When the weekend arrived, the heavy fog that hung over the Ravencroft Manor felt as if it had lifted every burden that had piled on me for a few weeks. I was waking as I used to; when I washed my face, I recognized the faint circles in the mirror; my body had recovered, and my mind had sharpened again. As I descended to the morgue, the certainty in my steps had returned, and my hand no longer trembled when I wrote in my notebook.
And throughout all this time, neither the stench of cadavers nor the weight of lesson notes, had once allowed the thought of Miss Jane MacLeod to even brush the edge of my mind. I had been so occupied that my thoughts hadn't bothered to curl in that direction even once.
On a Saturday morning, Sebastian knocked on the door; I allowed him to enter.
"Master Adrian," he said with a slight bow. "At Lady Elora's request, I am to deliver a message to you."
I lifted my head from the papers on my desk.
"What does she want?"
"There is a fair in the city today, sir. Jasper and Laurence are preparing to go. They were hoping you would join them."
I remained silent for a moment; my fingers tapped slowly against the edge of the desk.
While I did this, my face displayed neither pleasure nor displeasure, only a neutral attentiveness.
"Tell them to prepare. I'll be down in five minutes."
After Sebastian left, I opened the window. As the cool wind struck my face, for the first time in weeks my mind was completely empty. For a brief moment I felt something that resembled peace… yet deep within my chest, something shifted with a faint sting.
I put on my shirt, waistcoat, jacket. As I adjusted my tie, the look in the mirror sharpened. I had caught up with my siblings just in time.
As the carriage passed through the city, the golden light of the late afternoon streamed through the window, leaving a trembling glow on the four of our faces. Edinburgh's crowd was flowing toward the fairgrounds; the colorful fabrics of the stalls, the distant sound of musicians, the scent of roasted chestnuts… all together carried the atmosphere of a coming festivity.
Elora smoothed the edge of her skirt with her slender fingers and turned toward me.
"I thought you wouldn't come," she said in a soft voice, with a mixture of reproach and faint delight in her gaze.
I inclined my head slightly toward her.
"Of course I'll come. You were the one who asked me to."
My words spread a brief warmth through the carriage. Laurence rested his elbow on his knee and eyed me.
"You're starting to get better, brother. Have the nightmares stopped?"
"I don't have nightmares anymore," I said, surprisingly calmly. "Though nothing could be as horrifying as your dissection dream."
Before Jasper burst into laughter, he covered his mouth with his hand yet he couldn't hold it in.
"Laurence's dream… For God's sake, I still think about it, that skeleton shouting at you, 'you painted it wrong!'—"
At that moment Laurence landed a slap on Jasper's shoulder, sharp as a whip.
"Shut it!"
He was embarrassed that we knew the details of his dream.
Elora laughed as well; then for a moment she turned to me, visibly relieved. I caught her gaze. I winked at her just a brief, subtle smile and Elora's cheeks immediately flushed pink.
As we neared the fairgrounds, the metallic scream of the Ferris wheel echoed from afar. The murmur of the crowd blended with the calls of the vendors. Under Edinburgh's gray sky, it all shone like a strange burst of color; the jingling bells, the clatter of stalls, the loud laughter of people… Together, they had broken apart the city's heavy, stone-scented air.
We climbed down from the carriage and mingled with the crowd alongside my siblings and the servants.
At a stall, Elora held up a tiny glass figurine to me.
"Brother, look. It's beautiful," she said, her voice quivering with hopeful delight.
"Then let's get it, my lady."
As Laurence passed us, he shook his head to himself.
"We should look for a ribbon for you too, Elora."
Jasper snickered and nudged his arm.
"You do understand girls' tastes, Laurence."
"Of course I know, I could have been just as useless as you."
"Hey!"
Elora only laughed at them. Undoubtedly, I was making them happy right now. I was at least for the moment playing the role of a loving, protective, sincere older brother quite well.
Then suddenly, a thin, unsettling shiver crawled down my nape, ruining the act.
The hum of the crowd dulled, receded. Someone's eyes were roaming across my back sharp, focused, insistent.
I turned my head.
From within the crowd, a woman was gliding slowly, deliberately, watching me. Her face dissolved among umbrellas and shifting shadows of passing people. A familiar blankness settled over my expression.
"You go ahead, children. I have something to take care of. I'll find you afterward."
