Just the understanding of it, that the biggest, most influential fucker, the one with the agency and the power to hunt down the top players, control the mafia or cartels… is a lame-ass one, with eyes that hold nothing.
No fun, no darkness, no worry… just eyes.
Fucking eyes and César's reaction to all of it… to seeing that Sirina was nowhere close to the demons he had faced in his past lives was something else entirely.
[System: Do not try and attempt doing something that has a little to no chance of working.]
We don't know what's going to work or not if we don't try it.
[System:This life is far too precious to throw it away.]
Fuck up with you? An hour ago you were on my dick for not doing what I was supposed to do.César thought and yeah, he started arguing with the System instead of having a conversation with Sirina… or more like Sirina was waiting for him to answer, but the answer never came, as he was far more focused on the System bullying him.
But he still wore those expressions or rather, the absence of them on his face, and Sirina didn't know what to say, how to react, or even how to read him, because there was… nothing. No smile, no slight twitch of an eyebrow or the eyes, not even a single movement of his body. He was just sitting there with a blank face, one that wasn't forced at all, but genuine. He looked… bored… no, not even bored.
He looked like a plug had been pulled from the socket, like he had simply powered down, unable to perceive anything, emotion and feelings and that told Sirina more than any reaction ever could, because usually those who show none at all, no stress, no freezing, no patience, nothing are the ones carrying something terrible, trauma, or some kind of mental scars, disabilities. and so on.
Sirina felt she was right about it, in her own way. From her perspective, this was the answer. He shifted from a nonchalant, laid-back person, to someone who flirted with her, then to someone who smiled like a maniac, the kind of smile that alone told you he was dangerous only to switch again, now into this state. All the while, he was changing the atmosphere between them, and then he… went back to the brick wall. Not a single emotion, just staring at her in silence.
Yeah, silence. It wasn't an embarrassing silence, and it wasn't the kind that intimidated, it was just silence and in that silence, her mind was spinning, working harder than usual, trying to guess and to prfile César's mental state, his pain, the weaknesses he had revealed during their conversations.
At first, it seemed obvious he was lying, but he wasn't lying. He simply hadn't told the full truth. She never asked who he was and when she asked about his clothes, he told the truth, he liked the velvet purple shirt, which is why he bought it.
Not a single lie.
She had only asked why he was here, and César was truly just a witness. Profiling someone who hadn't lied even once so far was difficult… and all the while, Sirina was trying her best… and César was arguing.
[System: You are a dumbass, careless fucker who has no regard for life, nor for opportunities. At the beginning, you showed interest in how lucky you were, but it slowly turned into what you are right now. A reckless, careless, dumb fuck.]
Oh, really? You said nothing when you sent me to get tortured. Said nothing when they started skinning me alive, but in this peaceful life, I'm the dumb fuck? You cocky piece of shit.
[System: Those lives were the worst of the worst. This country was a shithole, ruled by cartel gangsters and terrorists. The way of living there was much different,it was actually better to die. But this is the perfect situation, and truly, you have never gotten this before. Don't throw it away and act like you did back then. You motherfucker, stupid bitch.]
César almost burst out laughing just thinking about it about the way this bullshit was talking to him. It was absurdly funny, but he knew that if he laughed, he would break the atmosphere once again.
Though the System did have good points. In those lives, the only real path was to die, and once he was so done with all the bullshit that he believed if he killed himself, he could endlessly respawn until he finally found a world that was actually worth living in. But the truth was and still is that suicide is never an option… especially after he experienced what comes with it.
"No reaction?" Sirina finally spoke, breaking the silence and pulling César out of his thoughts and he snapped back immediately.
"Well, it was great." César replied, slowly clapping his hands together as if he were celebrating her… making everything feel even more absurd. "Though, of course, I am here because I am a witness, and nothing more." He leaned back, resting his hands on the table while maintaining eye contact. "And what's wrong with my fit? It's hot outside, so I brought a shirt, a chino. It's a great fit." He finished, smirking slightly at her, but she wasn't taking any of it.
Like after this long-ass silence, he immediately snapped back to the conversation, calm and collected, though Sirina still had follow-up questions to get to know him better.
"Maybe I overcomplicated it a bit, but let's hear what you've noticed. I'm open to it." She said, leaning back in her chair, fully calm, no stress visible, still composed, but with the tick in her mind that it was all just absurd… and that's why she was looking forward to his answers.
But it would have been far better if she hadn't asked, and even better if César hadn't answered. Maybe it would have been much better if the System had just shut César off, maybe shocked him or done something to stop him from sayin any bullshit… yeah, but it didn't do anything.