"The... mall?" Anissa repeated, the word sounding entirely foreign on her tongue. She crossed her arms, looking at William with utter disdain. "What purpose does this 'mall' serve? Is it a gladiatorial arena? Or perhaps a rationing center for the lower castes?"
"It's a place where people go to eat excessive amounts of calories and spend money on clothes they don't need," William explained flatly. "And we're going. But you all can't go looking the way you do. Everyone needs to change into civilian clothes."
I rubbed my face, letting out a heavy sigh. "William, this is a terrible idea."
"It's better than the alternative of them blowing up this area," William countered, clapping his hands. "Chop chop."
I walked over to Eve, who was still looking a bit groggy. I reached out to help her straighten up, but she immediately pulled her arm away, her eyes burning holes into my head.
Man, what'd I do now? I thought, pulling my hand away.
Anissa, possessing absolutely zero emotional intelligence or tact, chose that exact moment to step directly into my personal space, completely obscuring Eve from my view.
"You will have to familiarize me with the customs of this 'mall' upon our arrival," Anissa demanded, her voice low and deliberate.
Behind her, Eve let out a highly irritated scoff. She shoved past Anissa's shoulder and stormed out of the room to go find her own clothes.
What a nightmare, I thought, glaring at the Viltrumite warrior.
"Just go change into civilian wear," I ordered Anissa, pointing to a stack of folded clothes my staff had just brought into the room.
Anissa eyed the denim jeans and basic top like they were radioactive. "This is foolish. We should not have to conceal our true nature from these humans. It is beneath us."
"We are not drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves," I stated, crossing my arms and holding my ground. "Put them on."
Anissa sighed, shaking her head at my supposed Earthean weakness. "If it hastens our departure, I will humor this absurdity."
As she walked over to the clothes, I turned to William, grabbing him by the shoulder.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" I hissed quietly. "Every time those two see each other, they wanna rip each other's heads off! Why would you try to put them in a public space like the mall?!"
"Which is precisely why this little excursion is needed," William replied nonchalantly. "Besides, a little R&R has never hurt anybody. And I think you need it in particular."
"Even so, anything could set these two off at a moment's notice," I argued, glancing nervously over my shoulder at Anissa.
"Please, you already do that just fine by existing," William scoffed, waving his hand. "Especially after that moment I just witnessed with you and her."
I frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Dude, it was steamy. Like, binge-worthy drama steamy," William whispered conspiratorially. "You may be a cheater, but I can't say you don't have good taste. Because woof, what a woman."
"For the last time, she and I didn't do any—"
I was completely cut off by the sudden rustle of fabric.
I turned my head to see Anissa completely stripped out of her Viltrumite uniform. They set in place like two perfectly sized bowling bowls, causing me to briefly lose my train of thought.
My eyes practically popped out of my skull.
Great googily moogily, look at those bazongas! my libido screamed, losing its mind.
William slapped both hands over his face, immediately peeking through his fingers. "Oh my god," he gasped loudly.
"Hey! What're you doing?!" I yelled, as I desperately tried—and failed—to look away. Damn, they're huge.
"Putting on these garments you requested, what else?" Anissa replied coolly, entirely unbothered.
"I mean, why are you fully nude?! You could have been escorted to a private room to change!"
"We are in a room," she retorted, casually stepping into the jeans. "And what difference does it make? The garments will be worn either way."
Aye, look at the jiggle as she puts on the jeans! Look at the jiggle! My libido screamed.
"Because it's common courtesy, that's why!" I argued.
"Common courtesy? For these humans?" Anissa scoffed, shaking her head. "That weakness continues to plague you, I fear."
"Girl, get a grip! Even if you see them as beneath you, flashing them ain't the way to go!"
Hold on now, she might be onto something, my libido interjected.
"The opinions of these creatures matter little to me, as I've told you before," Anissa said. She paused, and an arrogant smirk crossed her lips. She placed her hands on her hips, and deliberately puffed out her chest. "You, however, should feel pleased by what's presented before you. Call it a preview for what's in store for you."
"Mark! You—you lucky bastard," William stammered, giving me an incredibly judgmental, knowing look while shaking his head. "This magnificent creature might turn me straight."
Dang, she gots that kind of power?! the libido questioned.
"J-Just get the clothes on, so we can go!" I said, pointing at the shirt.
Anissa let out a soft, highly amused chuckle. "As you command," she purred, pulling the fabric over her head.
Aye man, I think you should—
No, I replied instantly.
But she's very willing, It groaned. And do you see those two weapons of mass destruction on her chest? One squeeze and your hand probably disappears!
No, I stated firmly, not budging.
