Chapter 49: Subsidies and Stolen Legacies
"Success!"
While the Uchiha brothers in the Pure Land were busy debating the morality of spousal homicide for power, Naruto Uzumaki in the living world had launched his assault. His timing was unexpectedly precise—a feint with the clone, followed by a pincer attack from two angles that actually forced Kakashi to move his book.
Based on all available intelligence, Naruto Uzumaki was supposed to be the dead-last who could barely produce three unstable clones. Yet here he was, wielding the Multiple Shadow Clone Technique—a forbidden jutsu—with enough proficiency to create a credible threat.
—Thud!
Both Narutos drove their kunai home. The blades pierced fabric, met resistance, and—
Kakashi tumbled from the windowsill, landing in a heap on the floor.
"YES! Jiang Cheng, did you see that? This is the new technique I just learned! Pretty awesome, right?"
Naruto pumped his fist in the air, grinning triumphantly at the presumed corpse of Mizuki's white-haired accomplice. He didn't notice the subtle poof of smoke, nor the log now lying where Kakashi had fallen.
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"Attacking your assigned jōnin instructor," a lazy voice remarked from directly behind Naruto. "That calls for disciplinary measures."
—THWACK!
"Physical Technique: One Thousand Years of Death!"
Naruto had only a split second to register the voice before an explosive, tearing sensation traveled from his lower back directly to his brainstem. With a high-pitched shriek that would haunt the hospital's second floor for weeks, Naruto Uzumaki shot through the open window like a blonde, orange-clad comet, trajectory perfectly angled for the ornamental koi pond below.
Minato Namikaze (VIP1): KAKASHI! YOU BRAT! THAT'S MY SON'S PRECIOUS—! I SPOILED YOU FOR NOTHING!
Kushina Uzumaki (VIP1): A mixture of maternal concern and secondhand embarrassment. My poor Naruto... but maybe he'll learn to check for substitution jutsu now...
Rin Nohara (Regular Viewer): I... didn't know Kakashi had developed such a... specialized technique.
Sakumo Hatake (Regular Viewer): Deep, weary sigh. ...
Tobirama Senju (VIP5): Sakumo. You mentioned the Hatake clan lineage rests solely on your son now?
Sakumo Hatake: Yes, Lord Second.
Tobirama Senju: Another sigh. I see.
Sakumo Hatake: What does that sigh mean, Lord Second?
Tobirama Senju: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Uchiha Izuna (Regular Viewer): Did anyone else notice the book that jōnin was holding?
Hashirama Senju (Regular Viewer): Squinting. "Icha Icha Paradise" was the title. It doesn't sound like a tactical manual.
Tobirama Senju: Probably romantic fiction. Young men his age often have... literary interests.
Sakumo Hatake: My lord, please! My son was top of his class! He would never engage with... frivolous material!
Minato Namikaze: Sheepishly. Actually, Sakumo-san... that series is written by my teacher, Jiraiya.
Uchiha Izuna: Wasn't your teacher that famous erotic novelist?
Sakumo Hatake: ...
Tobirama Senju: Pinching the bridge of his nose. Jiraiya. Of course. Another of my brother's... vibrant legacies.
With Naruto successfully yeeted into the hospital courtyard, Kakashi finally turned his full attention to Ren. For the first time, the lazy mask slipped slightly. Up close, the boy radiated a subtle, controlled danger—the kind Kakashi associated with Anbu operatives or seasoned killers, not academy graduates.
No wonder he took down Mizuki. This kid is a loaded kunai in a child's shape.
Kakashi's visible eye curved, but his posture remained deceptively relaxed. "So. You're the one who rearranged Sakura's ribs at the entrance."
Ren offered an apologetic shrug. "Reflexive response. Didn't mean to hospitalize her."
"Yet here we are." Kakashi moved to Sasuke's bedside, opened the drawer, and pulled out a thick sheaf of medical invoices. He tossed them toward Ren, who caught them neatly. "Sasuke here is on the orphan stipend program. Can't afford his medical bills. I've been covering them."
Ren scanned the top invoice—a staggering sum for bone setting, chakra-assisted healing, and overnight observation. His eyebrows rose. "Wait. The sole survivor of the Uchiha clan, living on welfare? Shouldn't he have inherited the entire clan compound? The land alone is worth—"
"That's the theory." Kakashi's voice dropped, losing its playful edge. "Officially, the Uchiha assets were to be held in trust for Sasuke until he came of age. But Itachi... made threats against certain council members before he left. Danzo took it as a challenge. Invoked 'village security protocols' and seized all Uchiha holdings. Sasuke gets a monthly stipend barely enough for food and a roof. The rest?" Kakashi shrugged. "Root operating budget, presumably."
Ren stared at the unconscious Sasuke, then at the bills in his hand. The sheer, petty vindictiveness of it took his breath away. Itachi's desperate attempt to protect his brother—"If you touch Sasuke, I'll reveal every Konoha secret I know to enemy nations"—had backfired spectacularly. Danzo, unable to touch Sasuke directly, had simply stolen his birthright instead.
Uchiha Fugaku (VIP1): His spectral form trembled with rage. DANZO! THAT THIEF! HE STEALS EYES FROM OUR DEAD AND NOW COINS FROM OUR LIVING?!
Uchiha Mikoto (VIP2): My baby... living like a pauper in his own home? Eating ration bars while Danzo funds his black ops with our family's wealth?
Tobirama Senju: Coldly analytical. Politically shrewd. It weakens the last Uchiha's potential power base while enriching his own faction. A move I might have considered... had I been that kind of man.
Hashirama Senju: Tobirama! Don't even joke about that!
Minato Namikaze: This is... profoundly messed up. The boy is paying for crimes he didn't commit.
Kushina Uzumaki: And Naruto lives the same way! On that tiny stipend, in that awful apartment! While the village sits on the Fourth Hokage's estate!
Sakumo Hatake: It seems Konoha's treatment of its heroes' children is... consistent.
Ren looked from the bills to Kakashi. "So you're paying out of pocket for a student you just met today?"
Kakashi's eye crinkled again. "Let's call it an advance on future mission earnings. Team 7 will be doing a lot of D-ranks. Many, many D-ranks." He glanced at the two occupied hospital beds. "Once they can walk, anyway."
A faint groan came from Sakura's bed. Her eyelids fluttered.
Rin Nohara: She's waking up. Ren, you might want to...
Ren didn't need the warning. His Meditation technique felt her consciousness rising like a bubble through deep water. He tossed the bills back onto Sasuke's nightstand.
"Tell her I'm sorry. And that I'll cover her bills. Consider it... an apology with financial backing."
Kakashi blinked, surprised. "Generous."
"Practical," Ren corrected. "Less hassle than a harassment lawsuit from the Haruno family." He moved toward the window, pausing on the sill. "And Hatake? Tell Naruto his technique was good. The timing was just off."
Then he was gone, a flicker of movement and a rustle of curtains.
Kakashi stood alone in the quiet room, the only sounds Sakura's soft moans and the distant, angry splashing from the koi pond below. He looked at the two broken children who were now his responsibility, at the medical bills, at the orange book on the floor.
He sighed, long and deep—the sigh of a man who understood exactly how absurd and cruel the shinobi world could be.
In the Pure Land, the stream was quiet for once. No arguments, no boasts. Just the heavy understanding that in Konoha, even legacy could be stolen, and heroes' children could be left with nothing but bills and empty titles.
Sakumo Hatake finally spoke, his voice thick. "My son... pays a student's hospital bills because the village stole his inheritance. And he reads erotic novels. What have I left him with?"
No one had an answer.