranpo poked at the mochi skin in his bowl with his chopsticks. "I don't want to go back."
Asou Akiya answered with earnest simplicity, "The orphanage."
Edogawa Ranpo: "..."
Asou Akiya glanced at the time on his wristwatch. If he didn't head back soon, Randou would be calling him.
"I'm going home," he said plainly, "and I don't have any reason to take you in."
He had secrets he needed to keep hidden.
Bringing Ranpo home—was he dissatisfied with the French cat he already had at home, that he needed another one?
No, the black cat should be left for Fukuzawa Yukichi to raise.
"Mister…"
Edogawa Ranpo's voice dropped several notches, carrying a trace of helplessness and loneliness that he himself did not seem fully aware of.
Asou Akiya had already taken a few steps away when his pace abruptly halted. He tightened his grip on the paper bag of bread in his hand. The great detective in his memory was always brimming with confidence, basking in the affection and care of everyone in the Armed Detective Agency.
He turned back to look at the boy.
Those emerald-green eyes were filled with confusion, and unbidden, a line from the original text surfaced in his mind—[An only child who grew up beside genius parents, untouched by the ways of the world.]
His encounter with Edogawa Ranpo was different from the one Ranpo would later have with Fukuzawa Yukichi.
Thirteen years old.
Had Ranpo already reached the limit of his patience at the very first hurdle of school? And yet, far harsher trials awaited him in the future.
His phone rang. It was Randou calling.
Buying bread and accompanying Ranpo through dinner had delayed him far more than expected. Asou Akiya sighed and said to the person on the other end of the line, "My dear, I'll be back a bit later. It's not convenient to talk right now—I ran into a little stray kitten on the way that was begging to be fed."
Returning to the table, Asou Akiya stuffed the bag of bread into Edogawa Ranpo's arms. "Take this as tomorrow's breakfast. Don't sneak food late at night, or you'll upset your stomach. Seven-tenths full is enough each time."
Edogawa Ranpo protested awkwardly, "I'm not a cat!"
Wasn't the key point supposed to be the "begging to be fed" part? Asou Akiya felt every single possible complaint slot in his mind being triggered all at once.
"If you don't want to go to school, then you need to find a way to support yourself," Asou Akiya said as he stood there without sitting back down, the narrow set of his eyes carrying a distinctly Huaguo way of thinking. "Speaking purely from a personal standpoint, I would still advise you to continue your studies. One dorm supervisor at the police academy doesn't represent everyone. If you graduate properly, you can enter the Metropolitan Police Department and become someone like your father."
Edogawa Ranpo tilted his head. "You don't even know my father—so how can you understand him?"
Asou Akiya draped himself in an invisible aura of high intelligence and smiled calmly. "You carry traces your parents left behind. It's very easy to associate you with that retired detective who withdrew from public life, the man people once called the 'Clairvoyant.'"
Edogawa Ranpo immediately seized on the topic and began complaining, saying that in his family, his mother had been far more formidable, while his father had not been nearly as impressive.
"…I'm telling you, Father was always defeated by Mother."
"Mm, your esteemed mother deserves great respect," Asou Akiya replied.
He silently paid his respects to that unnamed housewife from the original story. If he ever met her in person, he would absolutely keep his distance out of sheer awe.
Edogawa Ranpo visibly wilted, realizing that the man in front of him had no intention of changing his mind.
"You're already secretly raising kids outside," Ranpo blurted out. "Why not raise one more—me?"
"..."
The moment those words left his mouth, the fast-food restaurant staff immediately wore expressions full of gossip and curiosity.
Asou Akiya took a deep breath. "Did you forget our agreement?"
Edogawa Ranpo hurriedly replied, "I didn't forget! I was just joking! No one would take that seriously—I know that child isn't related to you by blood—ugh! Not an illegitimate child!"
"Stop explaining!" Asou Akiya cut him off before the story spiraled even further out of control, clamping a hand over that troublesome mouth. "I know what you're trying to say, so please, just stop talking. Do you still want to know where you'll be living starting tomorrow?"
Did he know why he absolutely did not want to adopt Ranpo?
Was this really it? Was this all it took?!
If he didn't beat Ranpo to death right now, then one day—when Randou inevitably met Chuuya—Randou would beat him to death instead!
After Edogawa Ranpo finally stopped struggling, those damp, emerald-green eyes fixed on him without blinking.
Asou Akiya released his grip, grinding his teeth as he spoke. "The military camp. They're willing to take in underage boys with clean backgrounds. As long as you don't cause trouble, surviving there won't be a problem. And if you decide you don't want to do it anymore, you can leave at any time."
Edogawa Ranpo immediately became obedient. "Food and lodging included?"
Asou Akiya nodded.
Ranpo hesitated, scuffing his feet against the floor back and forth. This uncle treated him well, would not shove him into Mafia work, and the suggestion he offered was, in fact, within the range of options Ranpo had already considered.
Still, after losing his parents, Edogawa Ranpo had learned to seize pleasure while he could. In the end, he decided to try something new. "Since it's a job you're recommending, Uncle, I'll give it a try." Using the most innocent, guileless tone imaginable, he asked the extremely unreliable Asou Akiya, "Will the people there tell the truth, like you do?"
