Orion wandered deeper into the stone corridors, having no idea where he was going; he just followed where his heart took him. The faint blue glow of dungeon moss guided his way.
He had taken a full hour to accept what had happened—dying via exploding laptop, waking up in a monster-infested cavern, and then discovering that he now possessed something that looked suspiciously like an Elden Ring system menu floating in his vision.
Not to mention the very sexy and Final Boss of Elden Ring herself hovering right beside his head.
It was a lot.
Even for someone who once tried to run a 60-GB modern-gen game on a dying machine that could barely handle YouTube.
Okay, that was a little too much; his Laptop Bro wasn't that bad, but even Orion had to agree that he was getting old and slow.
He flexed his fingers. The air shimmered, and a familiar interface opened before him. Inventory. Equipment. Stats. Everything he remembered, minus a handy YouTube site open in the background to find his way around the game when he's stuck.
'What!… that's not cheating. He valued his time over spending 2 hours finding his way out of that one dungeon where the damn path was inside the trap, pushing him to a wall mounted with spikes.'
With quick snaps, he equipped new items, ready to move.
"Well… at least I'm fashionable," he muttered.
With a thought, the starting weapons materialised in bursts of golden particles—the humble longsword of a standard Vagabond build, a battered shield, and a knife that was definitely not big enough to make him feel safe. The weight settled naturally in his hand, far more balanced than the panic-fueled fist fighting he did earlier.
He decided to ditch the Uchigatana for now, rationalising that as winning over his chunibyo longing.
After all, having two blades in one has to be better, right?
Glad that he had tools now, he strode forward with confidence.
[Verily, dost thou not cut the figure of a warrior now]
She almost purred while lazily drifting beside him.
"Thanks…"
A low growl echoed ahead. Another goblin crawled from the wall crack, sniffing the air like it was deciding which part of him to bite first. Orion's heart skipped, but he didn't freeze this time. Instead, he exhaled sharply and muttered:
"Okay. I beat those fuckers when I was unarmed and they ambushed me, I'm now a thousand times more prepared… I got this—"
The goblin lunged.
Orion rolled. Or at least tried to… classic Dark Souls-like move; however, he failed to account that this wasn't a game. Roll Dodge here didn't only need proper timing but also the right amount of space.
He went straight into a rock.
His back slammed against it with enough force to knock the breath from him. "Ow! What the— where the fuck are my iframes!" He scrambled up, raising the shield just in time as the goblin clawed at him, sending sparks skittering across the metal.
[Pray tell, what art thou doing? Rolling in the muck like some goat of Limbgrave?]
Marika was speechless for a second; she thought her champion would charge forward, with one heroic move he'd decapitate the enemy, but instead he rolled and went head-first into a wall.
"That… wasn't what I imagined it to be…" he muttered in indignation.
The impact from the goblin stung his arm, but it didn't slice him open like before. Encouraged, he swung the sword. The edge bit deep into the goblin's shoulder, severing the creature's arm. It screeched, staggered, and fell.
Death.
"That's one. Somehow," he breathed.
[I might as well plant another Erdtree and tarry to watch it grow at this rate…]
Marika said with a snarky remark.
"OI, I'm doing my best, okay? Let me level up a bit and then I'll show you." He muttered with irritation before moving on.
But the dungeon was generous, if nothing else.
Two more goblins emerged, chittering in excitement.
"Of course. Why wouldn't there be more?"
The first rushed him head-on. This time, Orion tried a dodge step—short, sharp, controlled. Much easier.
He slipped to the side, blade sweeping across the goblin's chest. It fell with a gasp, dissolving before it hit the floor.
The second jumped at him from above.
"Hey—hey—HEY—!"
He thrust his shield up, catching the creature mid-air. The goblin bounced off with a crack, tumbled, and scrambled back upright with a snarl. Orion charged, more instinct than technique, and swung downward, splitting its head cleanly.
Silence returned. Only his quickened breathing filled the tunnel.
