On Mondstadt's bridge, several pigeons pecked lazily at the wheat scattered on the stones. A red puffball scurried past them, but the pigeons didn't even bother to look up.
"Coo coo." (Why isn't that little kid scattering wheat for us?)
"Coo coo coo." (Don't know. Our numbers keep getting smaller lately.)
"Coo coo coo coo." (This morning, my second aunt's uncle's son's brother's nephew was snatched by a woman with golden hair. So scary!)
"Coo coo coo coo." (We'll be safe now. Our boss is keeping watch in the sky.)
A few plump pigeons huddled together, communicating. Before that blonde woman appeared, they pigeons had almost no natural enemies. Now, for the sake of their own lives, the pigeons had just selected the only trained 'lookout pigeon' among them to be their boss.
The boss's task was to patrol the skies. If it spotted that evil blonde woman, it would give the signal. Upon hearing it, the underlings would immediately scatter. Meanwhile, Draff in Springvale, doing a headcount of his pigeons, was puzzled. Why was he missing another pigeon? Which scoundrel had shot it down for a snack again?
"Little pigeon, little pigeon, why are you so... uncoordinated?"
"The weather's so hot. I can see you're suffering from heatstroke. Let me help you find release."
"What a benevolent adeptus I am."
The moment Su Bai stepped onto Mondstadt Bridge, he noticed a pigeon circling persistently in the sky. After observing it, Su Bai, having studied medicine with Baizhu for a few hours, promptly sentenced the pigeon to death. As for the method, Su Bai humanely chose flame roasting. He'd brush on some of Xiangling's secret sauce later... Just thinking about it made his mouth water.
Unaware of its impending doom, the 'lookout pigeon' was happily daydreaming in the sky about which pigeon lady it should spend the evening with. Before it could decide, under a clear, sunny sky, a bolt of lightning suddenly struck it. The heatstroked pigeon plummeted from the sky, trailing black smoke.
Su Bai glanced left and right. Ensuring no one had seen his little trick, he swiftly stored the electrocuted pigeon in his Vision's subspace. Dinner was secured.
"Tap-tap-tap! Hurry up, Brother Su Bai!"
"Coming, coming! Slow down, Klee, don't trip!"
Feeling slightly guilty, Su Bai walked past Timmie. For some reason, ever since zapping that pigeon, an indescribable sense of satisfaction had filled his heart. If not for his strong self-control, he'd definitely have zapped a few more to keep the feeling going.
"This big brother is so nice. He doesn't bully the pigeons."
Timmie watched Su Bai's departing back, bestowing upon him a 'Nice Guy' card. The pigeons, unaware their 'lookout' had been decisively dealt with, remained satisfied by the wheat on the bridge. This would make a certain emergency food craving Sweet Madame very happy later, but that's another story.
To avoid being seen by the Knights of Favonius, Klee led Su Bai toward her secret base. On the way, a bored Su Bai began telling Klee the story of the 108 Heroes of Amber Mountain.
"And there stood the burly man, gripping twin axes, glaring furiously at the person blocking his path!"
"This humble one is Li Dazhuang, the Gray Whirlwind of Amber Mountain! How dare you, petty thief, block your Grandpa Li's way? Prepare to die!"
Having never heard a Liyue story before, Klee listened with rapt attention. Combined with Su Bai's few days of learning storytelling techniques, Klee successfully immersed herself in the tale. Picking up a small stick from the ground, she began waving it around, imitating the characters from the story.
"Ya!"
The distinctive cry of a Hilichurl spotting enemies sounded from a patch of grass, interrupting Su Bai's story. Klee pouted. She hadn't heard enough.
The Hilichurls didn't care if Klee had heard enough. Rustling sounds came from the grass. Su Bai warily pulled Klee behind him. Soon, three Hilichurls wielding small shields jumped out from the tall grass.
"Nini! Zida!"
"And here I thought it was something serious. Just a few Hilichurls. Are the Hilichurls in Mondstadt always this bold?"
Though the Hilichurls wore masks, preventing Su Bai from seeing their faces, he could still sense the threatening intent in their cries. Looked like they wanted to rob someone.
Su Bai quietly began circulating Electro energy within. Just three Hilichurls daring to ambush people? This was truly eye-opening.
Unlike Su Bai's disdain, Klee's eyes lit up upon seeing the Hilichurls as if she'd spotted something fun. She immediately tossed aside her small stick, pulled a Jumpy Dumpty from her backpack, and lobbed it at the feet of one Hilichurl.
"This humble one is Klee of Mondstadt! How dare you petty thieves try to rob your Grandpa Klee? Prepare to die!"
Klee's words instantly petrified Su Bai, who had been gathering Electro energy beside her. 'What sin have I committed?' Su Bai's heart felt even more shattered than the three Hilichurls being chased and blown up by the bouncing bomb.
He wanted to slap himself. Why had he told Klee that story? Now, if Acting Grand Master Jean found out he'd taught Klee to act like this, she'd never agree to let Klee go to Liyue with him.
Klee's Jumpy Dumpty was highly effective. A single bomb sent all three Hilichurls packing. However, Su Bai had no mind now to ponder why Klee's bombs bounced around and were so powerful. He just wanted Klee to forget the story he'd just told.
"Hmph! Petty tricks, daring to show off before the master. Now you know Klee's power!"
Hands on her hips, Klee imitated the story's protagonist, tilting her head back, putting on an air of disdain. But little Klee's inherent cuteness made such an expression impossible. Su Bai, utterly charmed, tilted his head back. It would be awkward if a nosebleed started while he was trying to lecture her later.
"Ahem, little Klee... you know, the story Brother Su Bai told you was just a story."
"Some of the words and strange actions in the story aren't for good little girls to learn, okay?"
Su Bai patted Klee's head. Klee nodded, half understanding. No wonder she couldn't understand a word Big Sister Fischl said. So Big Sister Fischl wasn't a good girl...
Although Klee now knew she shouldn't say those things, the bloody story had left a deep impression on her heart. This would later lead her to quickly become best friends with a certain horned little girl after following Su Bai to Liyue Harbor.
Meanwhile, in Liyue Harbor, a certain horned little girl who had just overturned a dishonest vendor's stall was being carried over Zhongli's shoulder. The restless little girl gnashed her teeth, pounding Zhongli's back with her little fists.
"Morax! Let go of this lord! Damn it! That brat dared to charge this lord three thousand Mora for a piece of awful grilled meat? Is he insane?"
"Daring to scam this lord! Next time this lord catches you swindling people, your grandpa here will turn you into fertilizer and bury you under the Vortex VanquisherTree!"