Cherreads

Chapter 21 - Chapter 021: Please Be My Hero

A girl's hair is softer than you'd imagine.

Maybe because she'd just showered, it even felt slightly cool to the touch.

Using his fingers like a makeshift comb, he scooped up a handful of fluffy pink hair and slowly ran his hand downward. Dampness clung to his fingertips, and what slid between them was hair as soft and delicate as a cloud.

Every so often he'd run into small stubborn knots where strands had tangled together. If he forced it, it would probably hurt her.

So he had to be precise—like picking a lock with wire, or adjusting a finicky mixing valve—carefully loosening the tangles first, and then drying it bit by bit with the hair dryer set to medium heat and medium airflow—

…Yeah.

I totally have the talent to be a stylist.

First time doing this and my aptitude's already showing. Given time, I'll definitely become one of Tokyo's top hair masters…

But stylists have to chat with customers all the time, don't they?

N-nope. Never mind.

Gotoh Doku kept thinking pointless thoughts while holding the hair dryer in his right hand and gently supporting a thick bundle of her long hair with his left, drying the damp strands as Bocchi sat on a chair.

A mirror stood in front of them, clearly reflecting their current 모습—yet neither of them dared to raise their eyes to look at it.

One of them had her head lowered completely, small hands clenched into tight fists like she was sitting at attention, arms straight and braced on her knees. You couldn't see her expression, and you couldn't guess what she was thinking.

The other had spent a full ten minutes fighting a fierce internal battle before starting, and had even panic-scrolled the internet for tutorials like "How to dry a girl's hair". Now he was doing his best to maintain a pure, empty-minded calm while he worked.

The two of them were like silent wooden puppets—ever since the hair drying started, neither of them had moved their lips even once.

The only sounds in the small bedroom were the constant traffic from below… and the hair dryer's steady hum, the wind loud enough to fill the space but not harsh.

Gotoh Doku knew perfectly well how awkward the atmosphere was.

They were both socially anxious to the bone, with an instinct carved into their souls: keep distance from others, watch your boundaries, be careful at all times.

And yet here they were, doing something neither of them should reasonably be able to do without dying of embarrassment.

Whether you were the one drying the hair or the one having it dried… you'd feel shy either way.

But once they'd started, there was no turning back.

No matter how embarrassed he was, no matter how much his face wanted to combust, he had to dry Bocchi's hair properly.

That said…

Bocchi's hair was insanely thick.

If it were only thick, fine—he'd just dry it longer.

The problem was it was thick and extremely long—like she'd never been to a salon in her life.

Ah. Come to think of it…

When I first started high school, I couldn't go into barbershops either… just like Dad. Bangs so thick you couldn't see my face.

…Not that I'm much braver now. Usually I just stand in front of the mirror and trim it myself with scissors. If Bocchi doesn't mind later… maybe I should just trim her hair too.

Otherwise, at this rate, she's going to become Rapunzel someday.

Now he finally understood why Bocchi cared so much about the electricity bill.

At this length and thickness, it would take another twenty minutes or so to get it fully dry. You could practically see her future electricity usage.

He didn't mind. He worked all the time—this much wouldn't tire him out. Besides, Bocchi's hair felt so nice… he could honestly do this for an hour.

But Bocchi looked unbelievably tense.

Her back was straighter than a student who'd just been called on in class and froze in terror, and her head stayed lowered the entire time…

She must be embarrassed about someone else drying her hair.

Or maybe she felt like she was bothering him but didn't dare say it…

Gotoh Doku lifted his gaze, trying to look at Bocchi through the mirror.

The girl—barely over 150 cm—sat primly on the stool with her legs pressed tightly together. She didn't lean against the chair back at all, forcing herself to sit up straight.

She looked like a student studying for dear life before exams to avoid her parents' "double-team beating"…

or like a fresh graduate being silently judged by several grim-faced interviewers…

It was heartbreaking.

"…Um, Bocchi."

In the end, he couldn't stand seeing her like that, so he tried to talk to her.

But the moment he spoke, he realized he had absolutely no idea what to say. To avoid awkwardness, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Bocchi's hair… it's really beautiful. Yeah, um—really beautiful. Really smooth, and… it feels really nice to touch!"

No no no.

What do you mean "feels nice to touch"?!

Gotoh Doku sank into despair at his outdated language system and tried to imagine what he'd do if he were someone like Kita-san—an ultra-extrovert who only appears once in a millennium.

But he gave up almost immediately.

Kita-san's "Kita Beam" was way too overpowered. Even he couldn't survive three moves against it, let alone Bocchi, who was still inexperienced and hadn't yet faced the terror of a true super extrovert.

