Chapter 24 — To Master Divine Skill, One Must First Castrate Oneself
Etihad Stadium
"Ding-dong"
"Please choose 'Training' or 'Match' mode."
"Match."
"Please select your position on the pitch: A Forward, B…"
"A."
"Detected that the host's team and the opponent are of similar strength, but the host has an agreement with a 'god'. Completing the agreed content requires matching the host with two attributes: [False No.9-Mei] and [Golden-Edged Loro]."
"The host's current physical capabilities are incompatible with these attributes. This system will extract the host's kidney water for the next six months to enhance current physical strength. The host will be impotent in sexual matters for half a year."
What does that mean?
Lin Pingzhi?!
Holy shit!
I don't want this!
A man can be poor, can be useless, but must not be mutilated!
I was joking with Mario Balotelli — and anyway, he's no longer the Balotelli-god now…
Of course the system wouldn't care about Xia Qi; this is one of the system's flaws — not humane enough.
I've had enough. I swear, at most one season, and I'll cut ties with you…
…
"[False No.9-Mei] freely switches between the No.9 striker and the No.10 attacking midfield position, acting both as the attacking organizer and the finisher — commonly called the nine-and-a-half. [Golden-Edged Loro] gives dribbling like a swarm and scoring like a swarm — a dual-swarm trait, nicknamed the ruthless tycoon."
These two attributes are basically a nuclear combo,
but,
to practice divine skill, one must first castrate oneself.
Want or not?
Anyway, Xia Qi already had thoughts of independence.
"Please choose 'Autonomous Mode' or 'One-Click Auto' mode."
"Friendly reminder: During auto mode, the system will automatically perform all required actions for the host."
Bullshit!
Still a single choice!
I choose Autonomous Mode — can I get my kidney back?
Since I'm about to be shaved, of course,
"One-Click Auto."
…
Beep!
Sergio Agüero plays the ball to Javi García. After City recycle a few passes in their backline the ball returns to Agüero's feet.
"...the ball is at Agüero's feet. He steps over, Aaron Ramsey is beaten..."
Agüero steps over, with an odd rhythm, tricking the long-out-of-form Aaron Ramsey.
He then uses a simple and practical body-and-ball split to get past Santi Cazorla.
Cutting inside into the box, with a large change of direction, he finds a time difference against Laurent Koscielny — Koscielny can't sync in time.
That gives Agüero a shooting angle.
Not a big angle, but enough!
In a flash of lightning,
the ball rockets toward the far corner. Vito Mannone has no time to react; his raised hand looks more like surrender.
Luckily, the ball thudded against the upper-right post and bounced out over the line.
"Agüero's shot had very high quality — tremendous power, a vicious angle, a beautiful trajectory, just a bit unlucky."
Not long after the kick-off, City gave their far-traveling guests a wake-up call.
Mannone takes the goal kick.
Xia Qi and Aaron Ramsey immediately surge forward.
Mikel Arteta crosses without trapping; the ball drops to Aaron Ramsey's feet.
The AI immediately controls Xia Qi's body to charge into the penalty area.
Xia Qi panics.
Isn't [Golden-Edged Loro] supposed to, as the name suggests, break down the flank, cutting as it goes leaving carnage in its wake? What's with this straight run into the box?
Seeing Aaron Ramsey nutmeg David Silva and sprint toward the byline, he seems to understand something.
On the flank, Gaël Clichy doesn't want Ramsey to get to the byline and rushes up to intercept.
But Ramsey doesn't want to tangle with him. As Clichy lunges in to tackle, Ramsey lays the ball off to Mikel Arteta who had come up in support.
Then he calmly skirts past Clichy and receives Arteta's return pass.
A wall-pass combination.
Aaron Ramsey surges forward, retrieves the ball, glances into the box at the twitchy Xia Qi.
He mentally praises: "This youngster — big body, great intelligence!"
Compare him with Lukas Podolski strolling on the left — the two men's football IQs are worlds apart.
No more talk — a sudden cross.
In the box,
the ball moves,
Xia Qi moves,
and instantly darts to the front of goal.
The Xia Qi inside his head is puzzled — how is Ramsey's pass to the near post possible?
Am I that bad?
The AI-Xia Qi moves,
and Vincent Kompany next to him triggers too; it has little to do with the ball's trajectory — Kompany's primary role is to mark Xia Qi.
Attack and defense are a needle-to-grain confrontation. In most cases, preventing the opponent from getting what he wants is the first step on the right path.
So Kompany accelerates, chooses a front-wrapping defense, reins his body into Xia Qi's sprint lane, taking half a body position.
However, at that instant Xia Qi suddenly slams his front foot and brakes, then sprints backward.
The Xia Qi in his head suddenly understands — the forward run was a tactic, an overt strategy.
"Watch out!"
A teammate's shout reaches his ear; dark clouds loom, and Joleon Lescott realizes instantly.
He's no thin stick like Sinclair.
He's the man who City offered four times the price for — Mancini's first pick in the million-pound backline!
Xia Qi,
come on,
fight!
When two armies meet the brave win!
But don't be arrogant!
Lescott was arrogant; at the critical moment he failed to secure the ball but charged toward the secondary problem — Xia Qi.
"Ding — detected the host has fallen into difficulty. [Golden-Edged Loro] attribute activated."
"Precise target searching…"
"Target Lescott locked…"
The two collide in the air,
and a force that makes Lescott doubt his life pushes him backward, completely shattering the confident guy's heart.
He actually lost,
the million-pound first-choice defender got beaten by Mancini's discarded player!
Old man Mancini, your eye for talent is really off!
You judged Xia Qi wrong.
His mentality collapses.
After Xia Qi dispatches his opponent, he hangs in the air noticeably, tucks in and twists his waist, heading a powerful contact toward the ball.
The ball screams and changes direction, hurtling toward City's goal.
Aaron Ramsey sees Xia Qi's headed clearance — the ball is fast and precisely aimed.
He doesn't wait for it to cross the line before leaping onto Arteta's back and starting to celebrate.
In the stands, City fans fall silent — the better Xia Qi is, the more it hurts them.
But!
Joe Hart does not give up!
When Lescott charged at Xia Qi, Hart was already preparing.
As a good friend of Xia Qi and Mario Balotelli, he knows Xia Qi better than Lescott.
They say Mark Zuckerberg looks like a robot; in Hart's mind Xia Qi is a robot — not just "like".
So Lescott was doomed.
Sure enough, Lescott got schooled.
Hart quickly judged the ball's speed and direction in fractions of a second, dived instinctively, and in mid-air snapped his body upright like a South American shrimp, stretching his right arm with all his might.
Just as the ball was about to fall behind the goal line, he punched it out with one hand.
An extraordinary save!
"Sss..."
Xia Qi sucked in a cold breath at Hart's godlike save.
Etihad Stadium became a sea of blue; the tall blond boy at the center of that sea was Joe Hart.
Tonight he was not the Joe Hart who gets lucky; tonight he was the Joe Hart whose ten saves can turn Lionel Messi into a famous meme.
(END CHAPTER)
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