(also known as: "Why can't anything in my life be simple?")
Saturday had barely begun.
The sun was nice.The breeze was fresh.
And Harumi was already having a mild existential breakdown while staring out the back door.
Because the backyard.THE BACKYARD.
It was.
Huge.Wild.Untamed.MOST OF THE WEEDS WERE TALLER THAN HER.
— …Okay. — Harumi took a deep breath, gripping a hoe with both hands.— You can do this, Haru. It's just cutting a little grass… setting up some tables… and surviving.
Meanwhile, inside the house:
The kitchen was forbidden territory.
Her mother, Regina, had declared loudly and clearly:
"HARUMI, IF YOU STEP ON THIS FLOOR, I DISOWN YOU."
And the neighborhood grandmas — a small army of extremely powerful obaasans — surrounded Regina, helping with the food.
— Regina, do you need more onions?— Regina-chan, let me chop that! Tell us, how was your trip?!— Harumi-chan is… always like this?— "Like this" how? With no motor coordination? Or "like this" as in… feral? — her mother replied sweetly.
The grandmas laughed, delighted to see Regina in Mom Mode.
Meanwhile…
Harumi stared at a weed typhoon.
It was as if the backyard had grown overnight.As if nature itself had decided:
"Today, I defeat you, girl."
She raised the hoe like a sacred sword.
— For you all.She glanced inside the house.— For you who are cooking in there and banned me from existence… I will defeat the weeds.
And she stepped.
Into.The.Jungle.
First Enemy: Level 1 Weed
She cut a tiny clump.
— See? Easy! I'm basically a rural warrior!!!
The clump grew back.Instantly.
Harumi's eyes went wide.
— HEY!! That's not fair! FIGHT HONORABLY!
Second Enemy: Level 50 Weed — Backyard Boss
She looked to the side.
A massive bush, the size of a grumpy teenager, swayed in the wind.
— …Are you shaking because you're scared, or because you want to attack me? — Harumi asked, sweating.
The bush swayed ominously.
— I KNEW IT.
She attacked.
Well.She tried.
Because on the first pull—
PLOFT
She fell flat on the ground, grass and dignity flying everywhere.
— CAN I HAVE ONE NORMAL CHAPTER IN MY LIFE?! — she screamed at the sky, ripping weeds out fueled by pure humiliation.
The obaasans heard it.
— Regina-chan, is your daughter alive?— Unfortunately.
Third Enemy: The Spider Family
Harumi yanked a weed—and with it came…
A small spider nest.
MANY spiders.
— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The scream echoed through the entire town.
Takeru appeared at the back door, wearing an I can't believe this expression.
— …Harumi is fighting spiders.
Mei clutched Kuma-chan, worried.
— Is Harumi going to turn into a spider?
Izumi:— Possibly.
Regina, from the kitchen:— LET HER. IT BUILDS CHARACTER.
After 40 minutes of intense war…
Harumi was sweaty.Defeated.Covered in grass.With hair that looked like an actual nest.
But…
The backyard was CLEAN.
Relatively.Okay.About 50%.
BUT SHE MADE SPACE FOR THE TABLES.
Harumi raised her arms in victory.
— I WON!! HAHAHA! NATURE DOES NOT DOMINATE ME! I DOMINATE NATURE!!
At that exact moment, a lizard fell onto her shoulder.
— AAAAAAAAA!!
She ran in circles, screaming.
Izumi filmed it, obviously.Takeru rolled his eyes.Mei clapped happily.
Inside the kitchen, the obaasans commented:
— Harumi-chan is so… alive, right?— Alive and loud.— But hardworking.— …That I agree with.
Harumi set up the tables, arranged the chairs, decorated everything with flowers.
Then she stopped, staring at her work.
Messy.Scratched up.Exhausted, like she'd survived three seasons of an action anime.
But happy.
Mei ran over and hugged her leg.
— Harumi! The backyard is sooo pretty!
Harumi smiled, emotional.
— Oh, my love… I did all this because—
— Because your mom banned you from the kitchen. — Takeru finished dryly.
Harumi puffed her cheeks.
— THAT TOO!! BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS!! — she lunged at them, and the three fell into a big pile on the ground.
"She loves us…? For how long? How long can we stay before she gives up? How long will this last?"Takeru couldn't stop thinking it.
Izumi patted Harumi's back.
— Good job, Haru. The jungle lost today.
Harumi exhaled deeply.
— Yeah… today I won. But tomorrow it grows back.
— What tomorrow? — Izumi asked.
— …I don't know. I just wanted to sound dramatic.
And so the banquet began:With Harumi victorious,the obaasans cooking like goddesses,Regina commanding like a general,and the backyard smelling like victory…
And insect spray.