Chapter 17 — Don't Blame the Team Fight, the Host Is a Doofus
Back at the Colney training base, Arsène Wenger called Xia Qi into his office.
No one else knows exactly what the two discussed in that nearly hour-long conversation.
But the Professor was in a good mood for the days that followed.
Wenger was seen around Colney more often.
Xia Qi was still Xiaqi — a fairy on the pitch, a shy sprite off it.
The teammates gradually accepted that geniuses can have quirks.
Xia Qi's persona was that he worked seriously and meticulously.
Teammates often joked: "Do you have German genes in your ancestry?"
On Tuesday,
Xia Qi's parents arrived,
and he took them on a tour of Colney.
Wenger accepted the "Fuding white tea" Xia Qi's parents gave and returned a bottle of Bordeaux — Château Lussac, a 1982 AOC wine.
Wenger said the wine was more precious than Lafite.
Xia Qi's parents didn't understand wine; they only knew it was expensive and were reluctant to open it, keeping it to gift someone.
The conversation was pleasant. Arsenal's coaches — Wenger, Pat Rice, and others — did not act superior but treated them like visiting family.
During the chat Wenger invited Xia Qi's parents to watch Arsenal's match at the weekend.
When they learned Xia Qi would definitely play, they happily agreed.
With that settled, there was time and they asked to use the base canteen to make a Chinese meal to thank everyone for their hospitality.
Wenger agreed.
Chinese noodles were added to Colney's menu — a source of pride for Xia Qi's parents and for Chinese cuisine.
What won over Colney's nutritionist were the scallion pork xiaolongbao and Lanzhou hand-pulled noodles; these two dishes were added to the players' breakfast and dinner lists.
They proved popular across training squads.
Actually during those days Xia Qi's parents didn't know exactly what the players should eat; in three days they made many dishes.
They steamed xiaolongbao and soup dumplings, made dumplings, knife-cut noodles and hand-pulled noodles, and stir-fried several Chinese dishes like Pingyao beef, Shanxi sweet-and-sour fish, white-cut chicken, and steamed pork from Dingxiang…
For some reason the nutritionist liked the xiaolongbao and Lanzhou noodles but not the dumplings or white-cut chicken. Xia Qi thought the dumplings and white-cut chicken fit nutritional standards and also should be added.
White-cut chicken was the dish the system had prescribed for Xia Qi; as Shanxi natives his parents had wasted many ingredients over the years trying to perfect it.
Unfortunately teammates missed the white-cut chicken.
What Xia Qi regretted most was that the soul of the noodles — sesame chili oil — didn't make it into the canteen. Each time he saw teammates pouring tomato sauce into his pulled noodles, a salty-food lover like Xia Qi shuddered.
Thank goodness his parents didn't have time to make doufunao (tofu pudding), otherwise he couldn't imagine being surrounded by a bunch of dessert-lovers.
On Friday, Xia Qi had double happiness.
First, he was included on the weekend squad list — as Wenger had promised his parents.
Second, his song "Haidi" finally resurfaced and climbed to number five on the European pop charts.
Xia Qi gained a little fame outside of football.
He received offers to perform and requests to sing, but he threw them all in the trash.
"Son, do one thing and love it. Don't be half-hearted…"
"Don't worry! I only love football…"
"Haidi" was hot, Alice was hot too, and Jack's family treated Xia Qi more kindly.
The two families met and felt a bit like formally getting to know in-laws.
The mood was off!
Xia Qi excused himself and saw Alice and his mother whispering and laughing like two blossoming flowers.
Only then did his anxious heart settle.
Mothers-in-law don't usually get along with daughters-in-law; Alice clearly wasn't a good match.
Sunday,
the Emirates Stadium.
Arsenal at home hosted Southampton.
Wenger gave Xia Qi's parents a VIP box — the so-called "watch together" meant they'd be in the box while he sat in the coaching area.
But don't doubt Wenger's sincerity — tonight he started Xia Qi.
This was also Xia Qi's first Premier League start.
Southampton, newly promoted, had been joyfully moving up but found the Premier League a deep sea — they had yet to gain a point and were expected to struggle tonight against Arsenal.
"This match Arsenal's starting XI has some changes. Goalkeeper Wojciech Szczęsny returns to the starting lineup, and the defense has Djourou replacing Kieran Gibbs.
Mikel Arteta and Santi Cazorla play as a double pivot, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain on the left and Theo Walcott on the right. Left winger is Lukas Podolski, right winger is Xia Qi.
Olivier Giroud isn't in the 18-man squad; he's probably resting!
Arsenal's injury list includes Jack Wilshere, Tomáš Rosický, Aaron Ramsey…
And Andrey Arshavin, Kieran Gibbs, Laurent Koscielny are on the bench."
The Chinese broadcast for the match still had Zhang Lu and Zhan Jun on commentary, and Zhang Lu quickly read the starting lineups.
"Ding-dong!"
"Please host choose…"
"…"
"Detected the host's team has a dimensionality-reducing advantage. Matching host with [Teamfight Radar] attribute."
"In teamfights don't fight for monsters; the host is a doofus. With Teamfight Radar active, the host will be the first to grab the second rebound point."
Xia Qi's education wasn't high, but he could grasp the literal meaning.
This radar wasn't like the tactical radar in Kevin De Bruyne's or Xavi's head.
It was a positioning radar for second balls — specifically the second arrival point.
Was it saying that his teammates would give up chances tonight?
Xia Qi knew whether it was the main striker Podolski or the wingers Walcott and Oxlade-Chamberlain, they all dreamt of scoring.
But this attribute seemed to tell him his teammates' appetite might be poor tonight.
Wasn't that a little cruel?
Xia Qi glanced guiltily at his three partners: don't blame me for grabbing the chance — it's all system (fate).
"One-click Auto!"
When Xia Qi chose one-click auto, many female fans in the stands cheered, shouting, "Hubby, go!"
Green with envy, all the teammates.
Even Southampton's players' eyes showed envy and resentment!
Xia Qi wanted to tell them that these Arsenal fans were shallow — they hadn't seen his interesting soul and would never like their disastrous looks.
The match began. Thomas Vermaelen won the toss and chose possession; Arsenal kicked off.
Southampton were the weaker side and Arsenal pressed forward aggressively.
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain started lively down the left. After a two-man block he passed to Lukas Podolski, who chest-controlled and wanted to drive but was singled out by Southampton's defensive focus because of his profile.
With no option, Podolski reluctantly passed to his competitor — Xia Qi.
They were partners and rivals.
That pass came with some reluctance and off-aim; it looked more like a pass to an opponent.
The ball's landing point was three meters from Southampton's left-back Høiveld and at least six meters from Xia Qi.
By all appearances it should be Southampton's ball.
If it had been someone else on the pitch, they would have conceded and waited for Høiveld to pick it up.
But Xia Qi was AI; how could he understand human feelings?
He sprinted after the ball like the wind; Høiveld jumped in surprise, and Podolski also startled.
This kid was going to eat it raw!
What a foot-scent energy this child possessed!
The swooning girls in the stands cheered as if victory was already certain.
Goalkeeper: 1 Davis
Defenders: 5 Høiveld, 6 José Fonte, 13 Fox, 2 Clyne
Midfield: 8 Davis, 16 Prowse, 4 Morgan Schneiderlin, 20 Adam Lallana
Forwards: 42 Jason Puncheon, 7 Rickie Lambert
(END CHAPTER)
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