Choices Swimming Inside a Bottle
Dan was sitting in his front room. The sun was setting outside, casting long, jagged shadows across the floor. He was deep in thought, his mind buzzing and his heart aching - like a chorus performing some ear-splittimg harmony.
There were three bottles sitting on the coffee table before him—two empty, the third three-quarters full. All of them were rum.
He sighed, picked up a manila envelope sitting beside him, and pulled out the divorce papers he had refused to look at until now. His eyes scanned the room, looking for either a pen to end it or a way out of the entire situation. He heard his front door open and close, and his body involuntarily trembled. He calmed down only when he heard David call his name. He picked up a glass and took a heavy swig of rum.
Was he really that terrified of Jessica now?
"Dan! Dan!"
He couldn't answer his best friend; the lump in his throat felt bigger than ever before. He was taking another sip when David finally walked into the room. David stood in the doorway, confusion and pity co-mingling in his expression.
He sighed and sat across from Dan. "I thought we talked about this. I thought it was settled. We will wait and see what happens, and if she actually has a baby, you will be a good father and…"
"And what?" Rage and heartbreak almost shattered Dan's voice. David sat back, the bottle of rum now in his hand, concern etched on his face. "How can our child grow up knowing her mother and stepmother are sisters? What does that say about me?"
David scoffed. "It is 2025. Are you really this old-fashioned?" He closed the rum and put it on the floor beside him. "I am going to make some coffee. We are going to have a rational discussion, and then we are going to get down to business."
David went to the kitchen without waiting for a reply. Dan drained his glass and looked for the bottle to pour another, but his eyes flicked back to the divorce papers. Pain shot through his body like a bolt of electricity.
"I should just sign the papers and get it over with. Amber doesn't want me. And why should she? I treated her like trash for five years of married life. Five years!"
"So you are just going to feel sorry for yourself?" Dan heard cabinets closing and water running as David prepared the coffee.
"I am not feeling sorry for myself. I am being realistic."
"Realistic? What has you backing down now?"
"Jessica, of course. You know what a crazy bitch she is. She is going to make our lives miserable."
"Pay her off, take care of your baby—if she is even pregnant. I still don't think she would allow herself to go through a pregnancy. But don't give up. Yesterday you were ready to fight for Amber. Today you are ready to hand her over to the chef and the milkman? What the hell, bro? I am really beginning to understand why she sent you those papers."
Dan's glass shattered against the stone fireplace.
"Damnit, David! Why do you have to be so friggin' honest?!"
David came back into the room, looking at the glittering shards on the floor. "You're the one who wanted to be realistic. I am being honest with you. Look, if you still have feelings for Jessica, then I am behind you 100%. But don't let that woman drive you away from who you truly want. And for goodness' sake, don't keep underestimating your wife."
David set the coffee on the table. Dan stared at the fireplace, neither man wanting to look at the other. Dan knew his friend was right. He couldn't explain why he was spiraling, except that it all felt so hopeless.
He took the divorce papers from the table, the scent of the coffee sobering him up. David sat down across from him. "Are you going to give up and sign them?"
Dan looked down at Amber Ann's signature. Thinking of her as just a "Lance" again made his heart feel like someone was twisting a knife in it. He tucked the papers back into the envelope.
"I can't. I really think I am being selfish, but I can't give up. I have to try my best to get her back." He picked up his phone and punched in his passcode. "I should start by being the one to tell her the truth."
Text:
>Amber.<
>I know you no longer want to speak to me, and I am sorry for this intrusion.<
> I just want you to know that Jessica has informed me she is pregnant. She is saying it is mine.<
>I want you to know I will do right by my child, if it is my child, but I still want to be your husband.<
>I will not lie to you. There is a chance she is carrying my child, and I hope you can forgive me for underestimating our marriage and taking you for granted.<
>But I want you to also know that I am refusing to sign these divorce papers. I refuse to let you go.<
Amber Ann sat in the dark, the moon high over Blue Serene Lake, her cell phone illuminating her face. Dinner at her parents' house had been horrendous and hilarious at the same time—and it had hurt her to the core.
But Dan's text messages caused her heart to race and her mind to tremble. Could he really love her now? Her fingers shook as she held the phone tighter – reading each text over and over again.
She had been ready to make him end this "chase" mess for good, but then Jessica had humiliated her tonight, and now Dan was writing with a feeling she could sense even through the screen.
Could she really have her husband and a new life at the same time? She looked up at the full, glowing moon, her heart suddenly dreaming of something that had seemed impossible mere days ago.