Asou Akiya looked at him deeply. "Society is a comprehensive final examination. And you're still very far from graduating."
Instantly, resistance welled up inside Edogawa Ranpo.
He hated it—absolutely hated it! Why was the adult world filled with lies, so uncomfortable, so suffocating?!
The boy complained openly, "All these inexplicable rules are so annoying. Uncle, how did you even survive this stage?"
Asou Akiya tried to guide him gently. "Didn't your mother ever tell you why?"
"Mother?" The boy instinctively reached for his milk, only to realize the cup was already empty. "The schools back in the countryside and the adults there were the same. Mother said that if I couldn't understand it, it meant I hadn't grown up yet."
Edogawa Ranpo puffed out his cheeks in frustration, yet there was a clear, upright light in his eyes—a brightness shaped by society's better side, and a testament to how well his parents had taught him.
"Uncle," he asked, "when will I finally count as grown up?"
Asou Akiya fell silent.
Only children long to grow up, while adults yearn to return to their childhood.
Ever since he had once ruffled little Chuuya's head, Asou Akiya found his right hand moving almost of its own accord to Ranpo's hair. He gently rubbed the boy's messy black curls, feeling no irritation at all toward their unkempt state. He knew Ranpo was not a sloppy child; he was simply bad at living. Without his parents, he drifted alone through the streets of Yokohama, with no one to rely on.
Edogawa Ranpo blurted out impatiently, "I'll give you a chance to change your mind!"
Go on, touch me!
Servant, hurry up and take me home!
If the human heart could form bubbles, they would surely be bursting with an overwhelming stream of cat-like thoughts and pleas.
Asou Akiya withdrew his hand expressionlessly, pulled out his phone, and snapped a photo, calmly collecting a piece of Ranpo's dark history for safekeeping.
Edogawa Ranpo even struck a pose, smiling with pure, unguarded innocence, and cheerfully imitated the sound effect, "Click!" In that moment, Asou Akiya suddenly understood the strange joy of raising a child—such a foolishly adorable son was someone you could tease as much as you liked, without ever feeling it was too much.
What those two genius parents had protected, above all else, was Edogawa Ranpo's happiness, doing everything they could to delay the day he would be forced to grow up.
They understood this clearly.
Growing up was a slap paid for with pain and tears.
Asou Akiya had personally endured this stage of transformation, and both his body and mind had long since left adolescence behind; the realization struck him deeply. He did not expose the gentle lies Ranpo's parents had told, because he was a rational adult with a measure of kindness, someone who understood timing and restraint, and who knew how to be tolerant toward children. "When there are older adults around," he said softly, "you don't need to rush to grow up. Take it slowly."
You will meet Fukuzawa Yukichi.
You will meet someone far more responsible and reliable than I am, a bodyguard and caretaker all in one, someone who can protect you.
I can't.
I don't have the strength to keep you safe inside a secure shelter, nor do I want you to become that dark IF version of yourself.
The Armed Detective Agency is your brightest future.
Asou Akiya looked at Ranpo, who could not read the thoughts in his heart and was staring back at him with open curiosity. "If you're ever so hungry that you've got nowhere else to go, it's fine to come to me for food," he said, "but you are absolutely not allowed to go anywhere near my home or my workplace."
"Do you hear me, kid?"
Do not step willingly into danger and darkness.
Do not become the kind of person your parents would never want to see.
"…," Edogawa Ranpo, who had understood this time, deliberately played dumb. "What's with you adults? Why do you all love lecturing so much?"
Asou Akiya flicked his forehead.
"Ow!" Ranpo yowled like an offended cat.
"Learn a little about how the world works," Asou Akiya thought weakly to himself. Even Chuuya at two years old was better at dealing with people than you are.
Edogawa Ranpo pulled a face at him, clearly unwilling to be compared to the child he was secretly raising.
Asou Akiya paid the bill, left behind the idle Ranpo, and walked out of the fast-food restaurant. Once outside, he turned back and waved through the glass window at the black-haired boy, who seemed to be living in a world as small and enclosed as a goldfish bowl.
This was the first time he broke the distance between strangers, the first time he took the initiative to say goodbye.
Edogawa Ranpo suddenly sprang forward in a burst of energy, rushing out and shouting at the top of his lungs, "Hey, my name is Edogawa Ranpo!"
—I heard you.
—The world's number one great detective.
The faint smile that rose on Asou Akiya's face held far too many things that Edogawa Ranpo would inevitably like.
For no clear reason, with no need for one, Ranpo felt happy as a matter of course.
"I will grow up!"
This grand graduation exam called society—he was confident he wouldn't need to rely on anyone, and next time he would definitely pass it with a perfect score!
Ranpo-the-cat clenches his fist.jpg
Countdown to the next round of society's brutal beatdown.
...
"The Phantom Lord": After reaching adulthood, people become worldly and lose the keen sensitivity unique to youth. Becoming unafraid like this is, in truth, the result of losing that delicate, perceptive heart of adolescence, and I feel no joy at all because of it. I want to be more afraid. I want to feel far more fear toward ordinary, commonplace things that do nothing more than make people laugh.
—Edogawa Ranpo.