Chapter 31 – The Beauty I Want to Save
That night, the camp was wrapped in quiet.
The only sounds were the gentle crackle of the fire and the distant howl of a cold Skyrim wind slipping between the pine trees. Amber sparks drifted upward like tiny fireflies, disappearing into a vast sky sprinkled with stars.
Everyone else had fallen into deep, exhausted sleep Astrid curled in her bedroll with her arm over her eyes, Delphine mumbling occasionally as she shifted, and even the horses snorting softly near the boulders.
But Alex… Alex was still awake.
He sat with his knees drawn up, arms loosely draped over them, his face dimly lit by the wavering glow of the flames. Shadows moved across his expression thoughtful, troubled, searching. His eyes reflected the fire like molten gold as Esbern's earlier words replayed in his mind:
Learning spells instantly just by absorbing a spellbook…
Impossible. A fantasy. A violation of magical logic itself.
Yet he could do it.
He had done it.
Alex exhaled slowly, watching the warm breath fog in the cold night air.
He admired the strange, impossible power resting inside him the System that had chosen him, for reasons he didn't understand.
"Why did I receive this System?" he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck as if the question itself made him uncomfortable.
"Some kind of gift after death?"
A dry, self-mocking laugh slipped from him.
"But my death wasn't heroic at all."
He leaned closer to the fire, stretching his hands toward the warmth.
The flames made his grin look a little crooked, a little embarrassed.
"I died from getting electrocuted because I was annoyed Elder Scrolls VI got delayed."
He sighed dramatically.
"What a stupid way to die…"
The laugh that followed was soft half humor, half disbelief.
He poked a stick into the fire, sending sparks leaping like startled insects.
While Alex was lost in thought, Esbern silently approached from behind.
The old man walked with slow, careful steps, his cloak brushing against the frosted grass. The firelight caught the edges of his white beard and the wrinkles around his wise, tired eyes.
For a moment he simply stood there, observing Alex his posture, the way his shoulders slumped, the distant look in his eyes.
Then, in a tone gentle but laced with curiosity, he broke the silence.
"Still awake, I see."
Alex flinched slightly, snapped from his thoughts.
He turned his head toward Esbern, eyes widening just a little in surprise before softening into a tired smile.
"Oh Esbern. Sorry. I didn't hear you."
The old man chuckled, lowering himself onto the log beside Alex with a small grunt of effort.
"Not surprising. You looked quite… absorbed."
Alex rubbed his temple with two fingers, looking back into the flames.
"Yeah. I was."
And esbern curious
"Hey, what are you staring at the fire for with that empty look on your face?"
Alex blinked twice, shoulders jerking a little before he turned his head to the old man.
Esbern stood there with his arms folded, the orange firelight outlining the creases of his stern yet curious face. The glow danced along his beard, making him look half-philosopher, half-worried-grandfather.
Alex swallowed and straightened his posture.
"No, I was just thinking about how to learn the spells you mentioned."
He turned back toward the fire, the reflection of the flames flickering across his eyes.
His voice dropped lower, almost swallowed by the crackling wood.
"I need to get stronger, Esbern. I don't want to lose someone precious again."
His right hand slowly curled into a fist.
Tendons flexed under his skin.
His jaw tightened just a little, but enough to show how deeply the memory pierced him.
"Especially when you can't do anything… when you're powerless to help or protect them."
His shoulders hunched slightly forward, as if burdened by an invisible weight.
His gaze sharpened not with anger, but with a pain he refused to look away from.
"That feeling is… disgusting."
For a moment, only the fire spoke popping, hissing, stretching its flames upward like ghostly fingers.
The cold breeze swirled around them, making the surrounding pine trees whisper as if listening to their conversation.
Esbern studied him carefully eyes narrowing, then softening.
The old man exhaled, lowering himself to sit beside Alex. His knees cracked slightly from age, and he adjusted his cloak around him before speaking.
"You know… all who breathe must someday face death. Nothing can change that."
He poked the fire gently with a branch, sending a small shower of sparks spiraling upward into the velvet sky.
"Skyrim is home to many: Nords, Argonians, Khajiit, Elves, and more."
The fire reflected in his eyes like molten amber.
"But peace in such a world is one of its greatest mysteries."
He shifted, leaning his elbows on his knees.
"If your power grows too vast, you might bring peace… but people may see you as a monster instead.
