In the sixth year of Chongzhen's reign.
Inside the Imperial Study of the capital, the Chongzhen Emperor, Zhu Youjian, was still reading memorials.
He had never understood why this was so.
He was already an emperor known for diligence. He rose early, slept late, personally reviewed state affairs, and yet the memorials never ended.
No matter how many he read, more would always be waiting.
Endless. Truly endless.
He opened one at random and skimmed it.
Bad news.
Zijing Liang was leading a large rebel force, marching south, active around Weihui Prefecture north of the Yellow River.
Weihui lay at the intersection of Shanxi, Henan, and Hebei. The rebels would appear in Shanxi today, slip into Henan tomorrow, and then dart into Hebei the day after.
The governors and commanders of the three provinces were busy shifting responsibility. Each insisted that the bandits were not within their borders and therefore not their problem.
Zhu Youjian's mood sank straight down.
He opened the next memorial.
An official from the Ministry of War wrote that Henan had failed to block the Taihang Mountain passes, allowing the bandits to enter, and could not escape blame.
He opened another.
Still the Ministry of War.
This one stated that the officials and gentry of Henan had jointly petitioned, requesting that Hong Chengchou, Supreme Commander of the Three Borders, also take charge of military affairs in Shanxi and Henan.
The Ministry of War praised the proposal as excellent.
Unifying command would prevent mutual shirking of responsibility and allow for coordinated encirclement and suppression.
They further suggested that Hong Chengchou relocate to Tongguan Pass, located at the junction of the three provinces, to supervise the governors of Shanxi and Henan, as well as the regional commanders Cao Wenzhao, Deng Qi, and Zhang Yingchang.
Zhu Youjian frowned.
Hong Chengchou was capable, that much he admitted.
But granting one man such sweeping authority, and stationing him at Tongguan—such a critical choke point—
It felt dangerous.
What if Hong Chengchou rebelled?
After pondering for a long time, Zhu Youjian picked up his brush and issued an edict:
"Military ineffectiveness must stem from generals' lack of dedication.
I hereby dispatch eunuchs Chen Dakui, Yan Siyin, Xie Wenju, and Sun Maolin as inner military supervisors, to serve as army superintendents for the garrisons of Cao Wenzhao, Zhang Yingchang, Zuo Liangyu, and Deng Qi."
He nodded to himself.
As long as eunuchs were watching them, those generals would surely fight properly.
It had to be so.
Just as this thought settled, a eunuch rushed in from outside.
"Your Majesty! Wonderful news! Truly wonderful news!"
Zhu Youjian brightened.
"Speak quickly."
The eunuch said, "Deng Qi, the Sichuan Regional Commander, had a general named Yang Yuchun, who while pursuing Zijing Liang fell into an ambush and was killed—"
Zhu Youjian slammed the table.
"You dog! How is that wonderful news? Are you trying to anger me to death?"
The eunuch broke out in cold sweat.
"Your servant… your servant hasn't finished speaking…"
"Continue!"
The eunuch hurriedly said, "Deng Qi led his troops to avenge Yang Yuchun, drew his five-stone great bow, and from two hundred paces shot an arrow through Zijing Liang's throat, killing him on the spot!"
Zhu Youjian's spirits soared.
For two full seconds.
Then suspicion crept in.
"A five-stone bow?" he asked coldly.
"Two hundred paces? Through the throat?"
Sweat poured from the eunuch's face.
"That… that's what the memorial says."
Zhu Youjian exploded.
"All of you are scoundrels! These memorials read like novels! Tell me—did Zijing Liang really die or not? Is this report even real?"
The eunuch's back was soaked.
"Your servant… does not know."
"Investigate!" Zhu Youjian barked.
"Investigate thoroughly! I want the truth. No more lies!"
The eunuch retreated at once.
Before the door had even closed, another eunuch entered.
"Your Majesty, Governor Chen Qiyu of Yansui submits an urgent military memorial."
"Bring it."
Zhu Youjian opened it.
His eyes widened.
