"Kiana, what the hell are you doing?!" As the two, each lost in their own thoughts, returned to the villa with Mei's groceries, Theresa's furious roar echoed from the second floor as soon as they pushed open the front door.
"Mei, here are today's ingredients," they said, setting down the groceries. Kyuusyou, intrigued, leaned over the staircase railing to peek at the second floor.
"What's Kiana up to now?" the purple-haired girl asked curiously.
"What else? She was sleeping through yesterday morning's Comprehensive Academic Assessment. If it weren't for the academy's regulations, Mr. Yang and I would have tossed her out of the exam hall... The only reason she got away with it was because the Headmaster was dragged into overtime by her deputy yesterday. Otherwise, she would have been done for."
"Sleeping... Then what about Kiana's test paper? She didn't submit a blank sheet, did she?" Mei asked anxiously.
"Not quite a blank paper... She did write something, but how many points she'll get is anyone's guess..."
"After all... within a week of starting classes, she'd already made a name for herself at St. Freya for skipping classes and sleeping through the ones she couldn't skip. But..."
"But?" Mei and Kyuusyou looked at Snow, puzzled.
"But there's still some good news..."
"What good news?" Mei asked, her voice laced with concern.
"At least our Miss Kiana hasn't earned any new strange nicknames..." Snow mused, recalling the rumors swirling among the students these past few days, and nodded.
"What kind of good news is that?!" Kyuusyou and Mei exclaimed in unison, pointing at the blonde girl and loudly complaining.
"Huh? For that goofball, not getting any new strange nicknames—isn't that good news?!"
"...Though I really want to argue with you, Snow, you do have a point," Mei conceded.
As the group bickered downstairs, a brown-haired man descended the stairs with a white-haired young girl in a nun's habit, dragging a human-shaped creature covered in lumps and bruises.
"Mr. Yang? What brings you here today?" Snow asked, her gaze curious as she looked at the middle-aged man with brown hair.
"Ah, Miss Snow... I'm here about Kiana Kaslana. Do you remember yesterday's Comprehensive Academic Assessment?" Mr. Yang nodded at Miss Snow and explained to the group.
"Oh, that? I was going to mention it to Theresa, but she got called in for overtime last night and didn't come back. You beat me to it, Mr. Yang. We were just discussing it downstairs." Snow nodded.
"Actually, there's more to it than just that. If it were simply about Kiana sleeping during the exam, I could have just asked you to pass the message along. I'm actually here for a home visit."
Mr. Yang smoothed out his slightly wrinkled suit. Dressed in formal attire, a stark contrast to his usual casual wear, it was clear he had come on official business.
"A home visit? Let me guess... Kiana's grades are already out?" Snow's expression lit up with interest, and the others turned their curious gazes toward him.
"That's right. The results of the Headmaster's Comprehensive Academic Assessment are now available. Bronya Zaychik and Raiden Mei secured second and third place, respectively. It's truly remarkable how quickly they've adapted to their new academic environment as transfer students." Mr. Yang praised Raiden Mei, glancing approvingly at her.
"You flatter me, Mr. Yang," Mei said, lowering her head slightly, embarrassed.
"Kyuusyou's performance is also excellent, ranking fourth in the grade," Mr. Yang said, turning his gaze to the purple-haired girl beside him and nodding in approval.
"Heh heh heh, naturally! I am Houraiji Kyuusyou, after all!" The purple-haired girl proudly struck a pose, hands on her hips.
"In short, the students taught by Ms. Murata Himeko are generally exceptional, except for... Kiana Kaslana."
"It's not that I've never taught Valkyries from the Kaslana family before. They might be a bit too straightforward in some ways, earning them the nickname 'idiots' from their peers. But their academic performance has always been remarkably consistent, leaving me with little to worry about."
"Except for the Headmaster's niece... I've often wondered if she only got into the academy through the Headmaster's connections..."
Mr. Yang, you needn't wonder—that's exactly how it happened... Snow and Kyuusyou raised their eyebrows.
Beside them, Theresa wiped non-existent cold sweat from her forehead, glancing awkwardly at the complaining Mr. Yang.
"I can't say she's stupid, though... At least she consistently earns excellent marks in practical combat assessments..."
"But when it comes to academic subjects... absences, skipping class, sleeping in class... she does it all without fail."
