However, conversely, this meant that the closer they got, the more the accuracy and power of the enemy's attack increased. Even at the current distance, destruction was possible. If they got any closer, I wasn't confident my 'Ryu' would make it in time.
I shot 'Erosion Machine Bullets' at the protruding enemies to keep them in check. I no longer held even the modest hope that they might hit. There was no way they would hit an enemy on full alert. But precisely because they were on alert, it could serve as a check.
I wanted to avoid firing these bullets if possible. These were eggs, and for me, they were also one of my brains. With every shot, the collective consciousness shrank, and the number of tasks I could process decreased. The remaining number of eggs was already below half, and I was overworking the divided consciousness at the very limit of processing capacity. There were only a few hundred bullets. I couldn't waste a single one.
Did the time earned from the enemy by whittling down my own body amount to 0.1 seconds? Or 0.01 seconds? If I didn't create that gap, mere blink-of-an-eye moments, I couldn't escape.
If I didn't maintain distance, I would be dragged into the opponent's offensive all at once. I paid the utmost attention, intending not to let the enemy get close. But the front line was slowly closing in.
Finally, the situation I feared occurred. A wave of resonance attacks came. Attacks began reaching me from multiple enemies. I had to perform aura movement via 'Ryu' for two or more points, judging the timing and executing them simultaneously. To use an analogy, it was as difficult as performing completely different tasks with the right and left hands.
That level was still just the beginning. At times I handled three or more, four or more aura movements. Furthermore, there were cases where two or more attacks were fired at the same target. For example, two Withered Tree Humans would launch resonance destruction at Quinn's heart all at once.
The timing of 'Ryu' in that case became even more severe. Because it became easier for them to match the frequency I had escaped to. While reading several moves ahead, without relaxing attention on other resonances, I had to constantly keep moving the aura in every conceivable part of my body.
Because of that, I was forced to drop the reinforcement of my leg strength. Having my legs destroyed would be the worst outcome. To allow a range of fluctuation in the enhancement rate values, I had to intentionally keep the enhancement rate lowered, or I would eventually be cornered. If I was always at full reinforcement, there was no room to fluctuate.
I had to frequently change the enhancement rate between the left and right legs, which also affected my running posture. Naturally, speed decreased, the enemy closed the distance, and the difficulty of 'Ryu' increased—creating a vicious cycle.
Not just Quinn, but the main body's internal organs were also targeted. Since I was firing bullets from the main body, it was natural. I had to defend that at all costs, and I ended up putting more effort into 'Ryu' than necessary. Because of that, other defenses became thin.
Quinn's left arm burst open. I couldn't protect it. It didn't hinder running. I limited the aura repair to just stopping the bleeding at the wound. This wasn't the time to consume extra aura. The balance of weight between left and right shifted, causing my posture to crumble.
If I fell, everything would end there. I managed to hold my ground. I forced tasks exceeding the usage limit onto the divided consciousness for posture control, and the eggs were dying from overwork. My feet lagged, and the distance to the enemy shrank again.
It was no longer a situation where I could spare bullet fire. If I didn't shoot, I would be killed. The enemy gradually got used to my attacks and stopped putting more effort into evasion than necessary. They dodged with composure. The checking effect was starting to wear off.
How much time had passed since the escape began? I had already lost a normal sense of time. Inside me, I felt like I had been running for hours. But since the effect of the 'Soul Stone' hadn't run out yet, in reality, probably not even a few minutes had passed.
The boost from the stone lasts about three minutes. Once that effective time ended, my potential aura would plummet, and I wouldn't be able to use decent Nen abilities. If I fell into such a situation under these conditions, my life would be forfeit. This escape had a time limit from the start.
At first, I had created one consciousness to measure time, but I stopped halfway through. If I had consciousness to spare for such a thing, it was better to make it do other work. If I didn't escape in time, I would die. That was all there was to it.
How much time was left? I might be dead a second later. A situation where I could only wait to sink, like a ship with countless holes in its bottom. In that desperate situation, I continued to run single-mindedly.
At that moment, light shone from between the trees lined up as if blocking the way. The dense forest was breaking. I ran through toward the light pouring in like a guidepost representing hope.
What was there was a cliff.
A massive canyon appeared before my eyes. The bottom of the valley was dizzily far away. There seemed to be water flowing, but falling from this height, the impact would be no different from crashing into the ground. And more than that, I didn't know what threats lurked by the waterside. Either way, if I fell, the possibility of survival was low.
The opposite bank of the canyon was far away. Unless I flew through the sky, it didn't look like I could cross over.
The enemy must have known there was a huge canyon here. They had spread out and deployed as if to block escape routes to the left and right. They intended to corner me in this place.
All is lost. That's what they must be thinking. But I had not the slightest intention of slowing down. I continued running straight toward the cliff and stepped into the void beyond without hesitation.
Just as the enemy knew about this place, I had also investigated the existence of a canyon here beforehand. I had explored this area thoroughly. There was no way I would miss such a large topographical change.
I was aiming for this place from the beginning knowing this. Unless it was this place, I couldn't shake off the enemy. That was why I could carry out a reckless escape drama, taking into account the time limit of a few minutes.
A leap using a sprint at maximum power, the likes of which couldn't be exceeded, as a run-up. I leaped vigorously into the air from the cliff edge. Quinn was holding the main body in her right hand.