REEEEEEEE, YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY FUN, I HATE YOU! It cried.
I shook my head and turned back to William. "And stop looking at me like that! I told you nothing happened!"
"Whatever you say, Romeo," William side-eyed me.
When Anissa was finally dressed, the outfit accentuated her statuesque figure perfectly. The libido went absolutely feral in the back of my mind, pointing out how outrageously fine she looked in normal clothes, while I quickly threw on my own civilian gear above my nanite suit.
Ten minutes later, the four of us reconvened in the parking garage. The tension between Eve and Anissa was thick enough to cut with a chainsaw. They were practically locked in a silent staring contest.
William, thriving in the chaos, decided to escalate the situation. Instead of letting us fly or taking a company transport, he forced us to pile into his completely average, incredibly messy Toyota Yaris.
Eve immediately claimed the passenger seat, leaving me to squeeze into the cramped back seat next to Anissa. The visual of a centuries-old galactic conqueror forced to sit in the back of a slightly rusted sedan while William blasted pop music over the speakers was pure comedy.
Anissa crossed her arms, her knee pressed firmly against mine as she glared out the window, visibly getting more annoyed by the second.
The sheer absurdity of the situation made a wide grin stretch across my face. I couldn't help it.
I glanced forward toward the front seats, only to catch Eve glaring at me through the rearview mirror with eyes full of unfiltered rage.
My grin dropped immediately.
The ride in the cramped car was agonizingly long, but we eventually pulled into the crowded parking lot of the local mall.
As soon as we stepped through the doors, Anissa immediately went into tactical mode. Her eyes darted across the massive, multi-level complex, analyzing the structural pillars and the dense crowds of shoppers.
"Their numbers are vast, yet their defenses are pitiful," Anissa noted, her gaze locking onto a mall cop slowly rolling past the food court on a Segway. She pointed a sharp finger at him. "Is that wheeled contraption their vanguard? I could snap his spine before he even perceived my movement."
"That's just a mall cop," I said, hastily pulling her hand down. "And stop glaring at those teenagers. You're scaring them."
Eve, on the other hand, fell comfortably back into her normal self. She confidently took the lead, marching us into a high-end clothing store. Anissa hated following Eve's lead, which was painfully visible by the way her jaw clenched with every step, while William thrived in the chaos. He actively hung back, analyzing the two women like he was watching a reality TV show.
While William distracted Anissa by showing her a rack of crop-tops, Eve suddenly grabbed me by the collar and yanked me behind a circular display of winter coats, out of sight.
"Did you do anything with her when you were out in space?" she demanded, keeping her voice in a harsh whisper.
"Huh?!" I sputtered.
Eve glared at me, crossing her arms. "You heard me. You don't put up much of a resistance when she gets all touchy."
"Well, how can I stop her?! I have no powers!" I defended quietly. "The only way I can get her to even remotely listen to anything I say is by using my words, which tend to fall on deaf ears because she's stubborn as all hell." I paused, then muttered under my breath, "Like someone else I know."
Eve gritted her teeth, her eyes flashing. "What'd you say?!"
"Nothing! Just thinking aloud," I said instantly.
"Then answer the question," Eve pressed. "And the child thing... you didn't really promise her that did you?!"
I started to sweat, looking away from her piercing gaze. "Well, yes."
Eve's fists clenched so tight her knuckles turned white.
"But there's a reason for that!" I added quickly. "We needed information about where my father was when they essentially kidnapped him. I basically got strong-armed into it. It caught me completely off guard, too."
Eve visibly got less angry, but her irritation spiked. "So call it off."
"I can't."
"And why not?!"
"Because I don't know what might happen, that's why," I stressed. "Even though she tricked me into it, she still held up her end of the bargain. If I go against my end, I don't know what she might do, or what plan might hatch in that twisted head of hers."
Eve just stared at me, shaking her head. "What the hell are you talking about?! That sounds like an excuse. You probably want it to happen."
"Girl, what?!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up. "Do you hear yourself?! How the hell did you come to that conclusion?!"
"I'm not blind, Mark!" Eve shot back. "And William isn't, either. If our roles were reversed, you'd see how insane you're acting and sounding."
"I live an insane life!" I retorted.
I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around Eve's waist. "Eve, please! What more do you want me to even say?! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME, WOMAN!"
"Tell me you're not attracted to her! Not even in the slightest!" she demanded, looking down at me. "Tell me she does nothing for you!" Then, she smacked me hard on the back of the head. "And get your hands off my butt. You don't deserve to touch them."
Ope, she caught us, my libido chuckled. Good attempt. But babygirl is wilding out right now, I'm not gonna lie. Ease her tension, reassure her or something.
