— What an amazing boy, isn't he? Sharp-tongued, quick-witted, and not bad-looking. And what's most important, he managed to drag my precious little sister out to an event that you were boycotting by all means. I'm almost jealous, — Haruno crossed one leg over the other, gazing mockingly at Yukino, who had turned away to the window.
— Did you find yourself another toy? — the girl snapped.
— Oh, are you angry? — the elder Yukinoshita clicked her tongue. — And who said my intentions were a joke? Maybe I am completely serious.
Her sister abruptly turned around, poorly concealed surprise in her eyes.
— You have a terrible sense of humor, — controlling her emotions, she said as calmly as possible.
— Perhaps, — Haruno did not deny. — But, one way or another, you went to the festival with friends, and cast family matters aside? That's not good, little sister. Does Mother know?
Yukino involuntarily winced, eliciting a satisfied smile from her companion.
— She doesn't know? Oh, our Yukino has grown up so fast, running away from home without telling anyone, — the elder Yukinoshita wiped an invisible tear from her cheek. — Mother's heart will be broken...
The younger sister ignored her words, turning back to the window. Haruno, however, paid no attention to it.
— But that's alright, because you can trust your older sister; she'd never betray your secrets, especially your feelings for a certain boy.
Her smile grew as wide as it could be when Yukino, practically flinching, sharply turned back around.
— I have no feelings for him! We are just friends! — the girl heatedly raised her voice.
— Oh-ho, so that's how it is, — Haruno, pleased with the reaction she got, decided to add fuel to the fire. — Then, it must be for that cute little girl?
Her younger sister froze like a salt pillar, and a blush slowly crept onto her cheeks.
An awkward silence hung in the car.
***
During the ride back, Yui and I didn't say a word. The girl was lost in thought, the essence of which was unknown to me, just as I was myself, unable to fight the ingrained habit of reflecting on already experienced moments of life. Specifically, my mind was currently occupied by the recent Fireworks Festival, or rather, the attempt to analyze my own state.
All in all, I wasn't able to draw any new conclusions.
No matter what anyone says, if a person's personality isn't predisposed to enjoying noisy and crowded places, there's a high chance of experiencing a peculiar moral exhaustion.
No, undeniably, it was an interesting experience to some extent, considering that in past years I had stoically ignored such things, but it's important not to forget about a funny little thing called the boundary of what's acceptable.
Swaying slightly, I gripped the handrail more firmly, glancing at the girl sitting in front of me—the earlier situation was repeated one-for-one, but this time I didn't have to convince her to take a seat. Yes, my inner gentleman is satisfied, especially since opportunities to show myself from such a side are depressingly rare.
Getting back to the topic...
Hypothetically, Yuigahama is perfectly capable of jumping around, scampering, and unrestrainedly engaging in social activity for an entire evening, but I'm only good for a short period of time. What is the main reason behind this? I highly doubt that everything can be blamed on a difference in mental capacity—Doggy is far from the definition of "stupid," despite the frequent incidents that might suggest otherwise.
Should I look for the source of the problem in a physiological aspect? Well, that's also a flimsy piece of evidence; there are so many examples of a man going all out while his, say, female partner hides somewhere in the corner, trying not to draw attention. And blaming everything on biology smacks of a classic cliché, where all the absurdities of lovely ladies, which cause bewilderment in the masculine half of humanity, are summarily dismissed as the notorious "female logic." Who she is and what she entails is a whole other question.
In principle, I have a suitable concept—the creation of which I unashamedly attribute to my beloved self—"social endurance." A sort of figurative reservoir of a person capable of containing all the emotions and experiences that arise during social interactions.
But a question immediately arises: what needs to be done to increase its volume? Like with muscles, constantly pushing yourself to the state of wet bread left in the sun, or are there other methods of increasing the volume of the specified characteristic? To be honest, the ability to stoically maintain composure in similar situations would be useful in life.
— Hikigaya, this is my station, — the girl quietly said for the first time, avoiding looking my way, instead intently examining the handbag resting on her lap.
Apparently, there are reasons for her embarrassment or discomfort. Ideally, I'd find out what they are so that no extra problems arise later. After all, I've managed to become partially—though not to the extent of "can't live without her presence"—attached to her.
Therefore, it's necessary to act like a typical character from many works. Pretend not to notice anything and stick to my plan.
— Alright, — letting Yui pass, I immediately followed, trying not to push the people crowded in the car.
