4:30 in the afternoon.
Dexter arrived at the Alibi with the stuff he'd bought and sat down to wait for Carl.
Only five minutes passed—
Carl came jogging into the bar, immediately spotted Dexter, and ran over excitedly.
"I'm here!"
Dexter glanced at the time.
Honestly, it made sense.
Kids with a new toy on the line don't exactly have patience.
"Did you run all the way here?" Dexter asked, noticing the sweat on Carl's face.
"Yeah," Carl said casually as he climbed onto a barstool and nodded.
"Catch your breath for a couple minutes," Dexter said, waving Kevin over to pour Carl a glass of milk.
"I ran into your sister Fiona this morning. I told her about the paintball thing. What'd she say?"
Carl grabbed the milk, chugged it in one go, thunk, set the glass down.
"She said she's busy and told us to find an empty spot near our house. She also said you're probably not a pervert—but told me to be careful anyway."
Dexter: "..."
Okay. Fair concern. Totally normal.
Still, hearing it said that bluntly kind of stung.
"I'm not a pervert," Dexter said helplessly.
Carl grinned.
"I know. You're into Fiona…"
"Stop." Dexter immediately cut him off. Carl was way too powerful.
"Let's not talk about that. We'll grab a burger, then head near your place."
"Deal!" Carl shouted excitedly and hopped off the stool.
"Kevin, I'm heading out. See you tomorrow," Dexter said, pulling out fifty bucks and setting it on the bar.
"Wait—aren't you going near the Gallagher place?" Kevin said. "I get off early tonight, around 6:30. After you're done playing with Carl, wanna come by my place for a late-night snack?"
"Sure. I've got nothing going on anyway. See you tonight," Dexter agreed easily.
"See you."
Dexter and Carl walked out of the bar.
Carl couldn't wait.
"Dexter, the paintball gun's in the bag, right? Let me see it!"
Dexter didn't waste time. He opened his backpack and handed Carl a brand-new paintball gun.
"I'm not giving you the paintballs yet. This is a public street—if you start shooting people, I'm screwed."
This wasn't suspicion. It was certainty.
If Carl got the paintballs now, this little demon would absolutely go pew pew pew at random pedestrians.
And as the adult standing next to him, Dexter couldn't exactly pretend he didn't know the kid.
Carl really wanted to shoot someone. Hearing this, he looked disappointed.
"Fine…"
But the disappointment didn't last long.
After all, he had a brand-new paintball gun.
"Oh, right—this gun's mine now, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Hehe, thanks! How about this—late tonight, when Fiona's asleep, you come to my place. I'll open the door, take you to her room… and then you can, you know—hehehe."
Dexter: "???????"
No wonder they call him Carl. Absolute menace.
"Carl, when you get home tonight, go repeat that exact sentence to Fiona," Dexter said with a wicked grin.
"She'll definitely reward you."
Carl shot him a look that clearly said do you think I'm an idiot?
"You think I'm stupid?"
"Haha, smart kid. Alright, let's get burgers," Dexter laughed.
There was a burger joint right on the street.
They ate something simple, had a drink, then headed toward North Wallace Street.
That area had plenty of open space.
Technically, there was a big empty lot right next to the Gallagher house.
But Carl refused to go there.
"Fiona would definitely come out and yell. Super annoying."
Dexter agreed.
In the end, they found a spot under the elevated light-rail tracks.
Once there—
Dexter quickly unloaded everything from his backpack.
"Carl, all of this is for you."
Carl had been dying to load up and start shooting, but when he heard that, he froze. His eyes went wide.
"Seriously?"
Dexter smiled and nodded.
"Dead serious."
"Cool!" Carl was ecstatic. He squatted down and started inspecting everything.
"Dexter, from now on, you're my brother! You gave me all this—I gotta repay you! How about this: I'll slip Fiona some pills, real sneaky, and then you can—hehehe…"
"Don't worry, Fiona's been with tons of guys. She won't care!"
He brought it up again—and sounded dead serious.
What could Dexter even say?
Nothing.
He decided he'd bring it up to Fiona later as a "joke" and let Carl experience her wrath firsthand.
Before long—
Carl had changed into camo, put on the helmet and goggles, and raised the paintball gun.
Honestly, between the outfit and Carl's personality…
Tiny terrorist, Dexter thought.
It was winter.
The sun set early.
By now, it was almost completely dark.
Under the light-rail tracks, it was even darker.
Staring into the darkness, fully geared up, Carl's eyes lit up.
"Let's set up an ambush and shoot people."
"Shooting people with this is boring," Dexter said after a moment's thought, deciding to educate him.
"You need a real gun for that."
Carl's eyes immediately lit up.
"I know! My dad got shot just the other night! You can get a real gun?"
I'm the one who shot your dad, Dexter thought.
Out loud, he said, "Nope."
Carl: "????? Then why the hell did you bring it up?"
Bold kid.
"When you're older, you can get one yourself," Dexter said casually.
"Absolutely! What kind of man doesn't have a gun?" Carl said firmly.
"Alright, enough talking. Are we shooting people or not?"
"No. You can do that on your own later. If I'm with you and we pull that kind of crap, your sister will murder me. Got it?"
Carl thought for a second, then nodded with a wicked grin.
"Got it. If that happens, you won't get Fiona. Alright—we're brothers. I won't ruin your chances. Let's just practice for now. Later, I'll go shoot people by myself."
Dexter gave him a thumbs-up.
"That's the spirit."
And so—
After two hours of shooting everything in sight—
Dexter walked Carl home.
---
At the Gallagher house, Carl opened the door and said grandly,
"Welcome! Make yourself at home."
Fiona, Debbie, Lip, Ian, Frank, and Liam were all sitting on the couch watching TV.
Hearing Carl's voice, everyone except Frank turned their heads. When they saw what Carl was wearing, they were shocked.
"Carl, what are you wearing—" Fiona said, jumping up.
Carl reacted instantly. He raised the paintball gun and aimed it at her.
"Hehehe! Cool, right?"
As the words left his mouth, he pulled the trigger—
Dexter had already predicted this. He immediately shoved the barrel aside.
"Carl, are you trying to get me killed?"
Even though the gun was knocked off target, Carl still fired.
Splatter.
A bright paint mark appeared on the fridge.
"!!!!"
Fiona's face changed instantly. She charged at Carl, yelling,
"Carl! Put the paintball gun down! No playing with that inside the house!"
Carl bolted.
The Gallagher house turned into a full-on chase scene.
Right then—
Lip spoke up and asked Dexter,
"Dexter, right? You can't find people your own age to hang out with, so you like playing with kids?"
By itself, the question wasn't that bad.
The problem was Lip's tone.
What he really meant was: Dexter, are you a creep?
Dexter smiled faintly at Lip.
You really know how to talk, he thought.
Wonder if you'd still be this smooth after someone sews your mouth shut.