"In fact, on the recent Comprehensive Academic Assessment... she scored the lowest mark I've ever seen in all my years of teaching—21 points. Not 21 points in one subject, but the total score... the Comprehensive Academic Assessment combines scores from five subjects into one overall score." Mr. Yang held up a report card, ignoring the surrounding students' "old man on the subway staring at his phone" expressions as he read out the scores.
"Biology, History, Geography, Physics, and Chemistry—total score: 21 points. She even scored 0 in my History class. If the other students hadn't all scored at least 70 or higher, I'd be questioning my own teaching ability."
Mr. Yang sighed deeply.
"The retake is next week, Kiana Kaslana. If you still can't meet the passing grade in your academic subjects... forget about becoming a B-rank Valkyrie active on the battlefield. Even becoming a D-rank or C-rank support personnel would be out of the question." Mr. Yang glanced at the White-haired Clump lying on the ground pretending to be dead and sighed again.
"If you don't want her expelled... I'd like to ask you all to take care of this child. I'll compile and send you the study materials for the makeup exam."
"That's all for now. I have other matters to attend to, so I won't disturb you any further." Mr. Yang shook his head, greeted everyone in the room, and pushed the door open to leave.
Not long after Mr. Yang departed, Fu Hua returned from her morning training session. At that moment, Kiana, who had been lying on the floor feigning death, suddenly sprang up, grabbed Theresa—who was watching her with a helpless expression—and shouted:
"Auntie! Why don't you just apply for my B-rank Valkyrie qualification? If you can get that Blonde Monster an A-rank qualification, a little B-rank shouldn't be a problem, right?!"
Silence fell over the room. Fu Hua, who had just entered and hadn't yet grasped the situation, observed the quiet group and chose to remain silent as well.
"Alright then—" To everyone's surprise, Theresa agreed to Kiana's request, a gentle, affectionate smile on her face.
"Auntie is the best to me!" The White-haired Clump cheered, completely unaware of the gravity of the situation.
"Of course, there are conditions... Fu Hua, Snow, and Kyuusyou."
"Headmaster, please give your instructions. I'll do my best to fulfill them!"
"I'm... here. Get to the point quickly... I still need to bond with Kyuusyou..."
The three named students turned to look at Theresa, whom Kiana was holding. Snow and Fu Hua seemed to understand what was coming, and began cracking their knuckles and stretching.
"Kiana... do you see those three classmates in front of you?"
"Y-yes, Auntie... W-what's wrong?" Kiana asked nervously, sensing something was amiss.
"Pick one. If you defeat them, I'll recommend you for the B-rank Valkyrie qualification," Theresa said with a sly smile at her beloved niece.
Kiana looked up. The Class Monitor and the Blonde Monster were already limbering up, while Fu Hua stared at her with a serious expression.
"Kiana Kaslana, the B-rank Valkyrie promotion assessment is a very serious matter. It means you're officially stepping onto the battlefield. I won't hold back, so please take this seriously."
Class Monitor, your arm muscles and veins are bulging! the White-haired Clump roared inwardly.
Kiana turned to look at the Blonde Monster—she didn't say anything, but that girl's looking at me like I'm a corpse!
This young lady's still got plenty of life left in her! I'm too young to die!
That leaves only Kyuusyou. The White-haired Clump shifted its gaze to the purple-haired girl, who still looked somewhat bewildered.
"Then I choose Kyuusyou!" Kiana stood up and pointed at the slightly dazed purple-haired girl.
"...Huh?"
"Alright, let's head outside right away. I'll be the witness," Theresa nodded, silently mouthing to Kyuusyou:
Please absolutely beat her to within an inch of her life— Though still bewildered, Kyuusyou understood Theresa's message and gave a sympathetic glance at the White-haired Clump, who was about to face her.
"Then, let the promotion examination begin!" Theresa announced from the spacious garden outside the villa, signaling the start of the assessment.
"Kyuusyou, you might as well surrender now! The Blonde Monster isn't here to protect you this time!" Kiana declared confidently, lunging forward with the intent to end the fight quickly.
"...?!" She's just charging at me like that???
Uppercut!
"Agh—!!!"
Tom Cat scream sound effect.mp4 on loop
-
"She really underestimates me..." Brushing off her slightly disheveled clothes from the vigorous movements, the purple-haired girl cracked her neck and wrists, then rejoined the onlookers.
All that remained on the grass was a writhing, white, non-recyclable mass, groaning in pain.