You might even come to hate the world yourself.
Or worse the world may hunt you."
Alex let the words settle, his expression unreadable for a heartbeat.
Then he inhaled deeply the cold air stinging slightly as it filled his lungs.
"You're right… but Skyrim has so much beauty I want to protect.
So much."
Esbern raised an eyebrow and smirked.
"Haha, you sound like someone who's truly seen beauty in this world, Alex.
Go on tell me. I want to hear it."
Alex's face relaxed.
His shoulders lowered.
His eyes softened, distant but warm like someone looking at a memory so precious that even thinking about it feels fragile.
"You might not notice it… maybe it's just me."
Esbern chuckled and tapped Alex's arm lightly.
"Heh, try me."
Alex exhaled, and when he spoke again, his voice carried a quiet, poetic awe.
"First the sky."
He pointed upward without looking, as if he knew every star by heart.
"Don't you see how beautiful it is?
The stars are countless… like someone spilled diamonds across black silk."
He tilted his head back, letting the silver-blue moonlight highlight his features.
"And the moons… they shine so brightly.
Honestly, even if we put out this campfire, I'm sure the stars alone could light us."
A small smile tugged at his lips soft, genuine.
"And the air just breathe."
He inhaled deeply, and the night breeze brushed against his hair, stirring the small strands near his forehead.
"Isn't it so fresh? So clean? So alive?"
He gestured around them, his fingertips brushing the soil lightly.
"The forests… the sound of the wind through the pines… the way the snow sparkles like crushed crystal… the rivers that look like glass in the sunlight…"
His voice became almost dreamy.
"It's like everything here wants to remind you that the world is worth saving."
Esbern listened in silence eyes half-lidded, absorbing every word.
Alex continued for a long while, describing the mountains, the auroras that danced across the night sky, the warmth of mead in a cold tavern, the wildflowers in the tundra, even the distant roars of dragons that made Skyrim feel both terrifying and alive.
But then his tone shifted.
Softer.
More intimate.
Like confessing something he rarely admitted even to himself.
"And there's one more beauty Skyrim gave me…"
He hesitated, his cheeks warming slightly in the fire's glow.
"A woman with eyes like blue gemstones…
and hair like gold."
His lips curved faintly, not quite a smile, but close full of admiration he could not hide.
"A smile that hypnotizes you, sticks in your mind, and refuses to leave."
He looked down at his hand as if imagining holding hers.
"I don't want anything bad to happen to her.
I don't want that smile to turn into sorrow."
His voice trembled just once barely noticeable.
"That's why… I want to become stronger."
Finally, Alex stared into the flames again.
This time, his eyes carried both gentleness and fierce determination.
"That's why I want to save this world.
I don't want its beauty to disappear whether by dragons or some stupid war."
He clenched his fist once more, not in despair, but in resolve.
"I'll find a way."
Esbern's chest rose with a slow breath moved, deeply.
In Alex, he saw his younger self: hopeful, passionate, trying desperately to protect what mattered most yet he failed. And he don't want that happen in alex life.
"Yes, Alex."
He placed a firm, steady hand on Alex's shoulder.
"Become strong for your love, and for Skyrim's beauty.
Just as you described to me.
I know you can."
But the old man wasn't finished.
"Because your determination burns so brightly, I won't let that flame die."
He straightened his back, voice firm yet warm.
"I'll teach you the spell techniques I mentioned earlier: Fire Cloak, Fireball, Stoneflesh, Fast Healing, and several Conjuration spells.
Everything I know I'll pass it on."
He spoke as though entrusting Alex with the last embers of his own life, ensuring the fire would not die with him.
Alex blinked, caught completely off guard.
His mouth parted slightly, stunned.
He had expected a lecture.
A scolding.
Not… this.
"Thank you, Esbern… but I'm afraid I'm not that talented. I don't want to disappoint you."
Esbern barked out laughter, slapping his thigh.
"Hah! Don't be ridiculous! No need for such nonsense! Hahaha!"
Inside, Alex panicked wildly.
I just wanted to know how spells work not get trained like a full student!
What do I do now?!
He forced a calm nod, burying the panic deep.
Well… let's try. I'll figure out the rest later.
Eventually, after the fire dimmed into glowing embers, they lay down again Esbern snoring softly, Alex staring up at the sky.
And alex go back to sleep while esbern stay awake and increase wood to the fire.
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