[That was mildly better]
"Okay," he muttered, shaking sweat from his brow. "I'm either improving or these things are getting dumber."
[I much doubt they are capable of growing any duller than this.]
'Gee… what a roundabout way of saying "Good Job".' Orion almost rolled his eyes at the Tsundere Goddess's response and moved on.
A burning sting radiated from his thigh—one of the goblins had grazed him during the fight. He winced and opened his menu again, selecting a crimson flask.
He hesitated for a bit, using the flask for only this little scratch felt wrong; he would definitely need it later on. However, going into a fight where he wasn't in his top condition was asking for more danger.
Sighing, he drank it in one go.
The moment he drank, warmth rushed through him. The wound stitched itself shut, the bruises faded, and his fatigue retreated like a tide rolling backwards.
He blinked, amazed. "Oh, thank god. This is way better than Band-Aids."
His healing flask only had two charges; originally it was only one, but he edited the flask charges before leaving.
Flasks are nothing but refills for either health or magic.
While the number of flask charges, or how many times he can use them, is limited until he finds a way to increase them—another conversation entirely—in Elden Ring, the game allows the player to choose how to transfer charges of the healing or magic flasks around according to their playstyle.
Orion had one healing flask and one magic flask, Crimson Tear Flask and Cerulean Flask, respectively.
That makes two charges in total.
He put all of them into healing with his system since he currently had no spell to use.
Not to be mistaken that he can't use magic—he just can't refill it after emptying out what magic reserve he has right now without a Magic Flask or, to be more accurate, a Cerulean Tear.
Thus that left him with one charge of a healing flask.
'It heals wounds this minor effortlessly. What its healing range is, I have to observe in future,' he muttered to himself before moving forward.
He kept walking, testing each movement carefully. The sword felt more natural with each swing, the shield steadier on his arm. The dodge roll still remained an absolute menace—every attempt ended with him smacking into rocks, stalagmites, or once, a wall he swore hadn't been there a second earlier.
He wasn't used to rolling yet; side steps though, they were like his jam and butter almost immediately. Half the iframe, meaning his invincibility lasted much shorter than the dodge roll, however, dodge roll took way too much stamina.
Dodge rolls are also harder to perform simultaneously; dodge steps are quicker and easier to handle.
But he kept trying dodge rolls anyway. Kept learning. Kept pushing forward because he didn't want to die again.
Another cluster of goblins appeared, shrieking as they charged. Orion steadied his breath.
"Alright, you little green gremlins… round three."
And he leapt in, blade first, carving his way deeper into the dungeon's merciless belly—one clumsy, determined, occasionally comedic step at a time.
Marika just watched the show from afar, occasionally helping him in his steps.
She might be known as a god and queen in the Lands Between; however, she was also a seasoned warrior. She could train him if she wished to.
Her growing suspicions about him not exactly being the man she freed from the foot of the Erdtree aside, she was a good teacher.
A little moody one with a flare for sarcasm, mind you, but a good teacher nonetheless.
"Okay, done here, next." Orion sighed; this time he didn't get hit at all. It's like he'd gotten used to the goblins' movesets and now could dodge them with a blindfold.
He didn't think much of it, but Marika showed it clearly—the progress was way too fast for a novice. If he was a novice, that is.
[Animus Ignus…]
She muttered under her breath. That skill of that boy was the only thing which made sense of his absurd growth rate in her champion.
She still didn't understand levelling and skills from a game-type system, but what she had figured out was that the skill was making him adapt to fighting at an accelerated rate.
[Surely, thou art not the Tarnished I had envisioned when I bade the Grace to seek them out. And yet… this is most intriguing nonetheless. Perhaps, in due time, I may behold an Elden Lord in thee—one of mine own making.]
The ends of her lips curled up, in expectation and in delight to know that she could mould him from the beginning. And so the journey continued.
The next chamber opened into a wide, shadow-choked cavern—just big enough for trouble.
In fact, a large empty place in a soulslike game often means trouble ahead, since that's where most boss fights happen.
