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Chapter 19 - The pain

Lila POV

I was in hell. The way my body ached, my back burning like it had every inch of skin torn off was like being tossed into the flaming pits of Hell.

My head pounded. My mouth hurt, the metallic taste of blood coating my tongue.

There wasn't a part of me that didn't throb with pain. I couldn't feel the lashes anymore, but I heard them. I still heard the sound of it cutting through the air, the crack as it landed on my skin.

Over and over and over I heard that sound resounding in my head, making my body shiver as I waited for the pain to slice through me.

But it never came.

Instead I felt heat that slowly flowed through me, thawing the cold that had possessed every bone, every blood vessel.

I grabbed ahold of that heat, squeezing it tight against every inch of my body. I never wanted to let go of this heat.

"lila?"

I didn't want to open my eyes in fear that the welcome heat would disappear.

"lila? Open your eyes and look at me."

Even my eyelids ached, felt heavy, and I wanted to keep them closed. I wanted to sleep. Just let me sleep.

"I need to put you down now, okay?"

Some of the heat dissipated, and I groaned, clutching harder, not wanting it to go.

"lila?"

Finally, with effort I managed to open my eyes. Big, brown, almost black, familiar irises stared back at me.

"lila, you need to let go of me so that I can put you down."

I noticed the scar next to his eye, his elongated pupil, and that's when everything came rushing back like a disease.

Nico…Damon…the woman…the lashes…

Fear, panic, pain, every bad, soul-sucking emotion known to man crawled its way back into me. My lungs no longer took long, deep, steady inhales. Instead I only managed a few shallow breaths, my chest too tight to allow anything more.

"lila. Loosen your arms so I can put you down."

Flooded with confusion I glanced at my arms, only noticing now that I had them tightly clutched around his neck while he cradled me against his chest.

That was the heat I felt the warmth. It was Nico. How was it possible that a hard, stone cold man like him could be so warm to the touch?

With a jerk I pulled back my arms, but Nico eyes remained focused on mine.

"Can you sit?"

"Yeah." My cheeks flushed crimson thinking that, I had held onto nico for dear life a life he was determined to take.

"I'm going to start the shower, then I need you to get in, okay?" I heard the concern in his voice, saw it in his eyes, but I didn't trust it.

Especially since his words kept on repeating in my head…"I swear, on my life, that I will not fail this family, and that I will make them pay for taking my brother and my father's life."

On his life. He swore on his life that he would make me and my family pay. In other words, kill us, kill me. So why all the concern for me now? Or was it all part of the game, part of his plan to break me?

I couldn't look at him, letting my gaze fall to the floor. The warmth was gone, my body shivering and trembling, aching with such force that I was sure it had the strength to break me in half.

"Come on. You need a shower." He placed his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

I got to my feet, not caring that I was completely naked, my legs shaking beneath me. "Because I stink?"

"Because it will help ease the pain."

Confusion settled in the pit of my stomach, and I looked up at him. "Why the sudden concern whether I'm in pain or not."

He pulled his hand through his hair. "Just…please just get in the fucking shower."

For a moment I was stunned. Please…Nico just said please.

The way his eyes remained on me with concern was unnerving since I wasn't sure whether I could trust it or not. But the fact that he had just said please had my heart beating just that little bit faster.

With every ounce of defiance that had pulsed through me the entire time I've been here, I couldn't ignore the use of that word which is why I forced my body to obey, and turned toward the shower.

"Wait."

I froze, apprehension sending chills down my spine. See, I knew not to trust the sudden change in him.

My stomach turned, bitterness creeping up my throat. I was completely naked and alone with him in a bathroom I didn't recognize. We weren't back in the room he kept me in.

There was no trace of a bathroom in that room…unless there was another hidden door I wasn't aware of.

He moved closer, my heart pounding louder and louder with every footstep. Waiting, anticipating, fearing what his next move would be, I closed my eyes pretending that I could shield myself, that I could protect myself from him…my mind at least.

Then the softest, most gentle touch against my spine took me by surprise, and I sucked in a breath.

"Does it hurt?"

I bit my lower lip, pushing back tears that I forced myself not to cry, not now. I was tired of crying, of being weak.

My reply was a mere shake of my head because the truth was I didn't feel the burn on my back anymore, not when I felt his touch on my skin.

The trepidation curdling in my stomach overruled every other physical feeling, yet his touch caused my insides to coil tight.

Slowly he traced his fingertip down my spine and I fought the shivers that threatened to spread throughout my body. I didn't know why his touch had so much power over me, but I was determined to fight it. If I surrendered to it, it would mean the end of me.

"You did well tonight." His finger dipped, tracing all the way down the hollow of my back. This time I couldn't stop my body from trembling from his touch, the brief determination evaporating like mist in front of the sun".

I closed my eyes. "I don't care whether you think I did good or not."

His finger started upward again. "I'm sure you don't."

"And you were wrong."

"About what?"

I glanced over my shoulder. "About me craving pain."

"Oh, I wasn't wrong."

"Then why couldn't I handle the pain from Damon lashings? Why did my body give in?"

His fingertip reached the nape of my neck, then slowly descended downward again. "Because he wasn't the one.

Your body doesn't respond to him."

Abruptly he gripped my hip, his fingers digging painfully into my flesh, and I gasped softly.

With that pain came a bright flare of desire that shot straight through me all the way to my core, and I felt my body's need for something for him getting stronger.

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