Starfell Lake, as one of Mondstadt's freshwater-rich lakes, nurtures countless forms of life in the surrounding area.
However, today, those poor little creatures were being mercilessly captured by a terrifying demon and tossed into the depths of evil.
"One frog… two frogs… huh? There's another lizard over there. Hey—little lizard, don't run!"
Diona chased after the lizard while holding a small cloth bag. The bag was already bulging. Hidden in the grass, the frogs and lizards silently watched their hero—the brave little lizard that had drawn the demon away.
"Gua—gua." (I think we should unite.)"Sss—sss." (Let's unite!)"Gua-gua-gua." (We attack from the front and flank from behind. A pincer attack—we'll defeat the demon for sure!)"Sss—sss." (Brilliant idea, brother! May I ask your name?)"Gua." (You flatter me. I'm not that smart. The others just call me 'Big Brain.')
Just as this frog was basking in the admiration of its companions, it suddenly felt the sunlight grow unusually harsh. Before it could react, the grass above was pushed aside, and a small hand reached down, lifting it straight into the air with tremendous force.
"What's wrong with this frog? Knows I'm nearby and still croaks so boldly—could its brain be broken or something? Forget it, I'll let this one go. I'll just catch some others."
With that, Diona casually tossed the frog aside and turned to chase the others.
Meanwhile, Su Bai wasn't idle either. Earlier, while chatting on the way over, he'd overheard Diona mention that she hadn't gone on a picnic in a long time. Since there was nothing else to do, he decided to gather some firewood and set up a picnic.
"Diona, you keep catching them. I'll go borrow some fire."
Standing by Starfell Lake, Su Bai looked into the distance and spotted a Hilichurl patrolling with a torch. Without hesitation, he sent a surge of Electro energy skyward. A bolt of lightning came crashing down, striking the Hilichurl square in the head. Before it could even scream, it was reduced to ashes.
"Yoink."
Su Bai happily picked up the torch that fell to the ground. He sincerely hoped that he'd encounter more such helpful Hilichurls in the future. That way, he wouldn't even need to look for firewood—just use their torches as campfires.
After setting up the fire with practiced ease, Su Bai figured there was still time and went over to the lake. He flicked his two tails onto the surface of the water, the pointed tips gently bobbing up and down.
Seeing this, Diona couldn't help but think Su Bai's brain might be just as broken as that frog earlier. If fishing were really this easy, her dad wouldn't come home empty-handed every single time.
"Big Fox, stop messing around with your tail. Once I'm done catching these frogs, I'll get you a couple of fish."
"Shh, Little Diona. Haven't you heard the story of the Geo Archon fishing? Those who are willing will bite."
Diona puffed out her cheeks. She was already thinking about how to ease the awkwardness later—after all, as the only person who shared her goal of overthrowing Mondstadt's alcohol industry (?), she didn't want her ally to run away out of embarrassment.
"They're biting."
Su Bai suddenly flicked his tail upward. Two plump perch that had latched onto it were flung into the air, tracing perfect arcs before slamming onto the ground and losing consciousness.
"Been a while since I used my tail to fish. Looks like my skills haven't dulled. Perch loses flavor if it dies, though."
"Little Diona, why are you just standing there? Done catching frogs and lizards? Let's grill some fish."
Diona stared at Su Bai's tails… then at her own.
Why were they both tails, yet his was so competent?
"Coming, coming. Since you caught the fish, I'll grill them. Let me show you the Katzlein clan's grilling skills—my dad taught me. It'll definitely taste better than any grilled fish you've had."
Having barely eaten all morning, Diona decided to spare the frogs and lizards for now. She could resume her battle against them after filling her stomach.
By the campfire, Diona expertly flipped the fish. The perch's fat dripped into the flames with a sizzling sound, the aroma making Su Bai swallow involuntarily.
"Oh right, Big Fox—are you related to the Katzlein clan? In Mondstadt, only we Katzleins have ears and tails."
"Nope. I'm from Liyue. I'm only in Mondstadt to handle some matters. You're close with Klee, right? She asked me the same thing."
"Klee? She's my friend too! Big Fox, if you dare bully Klee, I'll beat you up."
Seeing Diona's fierce-yet-adorable expression, Su Bai acted on impulse and patted her head.
That single motion made Diona's fur stand on end.
"Big Fox! How dare you touch my head?! Only my dad is allowed to do that!"
"Your dad? Sounds like he must be an impressive person in your eyes."
At the mention of her father, Diona looked proud. In her mind, as long as alcohol wasn't involved, her dad was the greatest person in the world.
"Hmph. Big Fox, one day we'll defeat Mondstadt's alcohol industry together. When that happens, Mondstadt will be free of drunkards."
"Yeah—...huh??"
Wait—since when did he agree to destroy Mondstadt's alcohol industry? Su Bai's mind short-circuited. Weren't they here to deal with frog sashimi and lizard sashimi? How did this turn into taking down the wine business?
"Little Diona… if the goal is to destroy the alcohol industry, why are you catching so many frogs and lizards?"
At first, Su Bai thought she planned to drug the food, so people would get sick and stop drinking. But from what she said, that clearly wasn't the case—and now he was genuinely confused.
Diona smacked her forehead.
"Oh right! I haven't told you my plan yet. My bad."
"Big Fox, I'm a bartender at the Cat's Tail. If I mix drinks with strange ingredients and make alcohol taste terrible, then the alcohol industry will collapse! And then my dad won't drink anymore!"
Bartending.Strange ingredients.Frogs.Lizards.
Su Bai's expression turned increasingly unnatural.
This innocent child wouldn't seriously be using frogs and lizards to make cocktails… right?
"Well… Diona, what do you usually use when you mix drinks? Tell me—maybe I can help you find more."
"In the past, I used bitter medicinal herbs from Liyue and small animals. But since Stormterror showed up, herbs are too expensive. So now I can only use frog legs and lizard tails."
Su Bai's face twitched.
What in the Archons' name was this situation?
So the culprit… was right beside him all along?