The morning began with the same battle:
me vs. my blanket.
My blanket won.
I finally dragged myself out of bed when my second alarm screamed louder than my mom does when I forget to switch off the fan.
I splashed water on my face, tied my hair into a ponytail that looked like it had survived a tornado, grabbed my bag, and stepped outside.
As always, Advi was waiting at my gate with her "you're late" face.
"You took thirty years," she said.
"It was ten minutes."
"Same thing."
We walked together, like always.
We're not "best friends" — not the dramatic tearing-heart-out-for-each-other type — but we come to school together, so everyone assumes we're glued at the hip.
Her group is hers.
My group is mine: Mira, Sana, and Zoe.
If chaos had a headquarters, it would be us.
But as we walked, my brain started its daily morning ritual:
panic.
It happens like this — I start thinking about the future…
then about my parents…
their expectations…
then about Sarvin…
and suddenly the fear hits.
What if I fail?
What if I don't get a good career?
What if I'm just stuck forever taking care of everything and everyone?
That fear… that tightness in my chest… that shaking in my fingers…
That's my real trauma.
Not Adi.
Not Derek.
Not anything else.
"Arista, are you listening?" Advi snapped me out of it.
"Yeah," I lied.
---
School Entrance – My People, My Headache
Mira waved dramatically like she was a Bollywood heroine.
Sana stood with that "I'm judging all of you" expression she was born with.
Zoe… was trying to open her bottle backwards again.
"Give me that," I said, flipping it for her.
"It betrayed me," she whispered.
"Sure."
Then suddenly—
"ARISTA!!"
Zoe yelled like she had spotted a ghost.
I nearly jumped. "What?"
"Guess who I saw!"
I blinked. "Who?"
She pointed behind us with the excitement of someone announcing free pizza.
I turned.
And there he was.
Kaelor.
Laughing loudly like the world was his comedy show.
Running a hand through his hair.
Acting like rules were optional.
Untucked shirt.
Stupid smile.
Pen spinning like he was auditioning for a circus.
Last year, in Section C, I barely noticed him.
He was the clown — the boy who made everyone laugh, irritated teachers, and only behaved like a saint when the teacher was staring directly at him.
That was also when I made the terrible decision of dating Roger.
Sometimes I look back and wonder if I hit my head that year
Roger was sweet at first…
then controlling…
then the biggest red flag I've ever seen.
When my parents found out, they scolded me so badly I cried for two hours.
Not because of him — but because of the disappointment on their faces.
And when he got caught with gracy in the bathroom and both were expelled…
Yeah.
That closed that chapter.
Then, by the end of the semester, I moved to Section A.
And suddenly…
I started noticing Kaelor.
A little too much.
"Arista," Mira whispered, "you're staring."
"No I'm not."
"You are. Like a whole CCTV camera."
I pretended to look at the wall.
The wall did not help.
He looked up.
Our eyes met.
My stomach did gymnastics.
I spun around so fast I bumped into a teacher again.
"Walk properly!" she snapped.
"Yes ma'am sorry ma'am I am malfunctioning ma'am."
My friends nearly died laughing.
---
Class — Brain: 1, Me: 0
I sat down, opened my notebook, and tried to focus.
But the fear hit again — quietly, suddenly.
Future.
Responsibility.
Sarvin.
Pressure.
Fear of failing.
Fear of disappointing my parents.
Fear of not becoming anything.
My chest tightened.
My breathing went off rhythm.
A small panic attack.
I lowered my head on the desk.
Mira leaned closer. "Hey… breathe. Slowly. I'm right here."
I nodded.
Her voice grounded me.
The room stopped spinning.
---
Break — Drama Zone Activated
The bell rang and we gathered in the corridor.
Zoe was jumping like she had important breaking news.
"So," Sana said, "the boy who kept staring at you today—"
"Who?" I asked nervously.
"Derek," she said.
My stomach dropped.
Derek.
My first crush.
Eight stupid years.
And the day I finally wrote him a letter…
he tore it.
In front of the class.
Didn't say a word.
Just tore it.
Gave the pieces to my friends like they were worksheets.
They returned it to me, and I threw it into the dustbin.
That was the day I buried all feelings for him.
"He keeps staring," Sana added. "Like… noticing you."
"Maybe he's checking if I have a part two of the letter," I muttered.
Zoe choked on air laughing.
Then came Meera's issue for the day.
She told us Arvin — her childhood friend from Class 8 — confessed to her last night over the phone.
Meera rejected him gently.
They're still friends.
But our entire group is convinced something feels off.
I sighed. "Why do we all attract dramatic people?"
"Because we ARE dramatic people," Sana replied.
Fair.
---
Home — Part Love, Part Stress
When I reached home, I sensed the familiar tension.
Dad was at the dining table, staring at his laptop.
He's a sweet person.
Soft-spoken.
Calm.
But when it comes to studies…
he becomes a totally different human being.
"Arista," he said, "you need to increase your output. You're losing focus. You must study harder."
I nodded, even though my chest tightened again.
Mom called from the kitchen, "Take care of Sarvin, I need to finish cooking!"
That's when I finally breathed.
I went to Sarvin's room.
He was on the floor, arranging puzzle pieces in perfect straight lines — his comfort world.
He looked up, eyes soft.
Handed me a puzzle piece.
His way of saying:
"Sit with me."
And so I did.
We sat together on the floor, quietly building the corner of a puzzle.
This —
this is the only peaceful moment I have at home.
Just me and my little brother.
No expectations.
No fear.
No panic.
Just quiet.
---
Night — Group Chat Chaos
Mira: He kept looking at you, admit it.
Sana: You're blushing.
Zoe: I think Kaelor is allergic to discipline.
Advi: Goodnight I have no energy for your love story.
I smiled like an idiot.
Because even though life feels heavy…
and confusing…
and overwhelming…
something about this slow, warm, stupid spark around Kaelor makes everything feel lighter.
Like something is quietly beginning.
Something I don't understand yet.
But I will.
Someday