Stepping out into the fresh air, I took a deep breath, slightly shivering from the cool night air.
— Um-m... — Yuigahama looked at me in bewilderment, her eyes wide open. — W-why did you get off here?
Yup, expected.
— To walk you home, of course, — fortunately, I came up with an excuse for my action almost immediately. The main thing here is not to overthink it. Sometimes simplicity is the key to success.
— Huh? — the readable surprise in her eyes slightly stung my delicate self-esteem. Just a little.
— Well, look, — I rotated my wrists, which had stiffened during the journey. — It's late now, you have a fair distance to walk home, and a small stroll wouldn't hurt me. So, putting my mind to it, I decided to combine business with pleasure.
— I could have walked home by myself without any problem, it's a familiar area after all, — Yui replied with noticeable uncertainty in her voice.
All I could do was sigh, astonished by the naivety of the person standing next to me.
— The crime rate in our city is quite low, of course, but you shouldn't dismiss the worst-case scenario. There's a wonderful saying: "Better safe than sorry." And, as a final argument, — I smiled. — Please blame my upbringing for everything.
— You already said that today, — Yuigahama smiled, finally meeting my gaze.
It's important to strike while the iron is hot.
— The essence of the fact won't change with repetition, — suppressing an ill-timed yawn, I nodded toward the exit from the platform. — So, shall we go? Or shall we continue standing and arguing? In any case, there's no other option; the next train won't be for another half hour, and in that time, I could run home and be halfway back.
The girl shook her head resignedly.
— You always do whatever you want, — after which she was the first to move toward the doors.
— Is that a bad thing? — catching up to her in a couple of steps, I raised an eyebrow.
— Then can you ask less provocative questions? — she inquired.
— Then they would be meaningless, — I scoffed, catching the eye of the station security guard. Yes, I'm back, but I don't plan to annoy you again for half an hour, you can relax.
— Sometimes you don't need meaning, can you imagine? — and, freezing, she quietly laughed, lowering her head.
— What's wrong? — I was genuinely surprised, not expecting such a reaction.
— Oh, nothing, — Yui exhaled loudly. — I just realized that you can talk to me just like you talk to Yukinon or her older sister.
— And that makes you happy? — opening the doors for her, I received a light grateful nod in return.
— Uh-huh. It's like you've finally started seeing me as an equal conversational partner, — something in Yuigahama's gaze made me falter.
Oh.
So, until now, Doggy sincerely believed that...
No, perhaps I won't finish that thought. Why inflict unpleasant feelings on myself?
I wonder how many times today I've completely lost my response? I feel like I could somehow defuse the situation, turn everything into a joke, but my tongue refuses to say anything.
Maybe I'm sick?
— By the way, Hikigaya, — clearing her throat, Yuigahama looked away. — Why did you answer Sagami like that?
On the one hand, she changed the subject, sparing me a walk in awkward silence.
On the other hand, things definitely didn't get any better. I sincerely hoped she'd forget about that extremely embarrassing incident.
— In what way? — I'll try to slightly evade a full answer.
— About the friends. You could have, as usual, dryly confirmed my words and given Minami your trademark glare, — Yui's perceptiveness sometimes frightens me, — but you decided to perform something strange. Not that I was against it...
Doggy hesitated, biting her lip and raising her head to the sky, searching for the right words.
I didn't rush her or try to finish her sentence, as I was curious myself what my classmate thought about the incident.
— It was too atypical. I don't know how to put it correctly; after all, you're the one who can easily find a nice phrase for any situation, — the girl gave me a brief smile and continued with much more confidence: — I got the feeling that her phrase stung you. Or that you were offended somehow.
Blinking, Yuigahama suddenly waved her hands, widening her eyes.
— I absolutely don't mean that I'm completely right; it's just what it seemed like to me! I'm sure Sagami didn't even notice, because...
Unable to help myself, I laughed hoarsely, waving my palm, hinting that she should calm down.
— It's alright, I'm not offended in any way, — scratching the back of my head with my free hand, I suppressed the instinctive urge to look away. — Considering that in a way, you're right.
— Eh? — Yui's mouth hung open.
You say I can "easily find a nice phrase for any situation"? If only you knew how much effort I have to put in, especially when I don't have prepared lines. And lately, I've been seriously lacking in those.
Damn it... oh well, there are moments where telling the truth is the only correct decision.