"…I-it's not like that…"

Bocchi shifted slightly, somehow looking even more nervous.

"It's because… the conditioner Gotoh-san bought is really good… so that's why… it's smooth…"

Gotoh Doku's pupils trembled violently.

Bocchi heard a compliment and didn't get embarrassed…?!

That wasn't Bocchi at all!

Normally, if you praised her even once, she'd be happy for ages. But now she showed no sign of joy—if anything, she looked more downcast…

D-did I dry her hair so badly…?

Did I make her suffer…?

Gotoh Doku fell into deep self-doubt.

But then he thought: if she truly felt uncomfortable, Bocchi would've gradually collapsed into her "wild snake chair" form and melted into a puddle, disappearing from the stool.

Instead, she stayed tense—like something heavy was weighing on her shoulders.

Gotoh Doku lowered his eyes and thought back carefully.

After Bocchi came out of the shower, she'd been normal—embarrassed, flustered, even using exclamation-mark energy.

But the moment she heard him say he'd picked up another job, her expression started changing.

…Was it really because I casually mentioned work?

He tried to think from Bocchi's perspective, and the possibility felt uncomfortably high.

When he was younger, he was terrified of working—he would've rather stayed a NEET forever than go out and deal with people. Later, once he realized part-time work wasn't as brutal as being in a band, he gradually accepted this corporate-drone life.

But Bocchi hadn't gone through setbacks the way he had.

For a younger Bocchi, whose understanding of society came almost entirely from imagination, "work" was an abstract concept. She only knew it was exhausting and something she never wanted to face—without understanding the specifics.

So she'd imagine things that wouldn't happen, exaggerate them in her head… and then believe them.

That was why, when she learned he'd taken a second job—especially because it was for her—she felt crushing guilt, enough to drown out everything else.

She probably already felt indebted to him.

Like she was receiving care for free.

Eating his food, using his things, living in his home—shampoo, body wash, even spare clothes… all provided by him.

Each one, alone, was trivial.

But together, they condensed into a guilt she couldn't ignore.

So intense she couldn't accept his kindness without feeling uneasy.

And now, hearing he'd taken on even more burdens for her, she became even more convinced she was just dead weight who kept causing him trouble—

The more kindly she was treated…

…the more she felt sorry.

Not knowing what value she could offer, she desperately tried to find something—anything—she could do.

And after wracking her brain, the best she could come up with was: "Please let me dry your hair too." Something small, maybe even something she'd fail at.

So that's why you look so miserable, Bocchi.

Gotoh Doku silently watched Bocchi with her head bowed, as if she were crying without sound.

The embarrassment and tension he'd felt earlier gradually faded, replaced by a quiet, heavy exhale from deep inside.

"Bocchi."

He took out his phone, opened his chat with Kita, and found the photo Kita had sent.

Then he turned off the hair dryer and set it aside, crouching beside Bocchi and trying to look into the eyes she'd been hiding.

"I want to show you something. Is that okay?"

Bocchi didn't expect him to suddenly crouch beside her and panicked, but when she met Gotoh Doku's eyes—eyes that somehow calmed her—she nodded.

"Thanks, Bocchi."

Gotoh Doku gave a shy little smile and awkwardly handed her his phone.

Bocchi took it and looked.

On the screen was a photo.

A very pretty girl, smiling brightly… standing close beside Gotoh Doku.

"…I-I feel like some kind of terrifying light is coming out…"

Bocchi stared at the girl on the phone, swearing she could see dazzling, multicolored light radiating from her, and reflexively covered her eyes.

"…That's what I thought the first time I saw her too."

Compared to Bocchi's sudden critical hit, Gotoh Doku looked far calmer.

After all, it was only the weakened "phone version" of Kita Beam—less than one-tenth of the real thing.

"Do you think this girl is pretty?" Gotoh Doku asked.

"...She's… very pretty."

Bocchi suddenly fell silent for a long time. Then, like her brain had crashed, she answered in a robotic tone.

"Um… she and Gotoh-san… look really good together… I… I'll try to make sekihan sometime…"

"Eh?"

Gotoh Doku blinked blankly.

A few seconds later, he finally realized what Bocchi meant.

His previously steady emotions cracked wide open, and his voice instantly went chaotic.

"I-I'm not saying that!!"

"Um… Bocchi, it's not like that! This girl is Kita Ikuyo. I usually call her Kita-san. She's my student, and also my… uh, boss?"

Honestly, Gotoh Doku wasn't sure what his relationship with Kita even was anymore, but he pushed on anyway.

