Villa.
"Alright, now that we've finished our adorable little 'Kamisato Turtle,' it's time for the next one."
"Unserious Commentary, Item Two—The Comedy Queen!"
Strictly speaking, this had nothing to do with Ayaka herself.
But her voice actress did get meme'd into oblivion online.
And besides—this is the Unserious commentary!
If Aether already suffered the "I am Kamisato Ayaka's dog" meme thanks to her VA…
then Ayaka certainly deserves an equal dose of 'fair and objective treatment'!
So—accept the N-energy, Ayaka~
Kamisato Estate – Inazuma
Ayaka had still been thinking about Fontaine clothes.
She was seriously considering going to browse them later today—anything to avoid wearing this "turtle-shadow dress" again.
Just thinking about "Kamisato Turtle" made her chest fill with a quiet, elegant fury.
But then—
"…Comedy… girl?"
"Wait—are they talking about me?"
She stared blankly at the light screen.
"That's impossible! Miss Ayaka, you and 'comedy' don't even belong in the same sentence."
Thoma finally stopped laughing long enough to say something proper.
Ayato nodded calmly.
His sister was gentle, dutiful, elegant—her personality was the complete opposite of a troublemaking clown.
But Ayato was also painfully familiar with the light screen's… creative angles.
"Let's watch first."
"Brother, this time it must be a mistake~"
Ayaka smiled confidently.
She knew herself best.
She rarely even smiled casually, let alone acted silly.
The Kamisato heir, raised with years of etiquette training, becoming a "Comedy Queen"?
Impossible!
As for "Kamisato Turtle"?
Well… that was an accident.
Who would expect the sunlight and waves to form a turtle-shaped shadow?
But a "Comedy Queen"?
Ridiculous.
Liyue – Jade Chamber
"Comedy girl?"
"Does the Kamisato heiress actually have such a hidden personality?"
Ningguang put down her chopsticks, genuinely curious.
From the earlier serious commentary, Ayaka looked like a pure noble lady—
or noble turtle…
(Ahem. Ningguang quickly corrected her thoughts.)
Keqing flicked her ponytail.
"Impossible. They must've gotten it wrong."
A soft voice suddenly drifted over.
"Keqing was also very confident yesterday~ And then…"
Keqing's expression froze.
Right.
Every time she said "Impossible!", she got slapped by reality.
She turned slowly.
Ganyu was quietly eating Qingxin with innocent eyes.
"Keqing, is something wrong?"
"...No. Continue eating."
Keqing sighed.
She now understood—Ganyu's past must never be mentioned.
Not by anyone except the light screen!
[Supernatural Chat Group]
Aether: "Huh?? Comedy girl? Are we sure that's Ayaka?"
Paimon: "Yeah yeah! We came here to laugh, not to rewrite her entire character setting!"
Venti: "If anyone's a comedy trio, it's you, Alice, and Furina~"
Zhongli: "From a universal rational perspective, this is correct."
Ei: "…Agreed."
Nahida: "It does sound accurate…"
Furina: "W-Wait! Defamation! Slander! I'll bring you all to trial!"
Neuvillette: "Although I do not quite understand, it is… not wrong."
Sigewinne: "As expected of Monsieur Neuvillette! Always so refined!"
Navia: "Where was the refinement…?"
Ayaka sighed helplessly at the derailment.
The chat group could go off-topic faster than a Shogunate tax collector running from debt.
Ayaka: "Everyone, I believe the light screen must be mistaken."
Ayato: "Even 'little turtle' had some basis, but 'comedy'? That seems impossible."
Thoma: "Agreed!"
Alice: "Don't forget Keqing's thunder-slime immunity!"
Venti: "Immune~ immune~ immune~"
Keqing: "…My head hurts."
Aether: "That's her lifelong nemesis, after all!"
Keqing: "...…"
Ayaka gulped.
"Could mine also be something like that…?"
She suddenly wasn't as confident anymore.
Villa
Arthur smiled.
"As usual, mere words cannot convey what 'Comedy Girl' means."
"So—let's watch a video."
He clicked.
[If Kamisato Ayaka Were Dubbed by VA N]
Peaceful meadow.
Ayaka walking gracefully.
She sees a chest.
Her eyes light up.
She runs over—still elegant.
The chest opens.
"Yayyyyy—!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!——"
Everyone: "........"
