Human females don't go into heat the way animals do. The closest we get is ovulation — I think. We actually have a choice whether we consummate or abstain. We aren't programmed to procreate on command, or tied to seasons. We can do it when we want, with who we want — as long as there's attraction, chemistry, or some kind of emotional connection.
At least, that's how it's always been for me.
But right now… none of that applies.
My cold is gone. The chills have vanished — replaced with unbearable heat. My body feels feverish, flushed, burning from the inside out. I'm sweating, restless. Even when I soak myself in water, it isn't enough.
And Eriu won't stop whispering in my head — urging me to mate.
It's been a while. I managed without it before, even when I desperately needed it. So why now? My strength has never fully returned. It drains fast, even when I barely use fire, even when I don't tap into her power.
But I refuse to give in.
I don't want some random stranger touching me. Absolutely not.
I need a distraction.
My wine should be ready. Maybe it will help numb whatever this is.
I stirred the homemade wine. It wasn't fully finished yet — but I drank anyway. Sweet. Tangy. Just enough of a kick. So I drank more. And more.
Mistake.
Because apparently grapes here are not the same. The heat in my body spiked — sharp and instant.
Great. Now I'm even hotter.
And I'm… incredibly turned on.
I slipped into the silk slip dress I made and stood in front of the mirror. My reflection stared back — glowing skin, flushed cheeks, my bosoms fuller, curves highlighted like they belonged to someone else.
And there — on the back of my hand — a new word.
Patience.
Strange. I thought the marks stopped after the goddess revealed herself. My brain couldn't process any of it. All I could focus on was me. My reflection. My body. My hunger.
If I were back in my world, I'd probably be out dancing, flirting, meeting someone I clicked with. I missed being that ordinary city girl — free, normal, uncomplicated.
I twirled in front of the mirror, trying to move the feeling away — but every sway of my body only fueled it.
Just mate already…
That annoying voice. Persistent. Tempting.
No. I can't. I won't keep breaking hearts — Gideon, Aron, Rocco, Talon. They aren't playthings. They don't deserve that kind of pain.
There had to be another way.
Fine, then. I'll handle this myself. I'm a grown woman. I can take care of my own needs without dragging someone else into this mess.
I closed my eyes, let my hands trail gently along my skin, letting imagination fill in what reality couldn't. I reached deep, deep into my soul. I push and stroke harder, faster, as I let out sweet groans of excitement. Heat surged through me, and pleasure filled my senses. I want more.
Then — he appeared in my mind.
Not him.
Why him?
No matter how hard I tried to push him away, he remained — the one I yearned for, the one my heart ached for. Just thinking of him filled me with warmth so intense that tears slipped down my cheeks.
This… wasn't enough. Not with him in my thoughts. It never would be.
I stepped outside, desperate for air, desperate for something to cool me — and found myself wandering. Searching. Starving for closeness. For touch. For comfort.
I saw a figure in the distance — and he reminded me of him.
I ran.
I threw my arms around him, clinging like he was the only anchor I had left.
"Please… don't push me away," I whispered, my voice breaking.
He turned me gently so I could face him — but all I could see was the one I loved. My lips found his, and I poured every longing, every ache, every desperate plea into that kiss. I touched, reached, clung — chasing relief, chasing the feeling of not being alone. He returned my advances with equal passion. The movement, the sounds, and the euphoric sensation, I embraced it all. I kept charging and leading until I was satisfied.
I remember saying I missed him. That I loved him.
And then — darkness.
When I woke, I was cradled in the arms of a stranger — a handsome man with long, orange-red hair, sleeping peacefully.
My heart dropped.
Quietly, I slipped from his hold.
"Thank you… and I'm so sorry," I whispered, before manifesting myself home.
The moment I landed in my cabin, I collapsed to the floor and cried. Ugly, broken sobs.
I slept with someone I didn't know.
I never wanted this. I should have listened. I should have chosen someone I trusted, someone who already knew me — or not done it at all.
My pride, my stubbornness — my refusal to accept what I needed — led me here.
Sienna, what the fucking hell?!