I let out a heavy sigh of defeat, pulling my hands away and standing back up. "She does nothing for me. She just ain't you," I replied without a second thought.
Eve stared at me, narrowing her eyes like she was trying to read my soul. "I don't believe you."
"Then why tell me to say it?!" I threw my hands in the air. "Eve, this is ridiculous, come on!"
Eve shook her head. "I'm not going to be lied to and pretend like everything's okay. Mark, you give her the same look you give me when you want me."
I paused for a moment, genuinely taken aback. Damn, do I?! I thought internally. I didn't even know. That's crazy.
"How can I just ignore that?" Eve continued softly but firmly. "I could ask you something about her appearance, and you'd probably just give me an excuse."
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Do you think she's pretty?"
Goddamn, that's a pretty strong question out the gate, not gonna lie, my libido said.
I turned my ear to her, while giving her a confused look. "Come again?"
"Do you think she's pretty, attractive, hot... I can go on," Eve listed, her gaze unwavering. "And you can be honest. I won't get mad, I promise."
Do not tell the truth, it's a trap! my libido screamed.
Well, duh, dumbass, I replied to it. Even I can tell that by the way her eyes are barely holding in her anger.
I looked back at Eve, picking my words with extreme caution. "She ain't ugly."
Eve glared harder, pointing an accusatory finger directly at my chest. "That's not what I asked, and you know it."
"I know," I sighed, dropping my shoulders. "Look, I know things have turned upside down, but this is the new reality now, no matter how messed up it is." I stepped forward, gently pulling her into a hug. She was stiff at first, but I held on. "The best chance of the Earth and everyone on it surviving these assholes is if we keep them where we can see them."
Eve sighed, the fight finally draining out of her as she wrapped her arms around me. "You're just saying that so I don't get angry anymore."
"Maybe. But even so, I don't want you to feel unsettled," I murmured. "Especially at a time like this."
"Alright," Eve said, her voice muffled against my shirt. "Just promise me one thing."
"Yea, what?"
"If you do start to feel something more for her... then at least tell me, okay?"
"I can't do that."
Eve pulled back slightly, looking up at me. "And why not?!"
"Because that ain't gonna happen," I said firmly. "It'd just be too inconceivable to me. I can't even imagine myself leaving—"
I stopped mid-sentence. Over Eve's shoulder, through a gap in the clothing racks, I saw Anissa.
She wasn't with William anymore. She was completely surrounded by a group of three older, overly confident guys who were aggressively flirting with her. And Anissa was glaring at them with a look of such deep, unfathomable irritation that it made my blood run cold.
Oh, no! I panicked internally.
I let go of Eve and immediately rushed out from behind the coats. As I closed the distance, I saw Anissa's right fist slowly clench. The guys hadn't noticed that they were seconds away from having their heads punched clean off their shoulders in the middle of the store.
"Alright, y'all had your fun, now buzz off," I said, stepping up behind them.
The guys turned, ready to start something, but the moment they saw me and the serious look in my eyes, their false bravado evaporated. They muttered a few weak excuses and quickly scattered away.
I turned to Anissa, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Do not leave my side."
Anissa unclenched her fist, and a deeply satisfied smile bloomed across her face. She happily stepped closer to me. "With pleasure."
I guided her back toward the racks where Eve was standing with her arms crossed, having watched the entire display.
Eve just stared at me, deadpan. "So much for not leaving."
Smooth one, my libido commented dryly.
*********
We finally made our way out of the clothing stores and into the mall's food court. The air was thick with the smell of fried food, sugary treats, and cheap perfume.
William proudly marched us over to a slightly sticky table near the center. "Sit. I'll return with the great equalizer of human conflict: the mall pretzel."
Eve slid into one side of the booth. I went to slide in next to her, but Anissa smoothly intercepted, boxing me in on the opposite side of the table so my shoulder was pressed firmly against hers. Eve's eyes instantly narrowed.
This is fine, my libido said, its voice trembling slightly. Everything's fine. Just don't make eye contact.
A few minutes later, William returned with a tray of massive, butter-soaked pretzels and slapped them down on the table.
Anissa picked hers up by the edge, holding it at eye level like she was inspecting a biological weapon. She sniffed it once, her nose crinkling in disgust.
"You consume this baked starch for sustenance?" she asked, looking at William. "It possesses zero nutritional value. It is merely baked dough covered in crystallized sodium and liquid dairy fat. This explains why your species is so physically fragile."
"It's not for sustenance, it's for joy," William retorted, ripping off a piece of his own and eating it. "Try it. It might make you less terrifying."