— I really could have just walked up, put my hand on your shoulder, and said: "We're friends," and that would have been the end of it, — I exhaled heavily, pursing my lips for a second: — But I didn't. I gave in to the impulse, and when realization dawned...
I shook my head and let out another short laugh.
— Since I had already started putting on a show, it would be bad form to leave the audience hungry. I had to go all the way. It worked, though, didn't it? I don't think Minami and her friends will have any suspicions about our relationship after my performance.
I should have probably found a different synonym, as Yui subtly flinched and blushed.
— That's funny; so you can sometimes do irrational, foolish things too? — Yuigahama broke the silence.
All I could do was give an ironic snort.
— Don't take Yukinoshita's words seriously; I'm still human, and we are prone to making mistakes even on level ground, — Fate must have decided to add weight to my words, as the next moment, Yui managed to trip over her own foot again, just like when we met.
— Huh? — the girl blinked, hanging in my grasp, for some reason clutching her handbag to her chest.
— Huh, — I confirmed, returning my companion to her original position. — You should think about that footwear. Beauty is one thing, but health is more important.
— Don't nag, — Doggy playfully tapped my chest, adjusting her yukata. — You're starting to sound like an old man. And, — she paused, twirling a lock of her bangs with her finger, — thank you.
— Cookies are on you, — I smirked.
— What? What happened to saying: "you're welcome" or "always a pleasure"?! — Yuigahama pretended to be indignant.
I shrugged.
— Sometimes being a gentleman isn't profitable.
— Of course, of course, — Doggy grumbled and then snorted: — By the way, weren't you unflattering about my cooking skills?
I gave the girl an unreadable look.
— Who said anything about homemade baking?
Judging by her expression, if she had the ability to turn thoughts into reality, I would be having an extremely "fun" time.
But it was worth it.
— Jerk, — Yui replied good-naturedly.
Lost in conversation, we didn't notice reaching the intersection. Theoretically, I should turn one way, and the girl the other.
Realizing this, Yuigahama smiled sadly.
— Time to part? — turning to me, she hid her hands behind her back.
— We should, it's getting late, — the headlights of a passing car momentarily blinded me, making me squint.
And when I blinked away the spots, I raised an eyebrow.
— What is that?
My classmate, intently drilling the asphalt with her eyes, was holding out a bag of candies to me.
— Take them.
— Why? — to be honest, I was lost. — If you're talking about that incident, I already said...
— Just take them, Hikigaya! — the girl raised her voice, adding much quieter: — Please.
Not entirely understanding what was happening, I nevertheless complied with Yui's request, awkwardly putting the gift into the bag with souvenirs for Komachi.
Sighing with relief, Doggy smiled contentedly, but just as I opened my mouth for another question, she held up her palms.
— Please, don't say anything. It's necessary, okay? — meeting her gaze, I reluctantly stuffed the desire to interrogate her into the back of my mind. — Now we can say goodbye!
Despite her cheerful tone, notes of falseness and strain could be heard in her voice.
What the hell?
Unable to stop myself, I rubbed the bridge of my nose.
How did this happen? Everything was fine just a few minutes ago!
— See you at school, Hikigaya? — without looking, Yuigahama took a step back.
For some reason, an image popped into my head of her falling to the ground.
No, a third time today is too much.
— I really liked the festival, — another step.
The feeling of déjà vu was building.
— And I hope we can repe... ICK! — Yui choked on air, grabbing my shoulders tightly. — Why am I so clumsy today! I'm never wearing geta again in my life! I'm sorry, Hikigaya.
It looked like she was about to cry.
I sighed, still holding the girl suspended.
— Hachiman.
— Huh? — the incipient hysteria instantly vanished.
— Not Hikigaya, — I repeated. — Hachiman.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I gathered my strength and smiled, meeting Yuigahama's gaze.
— After all, it's customary for friends to call each other by their given names, right... Yui?
In the next moment, I barely kept my footing, as I was swept up in a tight embrace.
...Sometimes I genuinely don't understand women.
***
— Brother, are you alright? — Komachi, frowning, placed her palm on my forehead. — You look pale. You came home and you've been sitting like a statue for a good ten minutes now.
— I'm not sure, — I answered honestly.
Frankly, I didn't want to think at all. My only desire was to simply dissolve into the sofa or merge with the floor. Dissolve into the pitch-black darkness, becoming nothing...
Ah, no, that was too dramatic. I haven't grown up to be an edgy hero yet.
