What "power of salvation"?
Once again, I couldn't save anyone. The desire to save Blade only came to me after he was already gone. It's beyond being too late. Yet, I truly wished for it, and I obtained power.
I should have known. This power is only capable of breaking things. I used it to kill the enemy. I brandished it for the sole reason of revenge, a cause only for myself. I lost myself in anger, trapped in the simple emotion of wanting to kill the enemy.
No, it wasn't even revenge. I ran away.
Blade taught me how much weight and resolve it takes to kill a person. I turned my eyes away from that responsibility and surrendered my body. It was the result of my own desire to be ruled by power.
I am tasting the price of that choice now. The passion that tormented me so much has vanished entirely. My heart has forgotten the pain, as if the person I was a moment ago was a lie.
Was the sadness of losing a comrade so insignificant to me? Was it such a tiny emotion that it would disappear just by torturing the enemy to death and venting my frustration? Was Blade's life, and the feelings he entrusted to us, something that could be repaid by such a worthless act?
No matter how much I tell myself that couldn't be the case, not even a sense of shame remains in my heart. It is as if it has become someone else's problem.
I have lost another piece of myself.
I stand up and begin to walk. I wander aimlessly through the dark passage. There is no fear. There is only desperation. I move along the path as it leads, eventually arriving at a door.
I open the heavy iron door. Lukewarm outside air flows in. The moon hangs in the sky. Its silver light paints over all colors, dividing the world into black and white.
As I thought, I am on a ship. I step out onto the deck of a large vessel, like a tanker. The ship sits at anchor, seemingly dead. There is nothing but the sea surrounding it.
"I have been waiting for you."
Then, "I" appeared before me. A girl with silver hair stepped toward me and bowed respectfully.
"Now, where should we begin our talk? Though, unfortunately, we don't have much time. If there is anything you wish to ask, I will answer within the scope of what I can."
'Where is this?'
"This is within your dream. The boundary between consciousness and the unconscious. Like an illusion you'll forget once you wake, not everything you see and hear here is meant for you to consciously recognize. Truly, I would like to tell you everything without hiding anything, but please forgive me, as speaking it from my own mouth would violate the Queen's laws. Even holding a fleeting meeting like this by evading her eyes is normally not permitted."
'Who are you?'
"I am an ego who has attained the rank of 'Knight.' My name is Luan Almeiza. Nominally, I would be your Royal Guard."
'The person who emailed my smartphone?'
"Yes. I apologize for communicating in such an incomplete manner. I possess an ability specialized in electronic information processing and radio wave manipulation, and I was using that to find a way to communicate with you in the real world. You may think of me as something like a biological computer that can use Nen. I was also responsible for the bug that occurred at the end of the Milky fight. I exhausted my strength there and couldn't provide much help afterward..."
'The things like red plants, was that your doing too?'
"No. That is a virus of sorts that we possess. Normally, the Queen should have halted all of its activity... but due to a certain problem, it is currently in a state of halfway activity. It seems humans took notice of it and began unnecessary research, leading to a disturbance like this one."
'Who is the Queen?'
"The leader of this swarm. Beyond that..."
The ground beneath my feet shook with a jolt. A low, moaning horn vibrated through the sea. The anchored ship began to move forward slowly.
"There is one last thing I must tell you."
The monochrome vision began to take on a red tint. Red succulents sprouted from every part of the ship, growing rapidly and bloating.
"There are three egos with the rank of 'Knight' in this swarm. One is myself, and the other's name is 'Katroi Benson.' He has been entrusted with the protection of the Queen in the deep psyche of this dream, so you likely won't have a chance to speak with him, but he is a benevolent existence. You have nothing to worry about."
The girl calling herself Luan showed not a hint of agitation on the rapidly changing ship. She accepted the world as if it were natural.
"The biggest problem is the third Knight. That one has the oldest origin in this swarm and thus possesses a powerful ego. You must have met them once. You held a meeting just like you are with me."
The girl who came to my mind was the one I met when I first had this dream. A girl with the same appearance as me, yet clearly a different existence from Luan. She was more childish, a dreamer, possessing only a selfish sense of justice and a hunger for power.
"That one's name is 'Monad.' A madman who believes from the bottom of their heart that this world is a storybook world created by their own fantasy. You've likely sensed it. Through their ability, you can temporarily use the power of this swarm, but as a price, your ego is being absorbed. Monad's goal is the usurpation of the throne."
A massive number of crystals were growing on the ship. Luan's body began to be engulfed by the growth of the red plants.
"That one thinks nothing of the spread of this virus. Rather, they are encouraging it. By exercising that power through the network, there was a risk of hundreds of thousands of people being infected. Fortunately, cyber warfare is my specialty, so the damage was kept to a minimum, but..."
I realized that if I had made one wrong move, humanity might have found itself with a massive lesion capable of destroying itself. Accompanied by a pain that would not allow one to look away.
"You must never use that power again."
