The heavy soundproof door of Practice Room A clicked shut, sealing the "Monster Unit" into a world of gothic ambition and scientific precision. Outside, the Consortium's legal team was likely having a collective migraine over the "Rainfall Addendum," but inside, the air smelled of floor wax and the faint, medicinal scent of the throat spray Hyun Woo was still obsessively using. Min-soo stood in the center of the room, staring at the sheet music for 'Vampire's Requiem' as if it were a bomb he didn't know how to defuse. The "Nation's Center" was used to powerful synths and sharp, rhythmic pops; he was not used to a chorus that demanded a transition from a gritty chest voice to a haunting, operatic falsetto while pretending to be an immortal grieving over a lost era.
"Hyung," Min-soo said, his voice cracking slightly on a high C. "I'm a dancer. My lungs are for cardio, not for... whatever this theatrical haunting is."
Kang-joon, who was currently busy marking the floor with various colors of electrical tape to denote the rotating stage's trajectory, didn't look up. "Your lungs are a bellows system, Min-soo-ssi. You aren't struggling with the note; you're struggling with the diaphragmatic compression required to sustain it under the simulated weight of wet clothing." He stood up, wiping his hands on a towel. "In Loop—I mean, in my research, I've found that the 'wet idol' aesthetic is 80% physics. Water adds approximately 1.5 to 2 kilograms of dead weight to your costume. We aren't just practicing a song; we are practicing hydro-dynamic resistance training."
He gestured to a corner of the room where six heavy-duty humidifiers were already pumping out a thick mist. "Do-yoon, you have the 'Pathos' role. I need you to sing the bridge while standing directly in front of the humidifier. If you can maintain your pitch in 90% humidity, the actual rainfall will feel like a light breeze. Jae-hyun, you're the 'Vampire's Heart.' Your job is to catch Min-soo during the three-man fall without slipping on the 'blood'—which, for rehearsal purposes, is this specific non-slip red tinted grip-gel I formulated."
"You formulated... grip-gel?" Jae-hyun asked, poking the red substance with a curious finger. "Is it edible? It smells like strawberries."
"It is non-toxic and strawberry-scented to reduce the cortisol response of the performers," Kang-joon said, completely serious. "A happy vampire is a stable vampire."
As the day progressed, the "Monster Unit" entered what the staff began calling the "Professor's Laboratory." While the other units were doing standard "1-2-3-4" dance counts, Kang-joon's team was undergoing a "Wholesome Vampire Immersion" program. To keep the mood from getting too dark, Kang-joon had mandated that they eat only "red-themed" healthy foods to get into character. This led to a comedic scene during the lunch break where the Top 18 were gathered in the cafeteria.
Min-soo's team sat huddled around a bowl of beet salad, pomegranate seeds, and cherry tomatoes, looking incredibly intense while the "Supernova" team nearby was happily munching on bright yellow curry.
"I feel like I'm in a Twilight parody," Hyun Woo muttered, stabbing a cherry tomato with a toothpick. "But my skin has never looked better. Is this part of the plan too, Hyung?"
Kang-joon nodded, sipping on a cup of hibiscus tea. "Antioxidants reduce inflammation. If we're going to be drenched in cold water for the performance, we need our immune systems at peak performance. Also, the red staining on your lips from the berries acts as a natural, long-wear tint that won't wash off during the 'Rainfall' sequence."
The PDs, sensing a viral moment, had sent in a cameraman for a "Behind-the-Scenes" vlog. "So, Kang-joon-ssi," the PD asked, leaning in with the mic. "The fans are calling this the 'Vampire Diet.' Any tips for the viewers?"
Kang-joon looked directly into the camera, his expression as dry as a desert. "Chew slowly. The digestive process begins in the mouth. And if you're going to live forever, you might as well have good digestion. Also, Glow-Up Vitamin Water goes excellent with iron-rich foods."
The "Professor" had just integrated a sponsor shout-out so smoothly the PD almost missed it.
By that evening, the internet was flooded with "Monster Unit" content. The fans were obsessing over the "Vampire Diet" and the leaked clips of the team practicing in the "Fog Room."
[STANOIDOL FORUM: THE MONSTER UNIT MEGATHREAD]
@VampireStan: Did you see the clip? Kang-joon is literally measuring the angle of Min-soo's arm during the 'Bite' choreography with a protractor. A PROTRACTOR. #ProfessorKangjoon #VampirePhysics
@GothGirl99: The aesthetic is everything. They aren't just doing a 'dark' concept; they're doing a 'scientific' dark concept. Do-yoon's vocals in the mist sounded so ghostly. I'm literally crying.
@LogicAndIdols:
I calculated the center of gravity for that nine-man lift they did in the previous round using the formula:
And Kang-joon's positioning was mathematically perfect to redistribute the weight. He's doing the same for the 'Rainfall' stage. He's not a trainee; he's an engineer of human bodies.
@MemeLord: [Meme of Kang-joon holding a beet and looking at it like it's a philosophical text]
Caption: "When the concept is death but the nutrition is life."
While the fans were laughing and theorizing, the Consortium was making its move. In a sleek glass office, Ms. Chen was reviewing the technical rider for the "Rainfall" stage.
"The water system is scheduled to be installed tomorrow," her assistant reported. "But we've encountered a problem. The 'Glow-Up' sponsor has insisted that the water used in the sequence must be filtered through their proprietary 'Glow-Mineral' system. It's a logistical nightmare."
"That's not a problem, that's an opportunity," Ms. Chen said, her eyes narrowing. "If the system is 'logistically difficult,' it might 'accidentally' malfunction during the rehearsal. A small technical failure that leaves the stage too slick to perform. We can then cite 'Safety Concerns' to cancel the concept and force them into a standard stage."
Back at the dorm, the "Monster Unit" was exhausted but oddly bonded. Min-soo was currently helping Do-yoon with his high notes, while Jae-hyun was trying to teach Lee Hoon how to "look more undead."
Kang-joon was sitting at his laptop, but he wasn't looking at choreography. He was monitoring the studio's internal maintenance logs via a backdoor he'd established. He saw the "Technical Difficulty" flag raised by the Consortium's outsourced plumbers regarding the Glow-Mineral filters.
Predictable, Kang-joon thought. In Loop #61, a similar "water malfunction" had led to a stage collapse.
He didn't panic. Instead, he pulled out a small, portable water-testing kit he'd ordered through the Hourglass proxy. "Jae-hyun-ssi," Kang-joon called out.
"Yes, Professor?"
"Tomorrow morning, we're going to the studio two hours early. We aren't practicing dancing. We're practicing Plumbing."
"Plumbing, Hyung? Is that a new sub-unit name?"
"No," Kang-joon said, standing up and stretching his stiff neck. "It's how we ensure that when the rain starts, it doesn't stop until we've won."
He turned to the rest of the unit, who were now looking at him with the unwavering gaze of disciples. "The Consortium thinks they can use 'Safety' as a weapon. We are going to make this stage the safest, most technically perfect environment in the history of television. And then, we are going to make the audience forget to breathe."
Min-soo grinned, his earlier exhaustion replaced by the thrill of the hunt. "So, what's the first lesson, Professor?"
"Lesson one," Kang-joon said, opening a schematic of the studio's drainage system on the screen. "Never let a lawyer handle your water pressure."
The room erupted in laughter, the tension breaking under the weight of Kang-joon's absurd, absolute competence. They were a team of vampires, anchors, and strategists, and for the first time in any of Kang-joon's lives, the future didn't look like a death trap. It looked like a performance.