"Haaaaaaaah!"
Toward the opposite bank, she threw the main body. A full-power throw, disregarding damage to the arm, from a jump that exceeded limits to the point of breaking the legs. I would use up Quinn here. Using up all remaining aura, focusing solely on letting the main body escape.
The main body folded its legs and curled its body, becoming a ball to reduce air resistance as much as possible, and flew through the sky. With this momentum, it would reach the opposite bank. Speed enough to make me think so.
I escaped the enemy. However, I couldn't relax here. Rather, this was the critical moment.
After throwing the main body, Quinn was exposed to the enemy's resonance attack faster than she could fall. The reason I had been able to prevent this attack until now was largely due to the accelerated consciousness extremely heightened by 'Thinking Operation'. It was a technique Quinn couldn't use alone, separated from the main body.
Quinn burst apart into pieces until her original form was unrecognizable, scattering blood spray. Up to this point, it was within the scope of assumption. The main body was already in a position with sufficient distance from the enemy. The resonance attack wouldn't reach here.
The problem was the price I had to pay due to Quinn's death. Anticipating this, I had to suppress the consumption of eggs as much as possible. Even though I couldn't have escaped otherwise, the loss was greater than expected.
The remaining number was 345. After subtracting the price of 333, almost nothing would remain. Furthermore, that number was the minimum value of the price; the number actually lost would exceed it. And when the residual number dropped below zero, the main body would also lose its life.
I had a grace of only 12 eggs. If I couldn't keep the loss within that range, even if I escaped, I had no life. For that purpose, I had to calm my mind and promptly accept my own death.
Struggle, struggle, and accept death at the end of the struggle—how contradictory. Dying to live, becoming desperate to die. Reality is truly heartless.
Point, Tongue, Temper, Release.
I entered meditation to completely cut off the senses connecting to the outside world and immerse myself in the inner spirit. I hadn't practiced 'Flame' for a long time, but I was relieved that I could transition to meditation smoothly.
Let's start the final touch. I faced the recognition of death spreading within me.
What kind of state is the sensation of accepting death, to begin with?
At first, I thought it was about losing all the senses one possesses and becoming unable to recognize anything. For example, a state like being in a deep sleep. Consciousness disappears, and one never wakes up again. Wouldn't it be like being left behind in darkness created by losing the five senses?
However, it is obvious, but sleeping is not death. Even if consciousness is gone, the brain is functioning, and the darkness created during that time is also merely something one is seeing oneself.
Then, I thought that the state of nothingness, where one can no longer think of anything, might be death. But isn't the state of not thinking anything a state where one is thinking about 'not thinking anything'? No matter how much I tried to empty my mind and make it nothing, the nothingness I conceived existed there.
As a conclusion, I think that as long as one is in a living state, no matter how close one gets to death, it is "life" and not "death". It's a relationship like the heads and tails of a coin. When looking at heads, you can't see tails, and vice versa. Between them, there is a separation that cannot be peeked into.
However, a coin can be viewed from the side. If heads is represented as "○" and tails as "●", then looking from the side is "|". A single line. But is there an intermediate territory between life and death? I thought that this coin has no thickness. When viewed from the side, nothing exists there.
In other words, nothingness. Isn't trying to see that non-existent territory what it means to "accept death"?
Then, the discussion becomes: how exactly do you do that? Being a living person while pressing close to death, trying to cross that absolute separation, is almost an abnormal sensation. A state beyond the imagination that deviates from ethics and common sense.
That was what I thought at first. But apparently, that's not quite it. If one aims for such a special state of mind, one rather gets stuck in the depths of thought and moves away from nothingness.
Therefore, it is a rudimentary and primitive state, needing no further thought. A state prior to thinking and trying to do something. More immature than ignorance, nihilistic, and yet alive.
I thought it was an egg. The birth of life, the moment life arises; its existence lies in the rift between being and nothingness.
Therefore, the fact that my ability sacrifices eggs made sense more than anything else. The moment 'Mental Synchronization' cuts off and the supply of ego is severed, the egg gains exceptional aptitude for "accepting death". Because it is most fragile against the threat of death, it existed in a position closest to that place.
...Is what I am thinking now. The fact that I am thinking means I am alive. I overcame the fierce battle with the Withered Tree Humans and managed to return alive.
Six days have passed since then. For a while, I focused on recovering physical strength and eggs, continuing to hide. I've had enough of looking for returns.
Come to think of it, if there are useful resources for surviving on this continent, it wouldn't be strange if there were already creatures monopolizing them as their territory. No, it would be stranger if there weren't. And in this ecosystem that seems like a concentrated solidification of survival of the fittest, any creature capable of forming a stable territory would naturally be strong. If one searches for hope (return), the danger of colliding with calamity (risk) inevitably rises.
I concentrated on my initial objective: finding the sea. And currently, having exited the forest, I am in a place that seems to be a sandy beach.
Sand dunes spread out as far as the eye can see. It looks more like a desert than a beach. But if you look closely into the sand, many seashells are mixed in. The sea level must have been up to this place in the past.
Why has the sea level dropped until the sandy ground is exposed like this? While harboring a touch of anxiety, I decided to walk forward across the vast sandy beach.