The voice had been replaced with Ayaka's own—
but with the spirit of a chaotic gremlin.
Straight to the soul.
Straight to the brainstem.
The entire continent froze.
Then—
Ayaka spots another chest.
She opens it—
Inside is a single cabbage.
"What IS THISSSSS——?!?!"
The noble Kamisato lady had vanished.
Replaced by a gremlin rolling on the grass throwing tantrums.
Next clip—
Two Ayakas fighting two Treasure Hoarders.
She gets slammed.
"AHHHHH——!!!"
She dies.
"Life has finally…
raised its hand…
against this poor little kitten~~~!!!"
Next—
"biubiubiubiubiu—!!"
And—
"Qi-zi~ (I'm mad) Qi-zi~ (I'm mad) Qi-zi~~!"
Then—
She points at the Traveler.
"Inazuma Shogunate's Kamisato… son-in-law?"
Ayaka voice:
"HEHEHEH——!!
Keep dreaming!
You think YOU can be the Kamisato son-in-law?!"
Video ends.
Silence.
Then:
Chaos.
[Public Chat]
Hoffman: "Pfft—HAHAHAHA! This is your Kamisato lady?!"
Ogura Mio: "Impossible!! That can't be Ayaka!! (mental breakdown.jpg)"
Yuririha: "Great… now all I can picture in my head is the 'Kamisato Turtle' and that video… I'm so sorry, Miss Ayaka…"
Mondstadt – Outside Springvale
Aether stared at the screen.
"Hah?!
This is Ayaka?!"
Paimon sipped coconut milk and laughed.
"That looks more like you when you find treasure!"
Aether slowly turned her head.
"…Are you calling me a comedy girl?"
"N-no! P-Paimon is drunk!"
She waved the coconut milk as if it were alcohol.
Aether ignored her and kept watching—
giggles returning as soon as the next clip came.
But the moment "Kamisato Son-in-law" appeared:
Both Aether and Paimon froze.
Paimon seized the dramatic opportunity:
"Traveler is an Honorary Knight, future Friend of All Adepti, potential First Sage—
how could she be unworthy of being the Kamisato son-in-law?!"
Aether: "Exactly!"
Then Aether suddenly stopped.
"Wait—
why would I want to be a son-in-law?!
My preferences are normal!!!"
Paimon gasped:
"Th-then… do you want to be her dog?"
Aether: "...…"
Should she stew this emergency food?
Kamisato Estate
Ayato finally understood.
"Oh… it's that kind of dubbing. Just like the 'I am Kamisato Ayaka's dog' meme."
He chuckled.
"Still… I must admit—this version of Ayaka is amusing."
Thoma bent over laughing again.
But Ayaka—
Ayaka was numb.
"That… that wasn't me!"
Seven-seven, seven-seven, seven-seven—
Hehehehehe!
Kamisato… son-in-law??
Her noble image shattered into dust.
Her reputation…
Her dignity…
"Light screen… you've ruined my entire life!
You'll have to take responsibility for me!!"
[Supernatural Chat Group]
Xiangling: "Was that… really Ayaka?"
Hu Tao: "biubiubiubiubiu~"
Yae Miko: "Hehehe—keep dreaming, Kamisato son-in-law~"
Alice: "You dare undermine my executioner's prestige? Three years have passed. Traveler—return to reclaim your Kamisato throne! (evil grin)"
Aether: "…Stop! Your mouth is already bent toward Celestia!"
Ayaka: "That was the VA! Not me! Stop mixing us up!! (collapsing.png)"
Paimon: "…This feels familiar somehow."
Zhongli: "Aether, Traveler, and that woman named Bao Bao."
Yae Miko: "I am Kamisato Ayaka's dog~"
Alice: "Feel the N-energy~"
Ayaka: "STOPPPP!"
Villa
Arthur laughed.
But to him, "Comedy Girl" wasn't even the main dish.
The next one was.
Today's real theme:
Yandere.
Originally he wanted to do the meme "Waiting for Kamisato,"
but it didn't translate well out of context.
So he chose:
[Yandere]
And honestly, "yandere Ayaka" did evolve from "Waiting for Kamisato,"
so it still counted.
And so—
He smiled mischievously at the livestream.
"Coming up next—Unserious Commentary Item Three…"
"Yandere Ayaka."
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