— No fever, — calming down, my little sister collapsed beside me, taking up a good third of the sofa. — You know, I understand that I shouldn't bother you with questions like how the date, I mean, the outing with Yuigahama went. But still... — she paused and smiled wryly: — How did everything go?
Tilting my head back, I stared at the ceiling.
— Brother?
I sighed loudly and rubbed my temples.
— My darling, tell me: if a girl unexpectedly shoves a gift at you that you completely didn't expect, practically burning up with embarrassment, constantly avoiding eye contact, and losing her balance in your presence—what could that mean?
I glanced sideways.
Komachi was looking at me with wide eyes.
— You really don't understand? — she said incredulously.
— Unfortunately, — I couldn't suppress another sigh, — I understand perfectly well. But I don't want to admit it.
My little sister thoughtfully hummed, examining me, after which, shaking her head, she leaned against my shoulder.
— You dislike her that much? — the girl quietly murmured.
— Not exactly, — I automatically reached out and ruffled her hair. This action always seemed to calm me down. — There's no spark.
— And that's all?
— What else do you need? — I closed my eyes. — You can't build a relationship on mere affection. Friendship? Absolutely. Something long-lasting with an aim for a shared future? Debatable.
— But you don't have to look that far ahead. You could try, see, maybe something will come of it.
I hummed.
— Why?
The girl hesitated, but after ten seconds, she said with noticeable uncertainty in her voice:
— For the children?... Um-m... Family happiness?
I slowly blinked and, unable to hold it back, let out a hysterical snort.
I hadn't expected such a remark. Is everyone obligated to try and knock me out of my precarious sense of balance today?
— Where did you get that from? — in any case, she managed to shake me, pulling me out of the swamp of thoughtlessness.
— You know... Magazines, TV shows, books, and talks with friends. It's everywhere, — Komachi grumbled.
Well, yes, the peculiarities of modern culture.
Get married, build a house, raise a son, and plant a tree. In principle, it can be in a different order, but the essence remains the same.
The same as the obligation to go to work. Or school. Imposed social obligations. Is that bad?
No, not really.
— Even so, let's assume you're right, but what kind of offspring can we be talking about at our age? — I inquired, continuing to run my fingers through my sister's hair. — I haven't even finished high school yet. Then university.
— Wait?
— And for how many years?
— Well, five to seven? — the girl offered.
I glanced at her.
— Find a job, settle in, save up initial capital, take out a mortgage, buy real estate... — yawning, I decided not to continue the list. — In the end, you can safely add that much time again. The question is: can a simple affection withstand such a long period of time?
— You always only look at the negative sides, — Komachi complained.
— But it makes it easier to endure failures, it's a kind of preliminary setup.
The girl changed her posture, broke free from under my arm, and, getting on her knees, poked my forehead with her finger:
— They told us that aiming for success is the first step to achieving it!
— Excessive expectations lead to painful falls, — I calmly met her gaze.
Komachi frowned.
— Brother, stop. You're consciously dodging the main question again! Why don't you want to date Yui?! — I winced, hearing such a direct question.
Weighing all the pros and cons, I decided to answer what I really thought, discarding the attempt to make excuses like: "I'm afraid to hurt her feelings," "what if she feels something else for me, not what I think," or "I'm not worthy of her."
— I don't want to.
— Not at all? — my sister continued to press.
I smiled softly and gave her a light flick on the head.
— Not at all.
Crying out softly, the girl rubbed her forehead and threatened me with a fist, after which, jumping off the sofa, she hid her hands behind her back, swaying from toe to heel and back.
— If that's the case, nothing can be done, — she paused, then smiled slyly. — But since you made me worry, you owe me!
First they mock me, mentally suffocating me, and then they exploit me?
Terrible life. Terrible!
Getting to my feet, I exhaled loudly.
— Coffee with ice cream and chocolate chips will suffice as payment for my transgressions?
Komachi pretended to think, but I understood from her look—the offer was accepted with "hooray."
— I agree. And, as encouragement, I'll unpack the bags you brought.
Never mind that almost everything in them belongs to you?
— I'd be grateful, — but I didn't have the strength for a full answer, so I, after ruffling the girl's hair one last time, shuffled toward the stove, straining to remember: do we even have any ice cream left?
Fortunately, the necessary ingredients were in place.
Placing the Turkish coffee pot on the burner, I yawned again.
— Brother, there are candies here. What should I do with them? Put them in the general pile?
I sighed.
— Leave them as they are, — I scratched my cheek. — They are... important to me.