The front door slides open and the house instantly fills with noise.
Girls' voices, overlapping laughter, the rustle of shopping bags, the unmistakable thud of someone kicking off shoes in the genkan.
I'm already in my room, door locked, key turned twice, shoulder pressed against the wood like I'm barricading a fortress.
Kiyomi (from the hallway, bright and dangerous)
Everyone, make yourselves at home!
Kitchen is yours, living room is yours, just don't go into the right-side room, okay?
My brother's being his usual hermit self.
A chorus of understanding "Okaaaay~" and giggles.
I slide down until I'm sitting on the floor, back against the door, knees pulled to my chest.
Reason one: the real Kiyoshi would never, ever come out for something like this.
He didn't do birthday parties, didn't do New Year's visits, didn't do "girls' night plus a few basketball guys."
If I suddenly appear smiling and sociable, someone who knew him well will notice the fracture lines immediately.
Reason two: I'm terrified.
Footsteps pass my door.
Someone tries the handle (gently, curiously).
The lock holds.
Girl's voice I don't recognize
Wow, he really locks it?
Kiyomi-chan, your brother is scary-cool.
Kiyomi (laughing, but I hear the thin edge in it)
He's just shy! (A sigh sound)
Leave him alone or he'll actually bite.
More laughter.
Music starts (some upbeat summer idol song).
The smell of melon soda and potato chips seeps under the door.
I rest my forehead on my knees.
The gun is still in the drawer.
The diary is under the pillow.
The badges are wrapped in a towel at the bottom of the closet.
If any one of Kiyomi's friends opens this door, everything ends.
I count heartbeats.
Ten minutes pass.
Twenty.
Someone puts on a drama OST and half the girls start singing off-key.
Knock knock knock.
Soft.
Familiar.
Kiyomi (whisper through the door)
Kiyoshi…
You okay in there?
I don't answer.
Kiyomi (lower)
I know you're scared.
I know why.
But no one's going to force you.
I just… wanted the house to feel alive for once.
Her voice wavers.
Kiyomi
I miss when it was loud because we were both in it.
Silence.
Then the softest sound (her palm resting flat against the door, like she's trying to reach through the wood).
Kiyomi
I'll keep them away.
Promise.
Her footsteps retreat.
The party continues without me.
I stay on the floor, arms around my knees, listening to the muffled joy on the other side of six centimeters of plywood and a cheap lock.
Every laugh feels like evidence.
Every shout of "truth or dare!" feels like a countdown.
I am the impostor king in a castle with paper walls.
Hours crawl.
Eventually the music lowers.
Voices soften into sleepy goodbyes.
Doors slide, shoes shuffle, the front door closes again and again until the house falls into a sudden, hollow quiet.
The lock clicks.
The door opens a crack.
Kiyomi slips inside, closes it behind her, leans back against it.
She's barefoot, hair messy, holding two cans of coffee milk.
The room is dark except for the streetlight bleeding through the blinds.
She slides down opposite me until we're sitting face-to-face on the floor, knees almost touching.
Kiyomi (quiet)
They're all gone.
I nod.
She offers me one of the cans.
I take it.
We drink in silence.
Some little alcohol, I wonder if Kiyoshi was good at handling Alcohol
Kiyomi
You didn't have to hide, you know.
No one would've judged.
Kiyoshi (hoarse)
You know why I did.
She looks at me for a long time.
Kiyomi
Yeah.
I do.
Another silence.
Then she scoots forward, sets her empty can aside, and without warning rests her forehead against mine.
Kiyomi
I don't care who you were before.
I don't care what's in the drawer or under the pillow.
You cooked for me when I was sick.
You went to the fireworks.
You made Tada cry with good advice in a ramen shop.
Her voice cracks.
Kiyomi
You're here now.
That's enough.
I close my eyes.
The room smells like melon soda and summer and the faint trace of gun oil that never quite leaves.
Kiyoshi
If they ever find out—Kiyomi
Then we'll face it together.
Like always.
She pulls back, offers the smallest, tiredest smile.
Kiyomi
Next time I'll make it a smaller group.
Or give you warning.
Or… I don't know.
I just wanted the house to feel like a home again.
I reach out and flick her forehead (gently, the way only I'm allowed).
The night is quiet again.