The memorial read:
"According to Commander Luo Xi: General Shi led one thousand arquebusiers. They fired in rotating volleys. In four volleys, taking only ten breaths of time, the Mongol cavalry was completely routed and fled in disorder."
Zhu Youjian stared.
Then he overturned the desk.
"Four volleys in ten breaths?!
What kind of arquebus fires that fast?
Is it a child's slingshot?!"
"If Mongol cavalry could be destroyed in ten breaths, why did Qin Shi Huang bother building the Great Wall?!"
The eunuchs dropped to their knees, scrambling to gather memorials from the floor.
Zhu Youjian was livid.
"This is getting more outrageous by the day!
Outrageous!
You're all trying to anger me to death!"
Another eunuch appeared hesitantly.
"A report… the Governor of Shaanxi, Wang Shunxing, has submitted a memorial—Ah! Your Majesty, what are you doing?"
"Bring it!" Zhu Youjian snapped.
"Wang Shunxing is a steady man. He wouldn't write nonsense."
The memorial was presented.
Zhu Youjian read:
"Governor Wang Shunxing reports that a certain Squire Li has constructed a railway outside Xi'an, stretching a thousand li, passing dozens of prefectures and counties, directly to Hedong City. On this railway runs an iron carriage weighing hundreds of thousands of catties, capable of carrying a thousand people at once and traveling a thousand li in a single day."
Zhu Youjian choked.
He exhaled heavily, then screamed:
"Aiya—aiya—aiya!
That old scoundrel Wang Shunxing!
How dare he write such absurd nonsense?!"
"They've all gone mad! Every single one of them!
I can't read one truthful memorial anymore!
They're all just scribbling lies to fool me!"
"Your Majesty, calm your anger!" the eunuchs cried.
Zhu Youjian slammed the desk.
"Dismiss Commander Luo Xi!
Dismiss Governor Wang Shunxing!
Replace them all!"
The eunuchs panicked.
"Your Majesty, Commander Luo Xi may be dismissed, but Governor Wang Shunxing has governed Shaanxi well. The region has stabilized greatly, and even the rebels have quieted down."
Zhu Youjian sneered.
"That's not his merit! The rebels simply fled into Shanxi!
Dismiss him!
Appoint… Lian Guoshi!"
Thus, Lian Guoshi—eighth-generation descendant of Lian Zining, early Ming pillar minister and venerable elder of the dynasty—took office at lightning speed.
After venting his anger, Zhu Youjian looked around.
The Imperial Study was in chaos.
Memorials lay scattered everywhere as eunuchs hurried to collect them.
He felt a trace of embarrassment.
As emperor, overturning furniture in anger was unseemly.
A ruler should restrain himself.
Control your temper.
He picked up another memorial.
It read:
"The Shanxi bandits: Jieshan Hu, Liu Daozhi, Jin Chipeng, Xue Rengui, Yitiao Long, Hei Shashen, Ren Zhonghu, Wu Yanwang, Ma Shangfei, Wang Denghuai, Man Tianfei, Man E, Huang Canyao, Zhang Cong, Fan Dengke, Fan Jirong, Yikuai Tie, Chuanshan Jia, Lao Jiangjun, Er Jiangjun, Man Tianxing, Shang Shanhu, Sao Dihu, Pa Dihu, Kuo Tianfei, Tiao Shanhu, Xin Laijiang, Jiu Digun, Xiao Huangying, Fang Ritu, Jia Zongguan, Bi Shangtian, Xiao Hongqi, Cao Shangfei, Yizhi Hu, Yichi Fei, Sidan Wang, Du Weilang… and others, have re-entered northern Shaanxi through northwestern Shanxi."
Zhu Youjian exclaimed,
"These ruffians—why are their names all so disgraceful?"
Cao Huachun said, "Your Majesty, the main point!"
Zhu Youjian snapped back to attention.
"The main point… so many bandits have returned to Shaanxi?"
He clenched his fist.
"Who in Shaanxi can still fight them?"
Cao Huachun answered calmly.
"Shi Jian."