"Anyway… Kita-san is learning guitar from me. The reason I went out with my guitar case today was to teach her. In other words, she's my second job. It's really not what you think… really not…"

He flailed through explanations, only to find Bocchi had apparently entered a state of complete mental collapse. She was slumped against the chair back, eyes unfocused, hair sticking out in a few messy spikes.

Judging by her condition, she'd definitely spiraled into some intense romantic fantasy…

Guh.

I was too reckless.

I only wanted to show her cheerful, warm, sunshine-like Kita-san, so Bocchi would understand that my second job isn't some unbearable suffering—so she wouldn't feel guilty.

But I pushed too hard and scared Bocchi instead, making her even more tense…

She's definitely imagining me being with Kita-san right now. No doubt about it.

That expression—it was the limited-edition "meltdown mode" that only shows up after romantic shock or campus youth elements…

Gotoh Doku narrated internally while Bocchi looked like her soul had started crawling out of her mouth, sliding into an even more severe "cyber-psychosis" state. He panicked, stood up, and immediately shoved the suspicious "soul" back into her mouth.

It worked.

Miraculously effective.

Bocchi quickly recovered from her collapsed state.

She looked at Gotoh Doku, who was drenched in sweat and breathing out in relief, and then remembered the gap in her memory. Instantly, she understood that she must've fainted and scared him again—adding yet another burden.

"…I-I-I-I-I'm s-so so so so so sorry, Gotoh-san…! You can kill me or punish me however you want, just please forgive me…!"

And with that—

Bocchi trembled and lay down on the floor, tears shimmering at the corners of her eyes, posing like a dog exposing its belly when its owner reaches out to pet it.

"…Bocchi, it's okay… j-just calm down…"

Gotoh Doku covered his face almost immediately.

It was hard to describe the complicated feeling of seeing "another version of himself" do something that embarrassing.

He could only close his eyes, fumble at the air for a while, and finally catch Bocchi's wrist. He gently helped her sit back on the chair, then—face burning—picked up the hair dryer again and resumed drying her hair.

They fell back into silence.

But maybe because of that little incident, the atmosphere didn't feel as stiff and suffocating as before.

Gotoh Doku could tell: Bocchi wasn't as tightly wound anymore.

"Bocchi," he spoke again. "About what happened just now… I'm sorry."

"G-G-G-Gotoh-san, you don't need to apologize! I'm the one who should—!"

As expected, the sudden apology startled her.

Gotoh Doku hurried to explain.

"No, no. Bocchi, you don't need to apologize either… If anything, we're both the type who uses 'sorry' as an opening line before we talk, so… let's just forgive each other, okay?"

"Ah… o-okay…"

"Thanks, Bocchi." Gotoh Doku smiled a little. "What I actually wanted to tell you earlier was… the job I found isn't that exhausting."

"It's just teaching guitar. I'm good at it. And my student, Kita-san, has an incredibly nice personality. When I'm with her, I feel happy… Honestly, compared to work, it feels more like I'm enjoying a dream."

"So you don't have to feel indebted or guilty. If you hadn't appeared, I wouldn't have met Kita-san at all. I'd just come home and lie on my bed scrolling my phone alone… no one to talk to, no one to cook for me…"

"It would be lonely. It would be quiet."

"If you weren't here, I'd still be alone, just like before—nothing would have changed."

"So… it's not that you've become a burden. It's that you've changed my life. That's the right way to say it."

Bocchi blinked in a daze.

She hadn't expected him to call out all the worries she'd been letting ferment inside her—one by one—and answer them with such a gentle voice.

To be honest, she never really understood what he meant when he said they were "another version of each other."

But now… she felt like she understood a little.

Because he was another "her," he knew what she was thinking.

Because he was another "her," he was willing to do so much for her.

And yet…

Why was it always you who understood me…

when I never seem to understand you even once?

Why is it always you helping me, arranging everything for me so carefully…

while I can't seem to help you with anything at all—only watching you run around for my sake…

Bocchi lowered her head. Instead of feeling relieved by his comfort, her heart somehow grew heavier.

What Gotoh Doku had done for her had already far exceeded anything she'd imagined. His care was meticulous, overflowing into every corner of daily life—so much that it exceeded the limit of what she felt she was allowed to accept.

She wanted to do something for him too.

That was why she'd offered to cook, and why she cleaned when he wasn't home.

But she realized her cooking was only "edible"—not delicious. Just bland, watery food.

Her cleaning wasn't great either. She'd never done it before and had no experience. Sometimes Gotoh Doku still had to redo things after coming home from work.

And now even something as basic as drying her hair was something he had to do for her.