Before my siblings could ask anything, I slipped into the crowd. The woman, as if aware I had seen her, quickened her pace. The colorful stalls and shouted voices swirled around her for a moment more, then gradually faded. With a sharp turn, she entered a narrow alley.
I followed her at the same pace…
The alley was severed entirely from the fair's neon colors. Dampness clung to the walls, and a hollow silence echoed between the stones. There was no music here, no people. Only the two of us.
"I saw you watching me," I said, my breath dissolving into the cold air.
"If you've dragged me into an alley, you must have something important to say. You know, being seen side by side wouldn't be very well received… Mrs. Wood."
The woman slowly turned. Her eyes were fevered; her face carried a tangled trace of both anger and desire. She raised the black fan in her hand setting a thin, private veil between us opening it in a graceful motion that blocked out any stray eyes.
And suddenly, in one swift movement, her lips crashed into mine.
The kiss was a collision caught between desire and fury. Her lipstick smelled sharp, her breath was quick. She bit my lower lip, sucked at it. Then she pulled back, wiping the red smudge she'd left with her thumb.
"The medicines arrived at my home today," she whispered.
"Come to me tonight. I will make you happy."
Margaret walked past me with a satisfied smile and left the alley.
I stood staring after her. Make me happy? How would she possibly manage that? What did she have that could do such a thing? Her corpse would be far more useful. And yet… I had to admire how boldly she'd kissed me while the fair teemed with people. A mad widow. Poison, truly.
But… was a kiss worth the danger? Was I meant to feel thrilled that she had touched with her pretty red lips the mouth I used for eating? Lips were nothing but preliminary tools of reproduction. I could see it clearly, she was desperate to bear my child. My expression twisted into a mix of disgust, surprise, and weary amusement. Finally, I sighed and shook my head.
"This woman… completely insane."
As the noise of the fair seeped back into my ears, I returned to the crowd with a lingering warmth still clinging to my lips. People swirled beneath colorful ribbons, lanterns, and the shouts of vendors; toys squeaked on their wheels, children chased clouds of cotton candy.
When I spotted my siblings from a distance, I quickened my steps, until suddenly an arm slipped in front of me.
A slender, elegant wrist… holding a gray embroidered handkerchief.
"You might want to wipe your mouth, Mr. Ravencroft."
The voice was calm, but there was a fine thread of reprimand woven through it.
I turned my head. Standing before me, in a blue silk gown that seemed to cool the entire fairground, was Miss Jane MacLeod. Her eyes weren't on me, but on the fabrics displayed at the nearby stall.
I took the handkerchief; my fingers tensed despite myself. Pressing it to my lips, I wiped the red trace away. The lipstick on the cloth looked like blood.
"Are you watching me, Miss Jane?"
Jane still hadn't looked at me. She stood there as if she truly cared about the colors of the fabrics beside her. Her fingers pulled toward her a velvet piece, scarlet. She lifted it toward my shoulder, comparing it with the color I wore.
"I'm glad you learned my name, even though I never told you."
My brows drew together. Jane held a green fabric against me, assessing me as though I were a statue she intended to measure. Then she gently returned the cloth to its place.
"Red is good on you."
The sense of superiority she projected, the indifferent yet provoking air she carried… it irritated me in a way I couldn't quite name. While she continued examining fabrics, she behaved as though my presence meant absolutely nothing.
I held the handkerchief back out to her.
"I wonder what other things you know about me, besides the fact red suits me."
At last she turned her head slightly toward me. Her eyes shone with a calm so sharp it felt like it pierced straight through my soul. She didn't smile or even lift a brow.
"I didn't learn that from the fabric… but from Mrs. Margaret's lipstick."
"Mrs. Margaret? Who? You mean Mrs. Margaret whose husband was murdered?"
"To know there's something between you two, I don't have to spy on you, Mr. Ravencroft. When I went to visit her for condolences, seeing you walk out of her door was suspicious enough. But when I caught the scent on your coat, being unable to smell anything but Mrs. Wood's lavender—"
She took the handkerchief from my hand and, with the edge of her thumb, wiped the remaining lipstick from my mustache.
"—and that lavender scent alone was enough for me to make the connection."
Had she smelled me that day?
Or had she not truly come to my house at all, but rather to examine the scent on my clothes? I had underestimated Miss MacLeod's intelligence far too much. Now I wanted to kill her even more.
Well, Mrs. Wood was insane enough to do it for me. Perhaps I could leave that task to her.
