Flat-Rabbit squeezed himself into a crowd of newcomers heading toward the "Craftwell"—the giant workshop complex of Gaojia Fort. He was feeling extremely smug about his prospects. Apprentice work? Please. Give this Rabbit Lord a few days and he'll master everything. After that, carpentry wages, here I come.
Just then, a villager from Wangjia Village ran over, shouting at the top of his lungs:
"Urgent recruitment! We need a team of road laborers. No skills required—just strength! Work includes stone-digging, mud-digging. Pay settled daily, meals and lodging included. Plus—three jin of white flour a day!"
"Meals, lodging, and three jin of white flour—per day?"
Flat-Rabbit trembled like someone just whispered the location of a secret treasure trove. Mother heavens… no skills needed, pure strength? This job was practically designed for me!
He counted on his fingers. *Carpentry apprentice? No wages at first—just meals. Road laborer? Flour tomorrow. Three jin. White, premium flour. That's the ancient equivalent of being handed a bag of imported bread mix and told to go wild.*¹
Yep. This job is MINE.
Flat-Rabbit launched himself out of the carpenters' line like a torpedo and sprinted to the villager.
"I can do it! I'm super strong!"
Gao Yi-boss, still gathering his apprentices, nearly exploded.
"Hey! You just signed up with me! What are you doing now?!"
Flat-Rabbit replied with the confidence of someone who had never once thought before speaking:
"I want to do whatever's MORE fitting for my talents."
Gao Yi-boss pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Fine, fine. Go dig mud if you want. Clearly you have no eye for future prospects."
He waved his apprentices onward and walked off, muttering something about idiots lowering workplace morale.
Flat-Rabbit cheerfully followed the Wangjia villager. A whole troop of other unskilled laborers followed too, all of them magnetized by the promise of white flour—the era's premium reward system, roughly equivalent to someone shouting "free bubble tea for every hour worked!"
They hadn't walked far when a dramatic troop burst out of Gaojia Fort.
At the front was Cheng Xu, masked like he expected assassins around every corner. Behind him marched Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu, followed by over forty young men looking eager enough to punch a mountain.
Every few steps they roared:
"Kill! Kill! Kill!"
And jabbed their wooden staves forward as one:
"Kill! KILL!!"
Cheng Xu barked:
"Retract! Advance!"
The youths snapped their poles back and continued marching, boots thudding on the ground.
Flat-Rabbit's whole body lit up like a lantern.
"Whoa—WHOA!"
The Wangjia villager gave him a side-eye.
"What are you yelling for?"
"Them! Are they hiring? I want to join that team!"
The villager nearly choked on his own indignation.
"You…! You jumped from carpentry to me, got scolded for it, NOW you want to jump again?! Even frogs don't hop as fast as you!"
Flat-Rabbit beamed proudly.
"Frogs? Please. I am the Rabbit Lord."
The villager stared at him like he was a philosophical problem without a solution.
"Listen. The militia isn't hiring outsiders. They only take reliable local lads with good character. You? You just showed up, no one knows what you are. Forget it—"
He didn't even finish.
Because Flat-Rabbit had already bolted toward the militia like a man possessed, arms spread wide, stopping right in front of Cheng Xu.
"Sir! Are you the militia instructor? Can you—can you PLEASE accept me? I fight REALLY well!"
Cheng Xu tilted his head, examining the man who dared block his path.
Big frame, sure. But clearly starved, exhausted, dressed in rags, and carrying a rusty sword without a sheath.
A true wandering, bottom-tier, DLC-less pugilist.
Cheng Xu sighed.
"My militia does not accept every random cat and dog."
Flat-Rabbit quickly corrected him:
"I'm not a cat or a dog. I'm a rabbit."
Everyone: "…"
Cheng Xu covered his face. Not again. Please, not another headache on legs. I already barely survived Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu this week.
Flat-Rabbit saw their expressions and doubled down.
"I really have great martial arts! Test me!"
