"AB College."
"So... you're really transferring to a private school?" Mei-mei finally asked. Her tone was sharper than before.
"Yes. My mind is made up. Why?"
Mei-mei let out a sigh. A breath dragged from her weighted chest. "Why do you have to go there? Your scores are excellent. The best in the class, even. You know we all constantly ask you to teach us. If you leave, it'll feel weird. You would definitely get into DB Academy."
The afternoon wind suddenly gusted, blowing strands of Nazma's fringe to cover part of her face, while she blinked and gently brushed the hair aside, trying to organize her words, however, the more she tried, the more the answers eluded her.
The air grew thin. It carried a chill. It settled deep in Nazma's chest. It left her hollow.
"Mei, I don't want to leave you guys either, yet Mom says this is an opportunity, there's a scholarship, and..."
"But why does it have to be you?" Mei-mei interrupted. Her voice trembled. "Why can't it be someone else? We still need you here."
Nazma drew a breath. Her words broke. "I... I just..."
The wind blew again, this time softer, leaving a cold shiver down Nazma's spine and making her heart race with an unease she couldn't name. She bit her lip. She searched for the right sentence. Everything she thought of felt wrong.
"I don't know what to say, Mei..." she finally whispered. Her voice was low. Hesitant. The small girl tried to hold back both the wind and the turmoil of feeling inside her.
"I know I got accepted into DB Academy too," she continued, her tone almost like an apology. "This school, AB College... I feel like I have to try it. Even if I am still confused myself."
The silence descended again. Thicker. More stifling. She couldn't find the words. Mei-mei didn't give her room.
Finally, she just said softly, "I still want you to support me."
Mei-mei didn't answer. She just stared at the floor. An unsettling feeling rolled between them. It was like air that was hard to breathe.
The silence returned. Thick. Pressing. Sharp. Suffocating.
A flicker of an old memory resurfaced, uninvited; a shadow from a time when smiles were rarer than tears.
Nazma's friends watched her approach slowly, her small steps stopping right in front of them, while the child lifted her face, hoping to be welcomed, though her eyes looked vacant when she gazed far away.
Her eyebrows were thin. Furrowed. Her lips were small. An innocent smile. It made them want to laugh. Strands of hair escaped her ponytail. They covered her cheek. Soft cheeks. Flushed. They thought she looked funny. They decided to belittle her.
They saw all of it, and yet kindness was not what crossed their minds, for it was as if such an innocent face was meant to be a target, as if her tears would fall easily, and that was what made them feel powerful.
The small girl approached the group. She smiled. She wanted to join. Before she could speak, a voice cut her off.
"Go away, go away! You don't deserve to be friends with us," said one child, pushing her shoulder.
Laughter erupted. "Yahahaha!" full of mockery.
"Look at her. She's so funny," someone said. Her forehead furrowed. Her lips pouted. She wondered what was wrong.
The small child stood silent. Staring blankly. She had been pinched before. Twisted. Pushed. Her knees bled. Still, she didn't know why.
I just stay silent, why do they treat me like this? Am I at fault?
Mei-mei still remembered, too clearly to forget, their childhood in kindergarten. It was a memory that came like a small shadow, a supposedly funny thing, which always constricted her heart.
Time turned. Elementary school came and went. Nazma stood awkwardly, holding her assignment paper, staring at the large "A" printed on it. Instead of offering praise, Mei-mei sneered.
"Showing off, huh? Always getting an A," she said. She jutted out her chin.
Nazma just looked down. Her fingers crumpled the paper. She didn't retort. She didn't get angry. She just stared at the floor. Confusion. Shame.
And slowly, the opposite happened. Nazma began to shine. No loud declarations. She displaced the champion. Mei-mei watched from afar. Envy. Admiration.
Nevertheless, there was one more memory. A school sleepover. Late night. Nazma cried silently. Her shoulders shook. She wiped away tears. She missed her father.
Mei-mei saw her then, and for the first time felt her heart contract, not from envy, but from guilt, thinking of the child she used to bully, the child who defeated her in the gentlest way. In that moment, something changed.
Mei-mei sat in her dimly lit room. Staring. Hugging a pillow. It's strange. Nazma was the brightest. She should be at DB Academy. Instead, she chose AB College.
The image of Nazma crying surfaced again. Gentle. Confused. Quietly strong. Maybe she had reasons. Maybe that was why Mei-mei's chest felt tight. She feared she would no longer be a part of those reasons.
Nazma was on the bench. Staring out. The door opened. Mei-mei peeked in.
"Nazma... why are you here alone? Why are you crying?" Mei-mei asked softly, looking worried.
Nazma looked down. No answer. Her heart was too full of longing for Nasya. To her, Nasya was just a friend, at least, that was the only word she knew, yet the space Nasya occupied felt far wider than just friendship.
Simon walked past. He saw her. He approached. "Nazma... what happened? Why do you look like... you're not really here?"
She bit her lip. Silent. Only Nasya.
"In that case... maybe we should just go home, Nazz. You seem too tired to be here," Mei-mei said with a sigh.
Nazma tried to stand. Her body was weak. Mei-mei and April approached. They carried her. She smiled faintly. Her eyes were full of tears. Nasya.
Nazma suddenly returned from her memory.
How could I hurt people as good as them?