He probably wanted to convey that explanation concisely in his own way, but he was rushing too much and speaking too fast. Combined with the sobbing, it was hard to hear, and it took time to understand everything.
"Understood. But in that case, I can't let you die even more. You're the one who can understand enemy information that Chel can't fully grasp. Prioritize the execution of the mission."
"There are dozens of enemy reactions! With the Captain's ability, you c-c-can't stop them!"
"It's better than leaving it to you! What can a disgracefully trembling sewer dog do!"
Gragg grabbed Katroi by the lapels and lifted him up. A fist flew.
Katroi punched Gragg away.
"...I'm resigning from Quantum! I won't take anyone's orders!"
Leaving those words behind, we had no choice but to watch in amazement as Katroi ran back the way we came.
Gragg, having stood up, glanced deep into the forest but did not chase after Katroi.
"Let's go, Quinn."
My body followed the pleasant-sounding, prepared "answer." We started running toward the exit of the forest. Without needing to think, that was "correct."
The one who was wrong was Katroi. Certainly, there are cases where one prioritizes the mission even at the cost of oneself. But what he did was nothing but a suicide act. What good comes from disobeying a superior's order and charging into the midst of an enemy formation one couldn't possibly defeat?
That was an action already deviated from the purpose of the mission. No matter what intentions he had inside, objectively speaking, it was clear that it was an inappropriate judgment.
And yet, why—
"Quinn?"
—do I feel a sense of "correctness" in his actions?
"Don't stop...!"
When I was caught by the Worm's thread, Gragg reacted first and shifted from escape to confrontation. Considering the mission, it couldn't be called appropriate. Why did he take such an action?
Having witnessed the power of the Almeiza Machine, they knew this ability was effective against the Worm too. Gragg, Katroi, Quinn. Among these three, they must have realized who had the most power to fight the enemy.
But the two of them made no demands of me. They didn't beg for help.
Why?
The answers were probably countless. Just because I hadn't noticed, there were plenty in the process leading up to this point. Nevertheless, I still hadn't fully grasped the shape of it.
I wanted to know. The reason I wanted to leave the Dark Continent must lie there. I didn't aim for the outside world just to survive, or because I wanted to go to a safe place.
"I'm going to Katroi."
I had something like a conviction. Surely, he was standing at a moment where human nature is most laid bare—a moment that might happen once in a lifetime or not at all. Or perhaps, it was an opportunity where even a fool like me could understand that nature. Knowing fully well that it was dangerous, I still couldn't suppress my curiosity. I wanted to know the meaning of the action he was trying to perform.
Gragg told me not to go. Quinn is not a member of Quantum. There is no need to go save Katroi, he said.
Thinking rationally from Quinn's position, that was true. However, humans are beings that, while seeking rationality, do not follow it at all.
Indeed, Quinn is not Quantum. Therefore, there is no obligation to respond to the captain's words. I decided to follow my own desire.
There are people who can't do anything well no matter what they try. Studying, sports, work. One could say it's a lack of effort. Even if they are pessimistic, no one will help them, and most people live their lives coming to terms with their own capacity.
If pressed to say, he was catastrophically bad at coming to terms with it. He would recklessly pile on challenges without knowing his own limits, only to disappoint those around him. Even though he used his head in his own way to think about what went wrong, he would repeat the same mistakes again.
However, no matter how untalented a person is, if they continue to make an effort, they will grow to an average level. Whether in studying, exercise, or work, he wasn't a person lacking in ability to the extent that he was inferior to others.
But he was never evaluated. He had an atmosphere that somehow made people uncomfortable. Did not get along, rubbed people the wrong way. Just talking to him made people irritated. Even his family shunned him. They didn't show it in their expressions or words, but he realized he was causing trouble.
He could understand the malice directed at him from people as if he could hold it in his hand. All he could understand was malice; he was unrelated to affection or friendship. At least, the world he saw was filled with malice.
Childhood, student days, working adult—consistently, he had never managed to build decent human relationships. There was no way he could make friends, and he was bullied as a daily occurrence. No matter how hard he worked, he was never recognized. Yet, if he made even a single mistake, he was reprimanded as if he were their parents' enemy.
He drifted from job to job. In a situation where he couldn't see a single prospect for the future, a turning point that completely changed his life visited him.
That day, he was at a convenience store. He had finally finished the overtime that had been pushed onto him and had come to buy dinner late at night. By chance, there were no other customers in the store.
A single large man entered. A mask on his head, a handgun in his hand. It was obvious at a glance that he was a robber. Naturally, it wasn't an opponent he could do anything about. For a moment, his eyes met the threatened clerk's, but he could only tremble violently in return.
When the robber, having stolen the money, tried to leave the store, a customer unfortunately entered. It was a middle-aged man wearing something like a gi, and one could tell he trained his body. However, he couldn't possibly be a match for a robber with a gun.
The robber pointed the muzzle and yelled at him to move. Suddenly, the robber started spinning at high speed on the spot like a figure skater, and then lost consciousness and flipped over. Ignoring him and the stunned clerk, the man in the gi walked through the store as if nothing had happened, bought a few cheap drinks and snacks, and went home.
He didn't understand what had happened, but he understood that the man was no ordinary person. He had defeated the robber with some unimaginable technique. He flew out of the store and chased after the man. He demanded to know what he had done.
He himself didn't know why he took such an action at that time. But from that day on, his life changed decisively. He came to learn Nen under the man.
That man was an acting master of the Shingen-Ryu style. He was a renowned martial artist in those circles, but also famous for being eccentric. Despite holding the position of acting master, he had taken only three disciples. Among the disciples who had all blossomed as extraordinary talents, only he was of a different breed.
'You have no fighting spirit.'
As one aspiring to martial arts, he lacked the heart that should naturally be there. The essence of martial arts is to harm others. It is something that takes form when the instinct inherent in living things is combined with the human reason that controls it. He did not possess that quality. That was a fatal flaw as both a martial artist and a Nen user.
'You are an excessively "normal" human.'
Nevertheless, within human society, it is a quality unnecessary for living an average life. Rather, it is a quality that humans have selectively eliminated in separating from the wild and constructing society. In other words, he was a completely ordinary human, just like the majority the master spoke of.
'And yet, why do you not break?'