As the fire sank into coals, the two girls ended up sitting with their backs to each other, both embarrassed by what had just happened moments ago.
Han Suyin wiped at her eyes more times than she could count, making sure not a trace remained, but the warmth in her face refused to go away. She had never cried like that before, not in front of anyone, let alone with someone she had just met.
Silence stretched. The longer it lasted, the more awkward it became.
Han Suyin finally broke it.
"You don't look like someone who just realized she's been crippled." Although Yue Rin wasn't technically 'crippled', her situation wasn't much better.
A low, tired sound slipped out of Yue Rin. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. It's more like… it is what it is. I can't change it, so why let it eat me alive?"
There was truth in it. Yue Rin did feel a dull ache of sadness, like a thread had been cut somewhere deep inside her. Yet beneath that, something else lingered, almost peaceful. Before, there had always been a nagging weight on her shoulders whispering stronger, stronger, even stronger, until it drowned out everything else.
Now that voice had gone quiet.
Han Suyin's fingers paused over the dying fire, asking curiously. "Why did your Qi turn that turbulent?"
Yue Rin didn't hide it. She told her about the feather, how it appeared in her bag, and what happened when she tried feeding it her Qi.
Han Suyin turned slightly, brow tightening. "I can't be certain, but it doesn't sound like it was meant to hurt you."
Yue Rin turned too, meeting her eyes. "That's what I thought too. But look at me now. I'm no different than a cripple. Aside from slight pain, I don't feel anything else."
Han Suyin's gaze lowered, thoughtful. "Maybe it was too much for your current body to bear."
Yue Rin tilted her head. "Maybe."
The answer went nowhere. Han Suyin tried a different path. "Do you know where the feather came from?"
"It just appeared in my bag."
A chop landed on Yue Rin's head.
"Ow!" Yue Rin grabbed it, wincing.
"So you found something you suspected was not ordinary and, instead of waiting or investigating, you poured Qi into it immediately?" The irritation in Han Suyin's voice was quiet, but it cut.
Yue Rin's ears went hot and she lowered her gaze.
Han Suyin forced the irritation down, and leaned forward. "Retrace your steps. From the start of the realm. Try to remember anything you touched, anything strange, anything that might be connected to it."
Yue Rin slowly began to recount everything. When she reached the part about the shrine, Han Suyin cut her off.
"Stop."
Yue Rin blinked. "What?"
"The shrine."
Yue Rin frowned, confused. "The girl didn't have time to slip anything into my bag, I didn't even…"
Two fingers flicked Yue Rin's forehead. "Not the girl."
Yue Rin hissed and rubbed the spot, glaring.
Han Suyin looked at her like she was beyond saving. "The statue. The woman with wings."
Yue Rin hesitated, still not connecting it.
Han Suyin let out a low, exasperated sound. "What are wings made of?"
Yue Rin went still.
Then her eyes widened. "Feathers…"
Han Suyin nodded once, satisfied she'd finally dragged Yue Rin to the obvious conclusion. "I don't know how it happened or why, but that statue, especially when you said that a presence descended, is the closest link you've got. If we want answers, we need to start from there."
"But you're walking around like a mortal right now. This realm is dangerous enough for healthy cultivators. For you, it's worse. If you want to leave instead, you can crush your token and be done with it."
Yue Rin fell quiet.
Han Suyin watched her face for any signs of her pretending to be okay. But found none.
"Why are you going this far for me?"
Han Suyien scoffed. "Didn't I already tell you"
"You did, but that was only for last day, why continue helping me?"
The question landed harder than Yue Rin seemed to realize.
Han Suyin opened her mouth, then closed it.
Because… Because... why?
Maybe because Yue Rin was the first person in years who spoke to her like she was just a girl. Maybe because it helped fill the wound of not being able to do anything that day.
Yet none of those answers came out.
Instead, Han Suyin stared at Yue Rin for a long moment, cold and flat, as if Yue Rin had just tried to ask what color the sky was.
Yue Rin shifted, uneasy. "What?"
The silence stretched one breath longer.
Then Han Suyin sighed through her nose, clearly done. "Stop asking questions that make my head hurt, instead, you should think of your next steps."
She rose and walked to a nearby tree, settling into a meditative posture with her back straight and her hands resting in her lap. Her eyes closed, and she shut Yue Rin out as neatly as closing a door.
Yue Rin stared at her, baffled. So much for a normal question. Apparently it wasn't.
With a quiet sigh, she decided not to provoke her further. She turned to her backpack, which looked like it had been stomped on a hundred times. Her sword lay beside it, surprisingly intact, even though it was just a slightly sturdier iron blade. Nothing special. And her belt, due to being ripped off, was no longer wearable.
She opened the bag and began checking what remained.
A fire starter.
An entry token.
A bag of biscuits, half gritty with dirt.
A second waterskin, ripped open with a tear along the side.
The cake box, dented and scraped. Inside, only two slices remained. One was smeared with dirt, and the other had a bite taken out of it.
A few pills she didn't bother inspecting. Right now they were useless.
Her smoke pearl, somehow still whole.
Three talismans, two shields and a Light Step. Also useless.
Digging deeper, her fingers didn't find her spirit herb box.
Yue Rin's pockets trembled. She mourned what it could have sold for. A pile of spirit stones she would never see.
When she finally stopped rummaging, she glanced toward the riverbank.
The snow-covered ground from last night was gone. Only normal earth and water remained, as if winter had never touched this place. If not for the pale corpses scattered around, frozen in twisted positions, and the cultivators moving between them like carrion birds, stripping everything down to clothes and belts, Yue Rin might have doubted Han Suyin's story.
That talisman… it was terrifying.
Stronger than the fiery swords one, probably. It didn't feel like something casually given.
Yue Rin didn't ask about it. She didn't want to risk touching another wound.
Grabbing her backpack, she scooted closer to Han Suyin's tree and leaned back against it too, careful with her posture. Her cloak was torn to rags in places, and the hood was split so badly it couldn't be used anymore.
No more hiding.
The thought should have made her nervous. Instead, Yue Rin did something she'd wanted to do for far too long.
She reached beneath her torn layers and pulled off her chest binder, stuffing it into her backpack in case she ever needed it again.
For the first time in so long, her chest can breath.
Yue Rin let out a slow breath and relaxed, almost completely.
If her meridians weren't constantly aching, this would have been perfect. But it reminded her of what Han Suyin's had just said.
Finding a feather right after visiting a shrine with a winged statue was too much to dismiss. In a cultivation world, coincidences didn't come without a cause.
Still… Yue Rin's mouth twisted.
She remembered searching the shrine and hadn't found anything worth remembering.
Plus she had already planned to settle down after leaving the secret realm. Live quietly. Maybe work beside A-Ling.
Remembering the face she hadn't seen in a long time made her thoughts turn. Would A-Ling blame herself? Would she cry and say it was her fault for giving Yue Rin the token, for sending her into this realm at all?
Yue Rin didn't want to see that face crumple.
And Han Suyin had offered to escort her, even if she refused to explain why.
So what was Yue Rin doing, hesitating like a coward?
She decided.
They would go back to the shrine.
Maybe they would find something she missed. Maybe they wouldn't. Either way, she didn't want to spend the rest of her life thinking, what if?
A loud voice suddenly cut through her thoughts.
"Is everyone here?"
Yue Rin looked over without thinking.
Pei Jinglan stood at the front of his group, posture straight and expression cold. A pale corpse lay at his feet with a rope cinched around its waist, the other end secured to a tree trunk.
His gaze flicked toward Han Suyien's direction, once, then again, too quick to be obvious.