For a moment, Kabe didn't know what to say to that. Gray, Natsu, and Happy, on hearing the sentence, all wore the look of survivors who'd just dodged a disaster.
Gray: "It's just cleaning bathrooms, right? A week, a month, whatever, as long as I don't have to pose for those photos in a dress!"
Natsu: "Man, that scared me for nothing. Compared to Gramps and that bastard Kabe, the First Master's actually pretty reasonable."
Happy: "Hehehe, my fish. I get to eat fish again."
Turning to look at the three of them, all grinning with relief, Kabe and Makarov exchanged a glance, and Kabe cleared his throat lightly.
"Ahem. Well, since Lady Mavis has put it that way, I suppose there's nothing more to be said..."
The three of them lit up, thinking Kabe was about to defer to the First Master's ruling and back down. But who could have guessed, he immediately reversed course.
"...so in whatever spare time you've got between photo shoots, you can just handle the bathroom cleaning for the next month too."
"Wh, WHAT?!" all three of them shouted in perfect unison, then stared at Kabe, dumbstruck.
"Why? The First Master never said anything about the photo shoot."
"The First Master didn't, sure, but the Third Master did. The two Masters' punishments don't conflict with each other, so obviously you just do both of them together."
In an instant, their moods plunged from heaven straight down to hell, a wave of defeat radiating off all three of them.
Kabe paid the three clowns no more attention, pulled out the request form he'd confiscated from Happy, and walked over to hand it to Laki at the bar.
"Laki, log this. Quest complete. Every member of Eisenwald's been captured. The demon they were after, Lullaby, has been erased by me. If the Magic Council wants to go looking for it, they're welcome to comb the outskirts of Clover Town for whatever scraps are left."
The guild's bar girl, Laki, picked up the stolen request form, shot a glare at Gray and the other two, and recorded his words down word for word in the quest log. Since this had been a request issued by the Magic Council itself, the guild also needed to draft a separate, detailed report, which would be signed off by Guild Master Makarov before being submitted up the chain.
Once she finished writing, Laki turned and stepped behind the bar to retrieve a briefcase, setting it down and opening it on the counter.
"The Magic Council already got word ahead of time and sent the reward money over. It's eight million in total. Go ahead and count it."
Looking at the briefcase stuffed full of bills, Kabe gave it a cursory glance, not bothering to count it out properly, just pulled out two thick stacks, locked the case back up, and tossed it to Gray.
"I'm taking two million. Split the remaining six million between the three of you."
Gray clutched the briefcase to his chest, shock and awkward hesitation both plain on his face. Natsu opened his mouth, hesitating several times without quite managing to speak.
"What? I was part of this quest too. Can't I get a share?"
"No, that's not what I meant." Gray quickly denied it, clearly torn. "It's just, this was a quest we took without permission, and you're the one who actually dealt with Erigor and Lullaby. What right do we even have to take a cut?"
"Quit whining. It's the Magic Council's money. You'd be an idiot not to take it. Whether the quest was authorized or not is a completely separate matter from whether you get a share of the reward. Just take it. Even if you refuse, the punishment isn't going away either way."
With that, Kabe pulled a stack of bills at random from his own share of the reward and slapped it down hard on the table.
"Oi, everyone! Open your stomachs wide and drink up, all of you! Every drink you have today is on the Magic Council's tab!"
The members below, who had been sitting quietly this whole time, erupted into thunderous cheering the moment Kabe's cold hard cash hit the table.
"Long live Kabe! Long live the Magic Council!"
Kabe turned and raised his glass, laughing loudly. "Everybody, let's raise our glasses! To the Magic Council!"
"To the Magic Council!" the whole hall roared back.
Those two short lines were all it took to whip the entire crowd's excitement into a full blown frenzy. For a while, Laki became the busiest person in the entire guild, muttering complaints about Kabe under her breath the whole time while happily carrying trays loaded with drinks from table to table. Even Natsu, Happy, and Gray got swept up in the atmosphere, forgetting all about the women's clothing and photo shoot unpleasantness, and happily joined the celebration, loudly bragging to their friends about everything that had happened over the past few days.
Back at the bar, Mavis swung her short little legs again, tilting her head slightly as she spoke to Makarov, who stood off to the side.
"Kabe's a good kid. If it ever comes down to choosing the Fourth Master, I don't think there's anyone better suited for it than him."
At that, Makarov nodded, a look of pride crossing his face, before quickly bowing his head with a long sigh, watching Kabe, surrounded by the crowd and being plied with drink after drink in the hall below, his eyes carrying an exhaustion words couldn't quite capture.
"I'd like that too. But there's nothing I can do if the brat himself won't agree to it."