Cheng Xu raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? How great? Show me."
Flat-Rabbit puffed out his chest.
"When my sword leaves its sheath—it MUST taste blood before it returns. Its aura is too murderous for mere demonstration. It's only for real combat."
Cheng Xu exploded.
"You don't even HAVE a sheath!"
Flat-Rabbit scratched his cheek.
"Well… I did have one. But… I was kind of broke. Rabbit down on the plains, easily bullied by dogs, you know? I… pawned it."
Everyone: "…"
Cheng Xu burst out laughing in fury.
"Fine! Strike me once. If you beat me, you join. If not, get lost."
"Really?!"
"Really."
"Then I won't hold back!"
Flat-Rabbit whipped out the rusty sword.
"I'm using my ultimate move!!!"
Cheng Xu didn't even blink.
Flat-Rabbit charged in with the exaggerated flourish of someone who learned sword arts from street performances and anime, took a gigantic swing, and shouted:
"HEAVEN–SPLITTING—RABBIT—KING—SLASH!!"
Cheng Xu sidestepped lazily.
Flat-Rabbit planted face-first into the ground with a THUD.
"Go dig your mud." Cheng Xu waved him off.
"Militia—march!"
"YES, SIR!"
The troop thundered away toward Zhengjia Village.
Flat-Rabbit scrambled up, looked left, looked right, then sprinted back to the Wangjia villager like a child who wandered too far from home.
"I'M BACK. I'll go build roads."
The villager sighed so hard it could've powered a windmill.
"You chaotic little gremlin."
Flat-Rabbit scratched his head and grinned.
"Let's go," the villager said. "If we didn't need extra hands right now, I'd have kicked you into the next province."
Flat-Rabbit thumped his chest.
"Don't worry! I'm great at working!"
"You're great at clowning, that's what you're great at," the villager muttered.
"Even Dao Xuan Tianzun would be laughing at you."
"Dao Xuan Tianzun? Who's that?"
"Stick around here long enough and you'll find out."
"Oh."
As they walked, Flat-Rabbit looked back at the militia disappearing into the distance, eyes glowing with envy. He touched his rusty sword with a melancholy sigh.
The jianghu dream… has drifted far, far away.
Time to just… work hard and make money.
From atop the fortress, Li Daoxuan was shoveling a bowl of Buddha Jumps Over the Wall rice soup into his mouth. When he saw Flat-Rabbit's entire clown performance, he nearly sprayed food everywhere.
This new wildling is good. Entertaining. Loud. Stupid in a charming way. Perfect.
Most newcomers acted timidly for days before showing personality. But this self-proclaimed "Rabbit Lord" strutted in like he owned the place.
Oh yes. I can harvest plenty of laughs from this one.
Then Li Daoxuan turned his gaze southwest—and spotted another caravan approaching.
Leading it was none other than Xíng Honglang, the masculine-looking woman with the aura of "I break smugglers for breakfast," followed by thirty or forty private salt traffickers.
Li Daoxuan's eyes lit up.
"Oh ho! Gao Chuwu's love story—chapter two—is about to update!"
Footnotes
Road Work vs. Apprenticeship – Apprentice craftsmen usually earned no salary early on, only meals. Day-labor road work, however, could pay immediately, which is why villagers jumped at the chance like cats hearing sardine cans open.
Militia Training – Gaojia's militia drills mimic real battlefield formations. If you hear forty men yelling "Kill!" in unison… your safest option is usually "not being there."
Flat-Rabbit's Style – Every village has that one guy whose confidence is inversely proportional to his actual abilities. Flat-Rabbit is simply Gaojia's newest endangered species.
"Ultimate Moves" – In wuxia novels, ultimate techniques come with flashy names. Flat-Rabbit's technique is more like a drunken barn dance with a rusty sword.
Xing Honglang – Tall, muscular, and terrifying. Salt smugglers follow her the way ducklings follow a mother goose—if the goose could break an ox in half.