Chapter 84: Coat Room
On Saturday morning, we were in Malibu for my cousin's eleventh birthday.
"Happy birthday!" Rose handed Jake a package.
He unwrapped it. "A magic set? Awesome."
"How lovely. Perhaps he'll grow up to be a carny," Grandma quipped with her usual sarcasm. Evelyn and Jay could easily become great friends, judging by their matching personalities.
Rose continued, seemingly unbothered by Evelyn's remark. "It includes fourteen different illusions that will amaze and astound your friends. But, of course, your friends may be smarter than mine."
Well… I don't know about smarter, but at least they are real...
"Cool!" my cousin exclaimed.
Rose stood up saying goodbye. "Have fun at the Magic Castle."
"Aren't you coming with us?"
"I wish I could, but I gotta go to some clown's wedding," she answered before leaving.
I wonder if Cam will be there too... with all the incredible coincidences that happen around me
"Poor soul," Evelyn muttered, then pushed another package toward him. "Now. Open Grandmommy's present."
Jake unwrapped it but made a disappointed face when he saw what was inside the box. "Clothes?"
"Happy birthday."
"Thanks a lot, but clothes?" he repeated.
"Not clothes, darling. It's Calvin Klein," she spoke proudly, as if that made any difference to an eleven-year-old boy.
"Here," I handed him mine. "Happy birthday, kiddo."
"Wow, an iPod Mini?" Jake reacted excitedly, immediately hugging me. He ran to his room, probably to load some songs right away.
"Grandma, are you sure you don't want to come to Boston this week?" I offered. "Everything will be top quality."
"I can't, sweetheart. I already have something scheduled," she declined, though with an appreciative smile for being invited again.
"I thought you wouldn't invite your uncle. I know you don't like his personality much," she pointed out.
I responded, "I have some conflicted feelings about him," mostly a lack of respect, and then added, "but he is still family... and the trip will piss Judith off."
Especially when she hears how luxurious it was for him.
Grandma let out a poisoned laugh while I went to see what my dad and uncle were doing.
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"Almost ready? Judith and Liz will be here soon," Alan urged beside me.
We walked together into Charlie's room.
"Liz. Thank you," Charlie exclaimed, making the face of someone who clearly did not remember the person's name. "Boy, that would have been embarrassing."
Alan preached, "Charlie, please don't make a bad situation worse. Judith and Liz have been at each other's throats for years."
"Why's that?" Dad blinked.
"I don't know," Uncle Alan started dryly, "Maybe it's because Liz was always more popular, or maybe because Judith was smarter."
My God, if Judith is smarter, then Liz must be a door...
"Maybe, and this is just a theory on my part, it had something to do with the fact that Liz did my brother in the coatroom at our wedding reception," Alan finished, like an angry raccoon.
"Huh," I exclaimed, hearing that. "I can see why she was popular."
Dad smirked, "And you haven't even seen how beautiful she is. Or was… I just hope she stayed hot."
Alan was glaring at both of us, but the doorbell rang before he could continue his rant.
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Uncle Alan answered the door, "Hey, soul sisters. Come on in."
Judith replied curtly, "Hello, Alan"
"Alan, you look fantastic," a woman in a red dress, far too provocative for the occasion, said, adding, "I guess single life really agrees with you." She smiled at my uncle.
"Wow, someone seems to get lucky today," I whispered to Dad, because it was pretty clear what Liz wanted. "And here I am, thinking this was Jake's birthday," I joked, since it looks like his dad is the one getting the best present.
Charlie just frowned.
"You know, doing okay. Starting over, landed on my feet. Like a cat," Uncle Alan answered her.
Then Jake came running, "Hey, Mom," he hugged Judith and quickly turned to his aunt, who was still near the door, "Hey, Aunt Liz!"
She hugged him back. "There's my favorite nephew," she said, handing him a large package. "Happy birthday, sweetie."
"It isn't clothes, is it?" Jake asked.
Grandma also appeared from the kitchen. "This is a surprise," she uttered, looking at both sisters.
Judith just nodded, "Hello, Evelyn."
"You're looking very well," Grandma motioned to Judith's body. "Slimming down nicely."
"Thanks. I recently dropped 160 pounds," she replied sarcastically, tilting her head slightly toward her ex-husband.
"152," Alan corrected.
My dad finally came downstairs, "Hey, everybody"
I did the same.
"Uncle Charlie, Francis, look what Aunt Liz got me!" Jake showed off the skateboard he had just received.
"Awesome," Charlie exclaimed.
I approached my cousin. "My friend Seth knows how to skateboard. I can ask him to teach you sometime."
"Cool!" he beamed.
But Judith immediately found a flaw. "I don't suppose you thought to buy him a safety helmet."
"You ride with Aunt Liz, you take your chances. Right, Liz?" Dad approached her with his usual grin.
But the response was the opposite of what he expected. "This guy? Are you sure?" she grimaced, clearly rejecting the idea.
I gave a small wave. "Hi, I'm Jake's cousin, Francis."
"Liz," she replied, giving me a once-over. "You're the one driving that Ferrari?" she asked with a playful tease
Judith deadpanned, "He is underage, Liz."
"And he has a girlfriend," Summer appeared in the doorway. She handed Jake a present, then walked right up next to me.
She pouted. "I step away for one moment and there's already a tramp circling you," she whispered.
Just like a great sitcom, someone else showed up right after, a busty blonde already clearly drunk. "Hey Charlie, I was passing by..."
"Sal?" I raised an eyebrow.
She noticed me. "Huh, you're the cute one from Mitch's family. No wonder I felt like I'd seen a Charlie-lookalike somewhere."
Summer instantly stepping in front of me, with one hand on her hip, "Somebody order more skanks?" she made a face.
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