I touched the red velvet fabric from earlier; it was soft.
"I don't usually buy fabrics from places like this. You said you understood threads, so I'll assume you have something to do with sewing."
"Yes," she said, looking at the fabrics with me. "My mother loved sewing clothes. That's why I had wonderful dresses growing up. I make my own now."
As she mentioned her mother, I saw her eyes brighten, and for the first time, she smiled,truly smiled. She had probably remembered an old memory. Then that smile slowly faded; her face hardened again as she released the fabric.
"Did you love your mother, Mr. Ravencroft?"
"I think you're a few steps ahead of me, enough to know the answer before I say it, Miss MacLeod. You tell me; did I love my mother?"
Her eyes snapped up to meet mine with a sharp, decisive motion. She looked at me the way I looked at corpses, empty.
"Yes. You did."
"Wrong. I never had a mother."
"That explains why you're like this."
"How? Perfect?"
"No. Selfish and narcissistic. You think you're very clever, very meticulous, very… very flawless."
"I am. Now the part that concerns you, what exactly is it? I may have unknowingly hurt your feelings. Or are you in love with me?"
"No—"
I cut her off; I had no desire to continue this conversation.
"Then why are you following a man who concerns you in no way whatsoever?"
I placed my hand on my chest and leaned a little toward her.
"And I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings, miss. You should try your luck with a man who is actually interested in you." I straightened up, slid my hand into my pocket, and looked down at her with cool disdain. "Anything you think you know about me can't be used as a threat, because I am not hiding any of it. You may tell whoever you want, I don't care. Just stand by what you say, only then you might impress me… enjoy the fair."
Later that evening, a series of events unfolded that made me swallow my words whole. After finishing our shopping with my siblings and sending the servants off with another carriage, and just when it was time for us to depart, when the crowd of the fair had thinned along with the vendors, I remembered I needed to stop by Miss Margaret's house.
Just as I was about to step into the carriage, I stepped back.
"I have something to take care of, you go ahead."
Jasper, both excited and hesitant, said, "Brother… let's do it tonight. The business."
My eyes widened in a way I didn't quite understand. I had no ready plan to kill someone; I wasn't even dressed for it. Did Laurence have his set of brushes with him? Was my medical roll in my pocket? The cleaning supplies? And Elora was still here, and I didn't want her to know my darker side.
"We don't have a plan for this, Jasper. And we don't even have our tools—"
"I brought them!" he said eagerly, his eyes sparkling with a childlike gleam. At that moment, I wasn't sure what surprised me more: his excitement, or the way he ran toward my shadow so willingly. Whoever we were going to kill, I needed to gauge just how far Jasper's fascination with darkness would reach.
"I don't know… I suppose I'll judge you tonight by the person you choose. We'll do whatever the situation calls for. Get out."
My words lit a victorious glow on Jasper's face. He was so happy, it was as if I had given him the greatest gift. He jumped out quickly; behind him followed Laurence with silent steps. And Elora. Elora, who should never be tainted by my darkness, as innocent as a dove before a lamp.
"Elora?" I said sternly. "You're not coming."
"You always exclude me from your sibling activities!"
"It's just work, Elora. You're not coming."
"I am coming."
Breaking Elora's stubbornness was easy. But I didn't want to break her spirit. Still, tonight… tonight I could never allow her to be involved. I took a deep breath and extended my hand.
"Fine, come—but hold my hand. Nothing will happen anyway, unless your brother messes it up."
I allowed Jasper to go ahead with Laurence; we had agreed on a side alley in Edinburgh. I walked slowly with Elora, giving the twins some time.
"Brother, you know I'm a big woman, right? Truly big, big enough to start meeting men for marriage next year."
"I know, my little lady. But I want you to remain your brothers' little princess, so you can have a happy life under my care until the day you leave home."
"I love you, brother. Thank you."
I couldn't quite grasp who I love you was meant to be said to, how could one say I love you to someone they desired sexually and also to someone they didn't? I supposed loving was different from being in love, though the two were close concepts.
I smiled.
"Did you have fun at the fair today?"
"Yes, I wish it could always be a fair."
"Perhaps I should take you to the fairs outside the city as well or the festivals?"
"Would you really do that for me?"
This time, I only smiled softly.
"For you… anything…"
Suddenly, my eyes fixed on a woman entering the alley with the twins.
"That woman… Miss Jane?"