Leaving those words behind, Luan was consumed by the crystals. Before long, I too was locked within the red prison.
Three days have passed since the conclusion of the Sky Island hijacking incident. Jurisdiction for the investigation was swiftly transferred from local authorities to the World Security Council, and much remains unclear due to the information blackout. However, it seems such things are common.
The excitement peaked on the first day of reporting, and now it has become a topic lost among other news. I had expected it to be covered extensively as an unprecedented major incident, but to the public, it might have been a disturbance of less consequence than I thought.
On the night of the incident, when I regained consciousness after using my power, I had already escaped from the airship. I woke up in a neighboring country at least several thousand kilometers away from where the ship was supposed to be. I had no memory of how I moved that far from a ship flying over the ocean.
I regained consciousness on the morning of the second day after the incident. For the time being, I confirmed the safety of several iTubers, including Pomerni, through internet news, so I didn't feel the need to know the details of the incident's aftermath any further.
It's no longer something of interest to me.
This was a grassland area with a good view. It was a place designated as a vast nature reserve, and no people lived nearby. Six walked under the peaceful sunlight while holding her insect body under her arm.
There are a few things that have changed from before. One is the size of the main body. It has clearly grown larger. Before, it was a size I could somehow hide under my clothes, but now it is about the size of a rugby ball.
When I woke up after using my power, it was already this size. It has grown rapidly, as if it molted. It had become too large to fit inside the stuffed animal I had been using. It's still a size I can somehow carry and hide, but if it continues to grow, I'll have to think of another method.
Bright purple flowers began to mix into the prairie like spots. Looking past the meadow to the hills beyond, a purple carpet stretched out across the horizon. At first glance, it was a beautiful sight. But I had a lingering, unsettled impression of those flowers.
I felt like I had seen them somewhere. I remembered them being introduced in a video, but I couldn't recall the specifics. Thinking I might search for it, I pulled out my smartphone and turned it on.
The phone was also one of the things that had changed significantly. It previously had a simple silver design, but after the incident, its exterior had turned red. A pattern like a circuit glowing pale blue was drawn on the back cover.
The cause of the design change is unknown. However, I suspect it was Luan's doing. It's a bit eerie, but the functions remained the same. I don't know when the service contract might be terminated, but for now, I intend to keep using it while I can.
While wondering why the battery didn't seem to be decreasing even though I hadn't charged it once in three days, I launched the iTube home screen from the cyber network. When I checked my page, several videos I had uploaded so far were listed. The emotion I held while looking at that screen might be the greatest change of all.
No matter which one I look back at, none of them move my heart. Why was I so obsessed with making videos and wanting to be an iTuber?
I have the answer to that question, yet I can't feel like it's a conclusion I reached. As if waking from a dream, the impulse that drove me was gone.
It's not that I've lost my memories. I can remember the days of filming videos and all the people I was involved with as an iTuber. And yet.
It felt like the feeling after finishing a book. The story has been read to the end. The things I did and the things that happened on that ship have concluded within me. That's why there is no "after" for me now. I can only reopen the closed book and reread the written words.
I opened my contact list. There were only two names recorded in the phonebook: Pomerni and Luan Almeiza. All communications from outside the list were set to be rejected, and among the two, there were numerous missed calls from Pomerni.
But I haven't answered even once.
For some reason, it feels like a very frightening thing. What would he say to me from the other side of the phone? And what would I feel from those words? What could I feel?
That's why I think this was for the best.
I deleted Pomerni's entry from the list and put the smartphone away. I continued walking through the flower-filled grassland in the vaguely blurred sunlight. The purple prairie swaying in the wind created waves of light and shadow. While watching it, I suddenly remembered.
The name of that flower is Shishikisou. It possesses vigorous reproductive power and vitality, and it had been designated as an invasive alien species that would eradicate native plants once it spread.
Its place of origin is another continent, but its seeds crossed the sea due to human activity, and it is a plant that has expanded its habitat worldwide. Cases of alien species bringing about significant changes to ecosystems are countless, not just limited to this plant.
It had been introduced in a video by Blade Max. A Scenery Hunter, he described the purple flower fields as neither beautiful nor ugly. He said it was just one way for a life to exist, nothing more and nothing less.
In the process of evolution, organisms spent tens or hundreds of thousands of years creating the current ecosystem. Within that, countless species fought to survive; some flourished, and some went extinct.
The essence of the change brought by alien species is no different. Whether it takes a dizzying amount of time or changes in an instant, that is the only difference. The native species, the alien species, and the humans involved were all results of each trying to live better.
The important thing is to accept that fact and think about what should be done. Whether the choice beyond that is good or evil, right or wrong, or if there is even an end, is uncertain. Even so, Blade said that it is important to keep thinking without stopping at a single answer.
I felt bewildered by his words, which remained vivid in my memory. Why did they leave such an impression? But I felt that they were words that must not be forgotten.
In order to imagine the "after" of the book I finished reading.