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Chapter 165 - Borrowed Grief

Part of the funeral clip returned on Friday, never the whole thing.

Just Lâm standing near Minh's coffin with his wrapped hand half-hidden, then a cut to him on the wet court taking Thuận's arm, then a cut to the short clip caption:

Same circle. Same outside boys. Same disruption.

Someone had added slow music.

The comments under the repost were worse than the edit.

Some were cruel.

Most were casual.

Why always him?

Schools should separate these groups.

This is why students should not bring outside drama.

Poor dead friend, now this.

The last one made the room tilt.

Pity had learned to wear teeth.

Lâm wanted to put his fist through the phone because the clip was ugly in the exact shape of grief, not because it was clever.

It did not accuse Minh directly. It did not need to. It placed Minh's closed coffin beside Lâm's living body and let people decide that sorrow had friends, that trouble traveled in groups, that boys who stood near one tragedy often carried the next one in their pockets.

His phone shook.

No.

His hand shook.

The phone only obeyed.

He left class without permission and went only as far as the toilet hall.

He locked himself in the last stall and bent over the sink smell, breathing through nausea.

Guilt came first.

Then rage.

Then a strange, bright wish to make someone afraid enough to stop touching dead people.

His bad hand throbbed like it had heard the wish and wanted employment.

No. He pressed the wrapped palm flat against the stall wall without making a fist.

The surface was cool, dirty, real.

He counted the screw heads on the stall divider.

One rusted.

One missing.

Two painted over.

Counting was stupid.

Counting worked.

The body needed something small enough to obey while the mind tried to become weather.

The rehab specialist's voice arrived without warmth.

Pain is information.

Hate is a bad commander.

He stayed there until the bell rang.

When he stepped out, Bảo Khang was washing his hands.

Of course. He was not smiling today.

He looked thinner than before, or maybe the fluorescent light finally showed the cost of being useful to people who did not love useful things.

"I did not make that one," Bảo Khang said.

Lâm stood by the stall door.

"But you know who did."

"I know what kind of people make it."

Without the helpful mask, Bảo Khang looked used rather than guilty.

There was a difference, and Lâm hated that he could see it.

"Red handling?"

Bảo Khang's jaw moved once.

Small confirmation.

Too small for a recorder.

Big enough for blood.

"They are not like me," Bảo Khang said.

"That is supposed to comfort me?"

"No. It is supposed to make you stop looking for a hand to grab. Image people do not need to touch you. They make the first color red, then let everyone else decide they saw blood."

Lâm thought of the square mark on the notice. The red border around the grief edit. The sponsor stamp that kept appearing wherever adults wanted to sound neutral.

The color had become a signature that could deny being a signature.

"You should take the apology," Bảo Khang said.

"Why?"

"Because the next version will not need facts at all."

Lâm looked at him.

For one second, Bảo Khang looked almost honest.

"Are you warning me?"

Bảo Khang's mouth moved like a smile had started and failed.

"I am warning myself badly enough for you to overhear."

Then the door opened and two first-year students came in laughing.

The moment died.

Bảo Khang dried his hands carefully.

"You think full clips save people," he said.

Lâm said nothing.

"They save moments. People are larger than moments. Easier to ruin too."

He left before Lâm could answer.

Lâm stayed by the sink until the automatic light turned off.

Darkness arrived with a small electric click.

For one breath, he saw the room without mirrors.

That helped.

Mirrors were another kind of clip if you were angry enough.

When the light returned, he looked smaller than he felt, though not weaker.

Like the school had found a way to fold him without touching his wrist.

He washed his hands even though they were not dirty.

The water was cold.

He kept them under it until the shaking became something he could lie about.

That was the problem with enemies who told the truth sometimes.

The truth did not become cleaner because it came from a dirty mouth.

At home, Lâm muted the funeral edit. Without the slow music, the cuts became easier to see and harder to excuse. There was no crying, no prayer, and no street noise outside Minh's home. Only Lâm's face beside the wet-court frame, both bordered red, asking strangers to decide what kind of boy stood near death and violence so often.

He watched it once.

Then again, because pain sometimes demanded proof before becoming real.

His thumb hovered over the reply box.

He could post the full clip. He could write Minh's name in all caps until the chat had to look at it. He could ask why cowards loved editing the dead after the dead could no longer correct them.

His good hand shook, which scared him more than pain in the injured one.

That scared him more.

Bảo Khang's message came while the reply box was still open.

The next version will not need facts.

Lâm stared at it until the screen dimmed.

Then he locked the phone and placed it across the room.

Walking away from it felt like losing.

Maybe that was why it worked.

He opened Wrong Shoes on the laptop instead and typed what the red border had tried to make him forget.

Minh had a name before he became evidence.

The sentence did not fix anything.

It stopped one thing from being stolen cleanly.

Before sleeping, he added the unedited funeral photo to a private folder with no tags. No caption. No red border. Just Minh's name in the file title, where a machine could sort it but strangers could not feed on it.

He did not send that file to Thuận. Not yet. Some names needed one quiet night before they were handed back to the living. He placed the laptop beside the wall and slept facing away from it, as if the screen could still glow through closed eyes. Sleep did not come quickly. At least it came without posting. That counted as one clean refusal, small but real enough to keep until morning. Morning could judge him later, if needed.

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