And trouble arrived in the form of six goblins skittering out of the darkness like angry, oversized green squirrels with knives.
Orion froze. "Six? SIX? Where's the difficulty slider?!"
'Ah... its a soulslike, there are no sliders here...'
He cursed internally; if anything is harder in a soulslike than fighting a tough boss, then it's being ganged up on by these little fodders.
They didn't wait for him to finish complaining. All six lunged.
Seeing them coming from all sides, he didn't hesitate—it was now or never.
He tried rolling again—because why not—but mistimed it so badly he slid across the floor like a dropped potato, narrowly avoiding three claws by pure luck. The other three crashed into where he'd been, snarling in confusion.
"Okay—okay—iframes."
He barely got out of that, only because of that one second iframe his roll gave him. He felt like growing a white moustache and shouting…
"The Iframe Are Real…"
…to the world; however, the goblins were already moving.
The goblins regrouped.
They came again.
This time, Orion dodge-stepped. A short, sharp, clean slip past a claw aimed at his face. He felt the air whistle past his cheek. Another blade-like nail swiped for his ribs—he rolled again, clipped a goblin's ear mid-spin, and slammed into the ground, but the attack passed clean over him.
"That was intentional," he lied to himself.
[Of course it was. There is no need for justification; none here stand to judge thee]
Marika's timely response was laced with sarcasm as usual.
'I take it back… what's worse than being ganged in a soulslike game is being watched by others when it happens.' He grumbled, already planning his next roll.
He sprang up, sword flashing. The first goblin fell immediately, its jaw separating from its head before dissolving. The second leapt at him, screeching. He sidestepped—barely—and brought the shield down on its skull like he was smashing a particularly offensive melon.
The third and fourth attacked together. He dodged one, got raked by the other. Pain flared, but survival trumped screaming. He countered with a clumsy thrust that somehow pierced a throat.
"Three down! I'm… doing great? Am I doing great?" He huffed, running out of breath and quickly recovering it just like in a game.
The last left were easier to take down since it was their numbers advantage which made them a threat.
Orion didn't come out completely unscathed though; he had some minor wounds. Something he could ignore for now, as long as it didn't hinder his fighting capability.
"Alright, let's keep moving." He chirped and turned around, only to find the most dreaded thing for a first-time Soulslike game player.
[What is that?]
Marika narrowed her eyes, seeing the curtain of fog covering the next area they wished to go.
"The Boss Fog," Orion muttered, earlier joy already fading.
[Boss Fog?]
Marika muttered to herself, like testing the word itself. She had no idea what it meant, but looking at her champion's features, it couldn't be anything good.
Orion took a deep breath. He didn't wish to go in, for many horrifying experiences of the past, but he steeled himself.
"Damn… whatever, the worst that can happen is I die and come back." He motivated himself. There is always a retry, right?
So with that, he walked up to the fog curtain, ready to enter.
[How Intriguing]
Marika studied the fog and couldn't figure out its nature. For a being thousands of years old, this was not often that she felt this helpless like today.
Orion found himself in a different style of cave than before, and of course a large enough clearing for a boss fight.
Boss fights often have that; in fact, having a large place in a soulslike game for no reason means a boss is ahead.
'Why do I feel I have seen this place…' Orion could have sworn he did—somewhere—but couldn't recall at the moment.
That's when a familiar music was heard by both of them.
[This music…]
Marika was baffled. Who's playing music here?
'Holy shit… the infamous boss music.' Orion gulped and tightened his grip around his shield and sword.
And that's when the enemy revealed himself.
Coming at almost twice his height, in armour and big great sword in hand.
Orion's eyes widened as he read his name displayed by his system.
Soldier of God
RICK…
~O~"
A/N: Okay, here's a little clarification. He did beat the game before; I kind of based it on myself since it's been three years since I beat the game back then and recently started the DLC again and got crushed.
Turns out, three years is a long time to make you a fodder again, even if you were the Elden Lord. So I had to start a New Game from the start.
Same with MC.