Worse, he'd seen right through her feelings and had to comfort her again.

The more Bocchi thought about it, the worse it felt. The blue of her eyes blurred with rising tears.

Compared to what he did for her…

What she did for him was tiny. Almost nothing.

She wanted to help him someday, the way he helped her.

She wanted to comfort him someday, the way he comforted her.

But what could she do for him?

And when she remembered the guitar case—something she'd never seen until recently, something he'd only just pulled out again—she knew this was her only chance to finally say what she'd been holding back.

She took a deep breath.

"…Then… what about the guitar…?"

Gotoh Doku froze.

"You said… work isn't as hard as I imagined… but… the guitar… is the guitar the same?"

Bocchi kept her head down.

Her voice was small—just loud enough not to be swallowed by the hair dryer's wind—but it hit his ears like thunder.

"Ever since I came here… I haven't seen you touch your guitar even once… At first I thought… you're an adult now, and adult me… maybe I outgrew childish things, so I put it away… but it doesn't seem like that…"

"I… I used the phone you gave me and secretly searched the Guitar Hero account… I found that up until half a year ago, you were still uploading videos… Half a year ago should be around graduation. With that many followers now, if you kept going… it should've been possible to make money from it…"

"But… you didn't choose that. You chose to bury yourself in work…"

"And I don't think I would do that… because I really, really fear interacting with people… and Gotoh-san must be the same as me… so something must've happened—something that made you not want to be Guitar Hero anymore…"

The hair dryer kept blowing.

Her beautiful strands danced lightly in his palm.

And Bocchi had forgotten entirely that someone was still drying her hair.

She was using all her strength to hold back the sting in her nose, the mist in her eyes.

But then she realized—somewhere along the way—her voice had become choked with tears.

"I don't know what happened… but it must've been something serious. Serious enough that Guitar Hero put down the guitar… serious enough that Gotoh-san moved out alone, worked early and late every day, becoming an adult that… past you—that I—would feel disappointed in…"

The moment that thought rose—

A huge tear slid down her cheek and fell onto the back of her hand.

"I didn't dare ask you… I planned not to ask… to pretend I knew nothing… because I was afraid to face it, and even more afraid that bringing it up would make you sad…"

"You're exhausted every day when you come home… I really don't want to cause you any trouble…"

"But you still brought the guitar back out… to earn more money… to take care of me… you picked it up again…"

Bocchi's fingers tightened, gripping her pants hard.

"Didn't you say… we're the same…?"

"If it were me, I could never face something I failed at… I'd be scared, I'd run away, I'd lose consciousness, I'd throw up… Just remembering being hurt before, just thinking about people's eyes on me—I'd start shaking…"

"But Gotoh-san… you still faced it…"

"I can't even imagine… how much courage that takes… how much resolve…"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… really… I'm so sorry. If I hadn't appeared, you wouldn't have to face any of this… If I weren't here, you could've had it easier… I'm the one who keeps causing you trouble. I'm the one who keeps making you think and worry about how to take care of me…"

"Even though you've told me so, so many things… I still couldn't become a good kid who makes you feel at ease… I couldn't even do the little things I should be able to do… I'm so useless, such a failure… Someone like me, with no value, really—"

Before she could finish—

Bocchi felt someone take her hand.

A palm much larger than hers.

Warm. Strong.

Like if he curled his fingers—

he could wrap her whole hand inside his.

"…Bocchi isn't someone with no value."

Gotoh Doku was half-kneeling beside her.

With one hand, he gently covered her trembling palm.

With the other—formerly holding the dryer—he took a few tissues, hesitated near her eyes for a long moment, and only after confirming she wouldn't dislike it, lightly wiped away her tears.

"Bocchi is pretty. Bocchi is cute. Every day when I go to work and see you still asleep with your head buried under the blanket, I feel better."

"Every time I come home from work and see you running around making dinner for me, I feel warm. I feel safe."

"How could someone like that be worthless?"

"But I…" Bocchi's eyes were almost entirely red.

"At most, I just did some housework, right…?"

Gotoh Doku had already guessed what she wanted to say.

Looking into those adorable eyes full of tears, he tried his best to wear a gentle smile.

"But isn't it amazing that you can do those things neatly at all?"

"When I was fifteen, I still needed my mom to help me with eating, drinking, using the bathroom—basically a complete useless person."

"G-Gotoh-san isn't useless…!" Bocchi blurted out.

"Then Bocchi isn't a bad kid either."

Gotoh Doku pulled his hand back from wiping her tears.

"The reason you're suffering isn't because you don't have ability. It's because you're delicate-hearted—because you're kind, because you think of other people first… so you feel guilty about your situation."

