The Imperial University student forum was on fire.
The pinned megathread "Senior Gu Xun's Daily Execution (Live Updates 5AM Sharp)" had cracked thirty-two million views and was actively DDoSing the campus servers for the third time this week.
Every new photo hit like crack:
- Gu Xun on his knees alphabetising vials while the twins napped on their plush "comfort nest."
- Gu Xun is wearing the fresh black tee that reads I AM LU RIN'S UNPAID INTERN (ASK HIM IF I'M HOUSEBROKEN YET).
- Gu Xun was smiling like a kicked puppy while carrying six bags and a dog bed that wasn't even for him.
The comment section was a bloodbath of memes, crying emojis, and thirst posts from people who hated that they were attracted to the grovel.
But the real war started when Su Wanwan logged on.
Su Wanwan (Ω23, literature major, president of the Ice Lotus Defence Squad, author of the ongoing 527k-word slow-burn vengeance fic "Frostbound Empire") was vibrating with righteous fury in the library.
Her jasmine pheromones had gone full attack mode, sharp enough to make the Beta at the next table sneeze blood.
She opened the main ILDS Discord, slammed the @everyone ping, and dropped the manifesto.
🚨 OPERATION: EXILE THE WOLF 🚨
Official Statement from the Ice Lotus Defence Squad (52k members and growing)
Listen up, soldiers.
Do NOT be seduced by the kneeling and the glitter shirts.
Gu Xun is not reformed. He is a calculated predator playing 4D chess with our God's trauma.
Fact check:
- Abandoned pregnant Omega → caused miscarriage
- Disappeared for five years → built nothing but guilt
- Suddenly enrols in the SAME department → "coincidence" my ass
- Uses literal toddlers as emotional bait → diabolical
This is not grovel. This is advanced stalking with extra steps.
Our Ice Lotus came back to conquer perfumery, not to babysit a 29-year-old freshman who cries on command.
Therefore:
The ILDS declares TOTAL WAR on Gu Xun.
Objective: permanent campus exile.
Methods (non-toxic, we have standards):
1. Mass email bomb the dean: "Hostile environment created by public self-flagellation."
2. Pheromone neutralisers outside the annexe 24/7. Let the dog choke on his own resin.
3. Propaganda blitz: banners, flyers, LED truck looping "FIVE YEARS TOO LATE, BITCH."
4. Petition for protective order (we'll fake the signatures if we have to).
For the Lotus. For the twins. For the scar he left.
— Su Wanwan, Supreme Commander & Chief Fic Author
Within ten minutes the thread had 8k replies.
Betas were printing banners. Omegas were pooling money for industrial-grade scent blockers. Someone started a GoFundMe titled "Therapy Fund for Lu Rin (Also Truck Rental)."
Phase one launched at 2:00 p.m.
Fifty ILDS members in matching lavender armbands blocked the hallway outside the Perfumery Annexe like a very dramatic SWAT team.
Su Wanwan stood front and centre, clutching a hand-calligraphed scroll that looked stolen from a period drama.
Gu Xun rounded the corner at exactly 2:17 p.m., arms full of post-nap snacks for the twins and Lu Rin's 83°C tea balanced precariously on top.
He stopped. Blinked. Smiled the purest, most brain-dead golden retriever smile in existence.
"Afternoon, everyone! Are we protesting solvent prices? I can donate if—"
Su Wanwan thrust the scroll forward like a declaration of war.
"Gu Xun! In the name of the Ice Lotus Defence Squad and thirty million witnesses, we demand you cease your harassment and leave this campus forever!"
The crowd roared. Phones were out. Livestream titles popped up instantly:
#ILDSvsCampusDog
#ExileTheEx
Gu Xun listened politely, head tilted, tea still perfectly balanced.
"I appreciate the passion," he said sincerely. "Truly. But my presence is at Lu Rin's direct command. If he wants me gone, I'll vanish before you finish the sentence."
He pulled out his phone, thumbs flying.
Text to Rin-rin ❤️:
Your defenders are requesting my exile for your peace.
One word from you and I disappear forever.
I only breathe where you allow.
Thirty-three seconds later the reply came.
From Rin-rin ❤️:
You are contractually required for lab assistance.
Absence = course failure = expulsion.
The fan club's feelings are irrelevant.
Bring the tea before it drops below 80°C or I'll fail you for incompetence.
Gu Xun's entire face lit up like he'd been handed a winning lottery ticket.
He looked up at the stunned army, bowed ninety degrees, and gently parted the crowd like Moses with snacks.
"Apologies, comrades. The Ice Lotus has spoken. My harassment is apparently mandatory for his GPA."
He paused beside Su Wanwan, carefully straightened her crooked armband, and added in a whisper only she could hear:
"Your devotion is beautiful. If you ever need a beta reader for chapter 68 of Frostbound Empire, I'm available 24/7. The slow-burn is exquisite."
Su Wanwan's jaw dropped. The scroll crumpled.
Gu Xun strolled past the defeated battalion, tea still steaming, hips practically wagging.
Behind him, the ILDS Discord exploded.
[Ω23]: HE READ MY FIC???
[βDragon]: he just complimented the slow burn
[ΩCherry]: I think I just became a double agent
[AdminWanwan]: DO NOT WAVER. HE IS USING PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE.
But the damage was done.
The livestream chat scrolled at lightspeed:
- "Did the dog just flirt with the general"
- "I'm suddenly team dog"
- "Ice Lotus literally said 'stay and suffer' and we're mad???"
Su Wanwan stared at her ruined scroll, jasmine scent wilting into confused defeat.
The dog had won the first skirmish.
Not by fighting.
By rolling over and exposing his belly so thoroughly that even the warriors couldn't stab it.
The war raged on.
But the fandom was starting to crack.
Lu Rin overrides the entire fan club with a single text, locking Gu Xun into continued daily humiliation. The dog is officially indispensable.