Anissa scoffed, dropping the pretzel back onto the tray as if it had offended her.
William clapped his hands together, suddenly standing up. "Well! All this joy has gone straight to my bladder. I have to go to the bathroom. You three play nice."
My eyes widened in sheer panic. "Hey, wait—"
"Be back in ten!" he called out over his shoulder, disappearing into the bustling crowd with a terrifyingly quick pace.
Bro, my libido whispered. I'm starting to write my will, how should I begin it? 'Stuck between two sexy rocks and I'm hard in place,' or what? What do you think?
I ignored the annoying bastard and slowly looked across the table. Eve was staring at Anissa. Anissa was staring at Eve. The silence was deafening.
Eve took a slow, deliberate bite of her pretzel, leaning back in the booth. She turned her gaze to me, and smiled, her voice dripping with casual familiarity. "Remember when we used to come here after school, Mark? Back when things were normal. We'd skip sixth period, grab these exact same pretzels, and just talk for hours about life."
She shot a sideways glance at Anissa. "It's nice to share history with someone. To really know them outside of a battlefield."
I closed my eyes. Oh god, I thought, shaking my head internally. She's aiming low, huh?
Anissa leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. She didn't look annoyed; she looked deeply amused.
"How quaint," she said, her eyes locking onto Eve. "Childhood memories are sweet, I suppose. But they are fleeting. As opposed to facing several adversaries to spread the glory of one's empire. It just brings about a certain level of… intimacy."
Eve's jaw tightened.
"There is a bond forged in the shedding of blood and the heat of combat that no Earthean leisure could ever replicate," Anissa continued smoothly, leaning her shoulder a fraction of an inch closer to mine. "To stand beside him as he embraced his true heritage, to witness his raw power before it was temporarily stripped... is just a different experience entirely."
Holy shit, and she's aiming lower, my libido said.
Eve slammed her hands down on the table, her eyes flashing bright pink with residual energy. "Listen here, you alien bi—"
"AHHHHH!"
A terrified scream suddenly ripped through the food court, instantly shattering the tension at our table.
Eve's pink energy vanished as we all snapped our heads toward the center hall. The bustling, normal mall environment dissolved into mass panic in a matter of seconds. Hundreds of shoppers were sprinting away from the main walkway, shoving each other out of the way, dropping shopping bags, and trampling over spilled food in a desperate bid for the exits.
"What the hell's going on?!" I yelled over the deafening screams.
Through the scattering crowd, a new group of people emerged. But they weren't running. They were marching.
Dozens—maybe hundreds—of civilians were moving in unnatural unison. Their faces were completely slack, their eyes glazed over and glowing with a stark, solid white hue.
They were swarming the fleeing shoppers, violently snatching bags, watches, and jewelry right off of them. Others were grabbing heavy trash cans and chairs, hurling them through the glass storefronts and marching inside to systematically empty the cash registers.
"Help! I can't stop!" one of them screamed, as they swiped coins out of a fountain.
"My body, I can't control my body!" cried another.
Walking casually behind the front line of his mind-controlled army was the cause of it all.
It was a man with long, thick black dreadlocks cascading down his shoulders. He stood out like a sore thumb in a bulky, bright orange puffer jacket layered over a crisp white top, paired with white pants, a thick belt, and distinctively styled, all-white shoes. A visible psionic energy field rippled the air around him, and his own eyes glowed that same stark, solid white.
Mastermind, I thought, narrowing my eyes.
A heavy, suffocating pressure suddenly dropped over the area. Without my Viltrumite powers active, my unprotected brain felt like it was being crushed in a vice. I grimaced, grabbing my head as my vision blurred. Thankfully, a sudden, cooling wave washed over the back of my neck as my new bio-reactive nanites flared to life beneath my clothes, actively shielding my mind from the psychic intrusion.
"Bring everything of value to the center," Mastermind commanded. His voice vibrated directly inside the minds of everyone present.
We were the only three people in the entire food court not moving to his orders.
"Well," Eve said, her pink energy flaring brightly around both hands as she stood up from the booth. "I finally have something I can punch."
Anissa slowly rose to her feet and looked absolutely elated.
"Even with this planet being as pathetic as it is, I cannot say its diversions are without merit," Anissa smirked, her eyes tracking the mind-controlled mob as her muscles coiled for an execution.
About fifty yards away, Mastermind halted. His glowing white eyes slowly turned, locking directly onto our table.
The entire front line of his civilian army stopped looting. Slowly, in perfect synchronization, they turned their heads to face us.
Well, we need a good distraction, and now we got one, my libido said. Hopefully, it gets their juices flowing enough to not want to kill each other.