I woke up early today to the sound of footsteps outside my door. The sound of footsteps that were too energetic to belong to Soren this early in the morning.
Jamie.
"Hurry up!" his voice rang out, far too cheerful for the hour.
I groaned quietly and rolled onto my side, pulling the covers closer. Just yesterday, my body had felt like it was made of lead, weighed down by exhaustion and unfamiliar comfort. Today, it felt like Jamie's energy had somehow seeped into the walls and dragged me awake with it.
"The shops are not running yet, Jamie," Soren said from somewhere down the hall, his voice calm but amused.
"They are," Jamie replied stubbornly. "And even if they aren't, we can wait."
I sighed and sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes. Shopping. That was what they had been talking about yesterday while we drank tea. I had assumed it was just talk. I hadn't thought they were serious.
Apparently, Jamie was very serious.
By the time I washed my face and changed my clothes, they were both waiting. Jamie looked almost offended that I hadn't moved faster, while Soren just smiled at me.
The drive to the mall was… loud.
Music poured from the radio, upbeat and unfamiliar, and Jamie immediately turned the volume up. He sang along without hesitation, swaying dramatically in his seat, while Soren tapped his fingers against the steering wheel and joined in effortlessly. They didn't care who heard them or how they sounded. They were happy.
I sat quietly in the back seat, watching them with a mixture of curiosity and disbelief.
I didn't know any of the songs. Not really. That wasn't surprising. There had been no internet for omegas in the forest pack. No radios. No music unless an alpha allowed it. Even looking at a television could earn you a punishment.
The only reason I knew what a TV even was because I had once been an alpha's mate. The mate of Andrew, the alpha of the forest pack.
Andrew liked television. He liked falling asleep to it, the volume low, his attention half-gone. On those nights, after finishing my chores, I would stand quietly nearby and watch whatever played next. I never touched the remote. I never asked to. I just watched.
When a familiar song came on, my body reacted before my mind did. My head lifted slightly. My fingers tapped once against my leg. I nodded along, barely noticeable.
Jamie glanced back at me through the mirror. "You know this one?"
I hesitated, then hummed softly, almost embarrassed by the sound of my own voice.
The song belonged to Phoenix.
He was an omega celebrity, one of the few whose face and voice had somehow reached even the forest pack. Andrew watched him sometimes, scoffing, calling him foolish, calling his music unrealistic. I never spoke during those moments. I just listened.
Every night, when Andrew fell asleep in front of the TV, Phoenix would appear on the screen. Singing. Smiling. Living.
While I cleaned the house, I would pause for just a moment to watch his music videos. I couldn't change the channel. I didn't dare touch the remote. But I memorized every lyric that played often enough.
I loved most of his songs. Not because they were perfect, but because they spoke of dreams. Dreams that omegas like me weren't supposed to have.
If Andrew ever woke up and caught me watching, he beat me. Every time he woke up and saw me watching the TV even if it was just a glance he would beat the hell out of me. He wouldn't stop until I was covered in bruises and he felt satisfied.
Phoenix sang about a world I was never meant to belong to.
Jamie suddenly turned fully around in his seat, singing loudly and dramatically, pointing directly at me when the chorus hit. "Your turn!"
I froze, startled. Soren glanced at me too, eyebrows raised in encouragement.
Slowly, uncertainly, I sang along. My voice was quiet at first, almost swallowed by the music, but it was there. I mouthed the words I knew by heart. My shoulders loosened. My body moved to the beat.
Jamie whooped. "See? I knew it!"
Soren laughed softly, glancing at me through the mirror. "Didn't take you for a Phoenix fan."
I didn't answer. I didn't know how to explain what Phoenix meant to me. How his songs had been the only thing that made nights bearable. How they reminded me that there was something more out there, even if I would never reach it.
By the time we pulled into the mall parking lot, I was a bit disappointed. The music faded, the car slowed, and reality settled back in. I hadn't realized how much I'd enjoyed myself until it was over.
The mall wasn't empty like I expected. It was early, but people moved through the wide halls. They were couples, families and workers opening shops. It wasn't crowded, but it was alive.
Jamie practically dragged us inside, already talking about stores he liked and things he wanted to buy.
I walked behind them, silent again, my eyes wandering.
Everything was bright. Clean. Organized. Glass displays reflected the lights overhead.
Jamie stopped in front of a clothing store, eyes lighting up. "This one first!"
Soren sighed dramatically. "Of course."
I stayed where I was for a moment, staring at the storefront. Clothes neatly arranged. Mannequins dressed in beautiful clothes.
This is something I've only seen on tv or in an old magazine that I had once seen with my brother. I had never been to a mall in my life. The Magazines and the TV did no justice to how beautiful this place was.
Shopping.
It sounded simple. Normal.
For me, it felt unreal. It's something I never thought I would do in my whole life.
Jamie glanced back at me and smiled, bright and genuine. "Come on, Holland."
I hesitated for only a second before stepping forward.