"The bigger that guilt is… the more it proves that Bocchi is a really, really good kid."

Bocchi's whole face flushed hot from being praised.

She'd already been burning from crying earlier, and now it felt like her temperature was going to skyrocket like a kettle about to boil.

"I'm not lying to you. Really."

"Very few people can do what you've done. Even when you were suddenly thrown into a completely unfamiliar environment, you stayed mentally stable. Even when someone helped you out of kindness, you didn't treat it like something they owed you—you tried desperately to repay them."

"Just not being defeated by life… makes you a hero already."

"So, Bocchi, lift your head and look at me with pride."

Gotoh Doku said it sincerely.

"You're Guitar Hero."

"Eh…?"

Bocchi sniffled hard. "M-me…?"

"Yeah. Bocchi knows the Guitar Hero account, which means you must have done video content like I did."

"In other words, Bocchi also ran the Guitar Hero account. If that's true, then doesn't that mean Guitar Hero can be considered Bocchi too?"

Bocchi's brain couldn't keep up. Her head was empty.

But hearing him say that, she nodded blankly.

"So I've decided. After hearing what's in your heart…"

"I've decided to hand the Guitar Hero videos over to you."

"Because that account belongs to both of us. Even across different worlds… it still exists."

Gotoh Doku exhaled.

He pressed down the pounding heartbeat in his chest.

Without showing it, he bit his tongue again to stay clear-headed, and continued.

"From now on, Bocchi can earn money through the Guitar Hero account. All the income from it will be yours."

"If you have your own money, you won't feel like you can't do anything."

"Anyway, my old videos never showed my face. If you just tie your hair up and pay attention to the filming angle, you won't have to worry too much about getting found out."

"W-wait… Gotoh-san, you can't…!"

Bocchi finally understood what he meant and hurriedly shook her head.

"Why not?"

"T-this is your account…! How could I—"

"But it's yours too, Bocchi."

My Guitar Hero doesn't have a hundred thousand followers!!

Bocchi's face returned to the familiar "609" expression. That number was far too unreal to her.

And more importantly—

"This is the account you worked so hard on for so many years. How can you just… give it to someone else…"

"But Bocchi isn't 'someone else.'"

Gotoh Doku stood up again—

and immediately got hit by low blood sugar.

But to maintain his "mature adult" form, he forced himself to act like nothing happened, picked up the hair dryer again, and continued drying Bocchi's hair.

"Um, Bocchi… I'm going to say something kind of cringe, okay?"

"Ahem… heroes need heroes to save them too."

"Like you worried… yeah. In the past, I really did go through a lot of things because of the guitar. Things I don't want to remember. And yeah… I had to fight myself hard to pick it up again."

Bocchi blinked again.

"To say I'm scared… I am. To say it hurts… it does."

"But because I wanted to be a good example in front of you, I didn't dare show it."

"Actually, I'm a very cowardly person. I need someone's support and encouragement… to gather the courage to keep moving forward."

Slowly, Bocchi lifted her gaze.

For the first time, she saw herself in the mirror.

And behind her, Gotoh Doku stood calmly drying her hair—

and if she looked closely, she could see: his hand was trembling slightly too.

It was just that she'd cried too hard earlier…

so she hadn't noticed.

"Before I met you, Bocchi, I was living my life in a daze."

"Then you appeared in front of me, and my unchanging life finally started to shift."

"I don't know if that change is good or bad. I don't know where the future will lead."

"To be honest… I'm just an ordinary person."

"I don't have any earth-shaking wishes. I don't have a lifelong dream."

"If I have one hope at all… it's probably this—"

"When I'm lost… when I'm in pain… when I'm hesitating… when I'm stuck and can't move forward…"

"I just want someone to be beside me… and gently push me once."

Just a little courage is enough.

Sometimes, it's only a tiny bit of courage…

that turns you into an adult different from the person you used to be.

That truth…

I only understand it now.

Not because of anyone else.

But because of you, Bocchi.

You taught me that.

You turned me into someone who can help others.

So—

"So…"

Gotoh Doku lifted his eyes too.

In that bright mirror—

their gazes met.

"If you don't mind… then please be my Guitar Hero."

Thump.

Thump.

Bocchi's lips parted and closed softly.

She heard her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

Everything else turned to silence.

This wasn't something new.

She'd experienced this kind of thing countless times since she was little.

But this time, it wasn't because she was nervous.

It was because—

At the moment she was most afraid of being a burden, most afraid of being hated…

Someone looked at her and said:

I need you.

Please be my hero.

-------

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