I was back in the past, inside that sprawling house in Buena Village, the place where I'd spent seven years of my life in this new world. As I strove for strength, I realized I hadn't ceased to be the "Hikari" who had scorched my past life. The fire wasn't responsible for my apathy, I was.
"Daiki, put down that sword."
That was what my mother always said when she saw me overtraining; when I ignored her warnings and disregarded her lessons on rest. Back then, my true north was strength alone, but now, that memory was the only thing keeping me anchored.
It happened once during my nightly training. My body finally gave out and I collapsed. When I opened my eyes, I saw my mother's face: sweaty and distraught, straining with all her might to lift a six-year-old boy who was already big for his age.
She didn't let go of me for thirty minutes. Lilia had already drawn the bath, but Mom wouldn't release me, not even when we managed to get inside and she sat me in that chair. As she washed and massaged my scalp, it crossed my mind that perhaps I had pushed too hard. Seeing the anguish on her face made me realize I had been a complete idiot; but back then, I was still the kind of idiot who didn't understand why seeing me like that hurt her so much.
"Son, can I ask you something?" she said as she poured water over my hair.
"Yes, Mother."
"Why do you push yourself so hard?"
"Mother?"
"What are you chasing? What goes through your mind when you drop from exhaustion?"
"I..." I didn't know how to answer. That was precisely the problem... I wasn't thinking. It was like a program running inside me, a part of myself that refused to die.
"When I watch you train, I see a lack of control you've never shown before. Even as a baby, you always had such self-command, but when you lose it like that, you're the exact opposite. And for a mother, seeing her son collapsed on the floor, shivering... it's the most heartbreaking thing there is."
"I just... I mean..." I cleared my throat. "I don't want to lose this family. That's all."
She finished rinsing my hair.
"How can you protect your family if you're lying on the ground, son?"
That single sentence, that solitary memory, dragged me back to Japan. To that precise moment in the park, shortly after my father told me I had to live, not just exist.
"Great job, son!" he shouted, trying to catch me.
I ran, dribbling the ball, dodging him and keeping it out of his reach.
"Impossible... you're too good, son..."
He let himself drop, sitting at the foot of a tree and wiping the sweat from his forehead. I stopped and looked at him, the ball trapped under my foot.
"Dad? Don't you want to keep going?"
"You have to know when to rest, son."
Just then my mother, Hiyori, appeared, carrying a basket full of food.
I abandoned the ball immediately and ran toward her, sitting by her side as she rocked me back and forth. My father watched us from the tree, smiling as he caught his breath.
"See, son? Rest has its rewards, too."
Dad...?
Static.
My memories turned into static.
Suddenly, I saw walls I had never seen before. Cold, dark stone. I felt myself being hauled roughly down a corridor toward something uncertain. I couldn't move. It wasn't me.
But the memory vanished; all that remained was a white room.
I looked down at my hands.
They weren't still. They flickered, shifting at dizzying speed between three distinct forms:
I saw Hikari's adult hands. I saw Daiki's hands, calloused by the sword. And I saw others... ones I didn't recognize. They were translucent, so faint I felt that a mere breath would scatter them like dust.
"What... what am I?"
....
"You're my brother. That's all that matters."
It was Ayam speaking from behind me, pulling me into a hug I hadn't expected. Suddenly, the three presences vanished, and only Hikari's remained, the one that still lingered in this "inner world."
I turned slowly to look at her.
She had changed.
Her eyes were now blue. Her hair was the same, though styled differently, but there were nuances in her face she didn't have the first time we met.
"Looks like I inherited Mom's eyes," she teased, tilting her head with a gentle smile. "Now I can truly be considered your blood sister, can't I?"
"Ayam..."
A lump formed in my throat.
"You've rested enough. You need to wake up... and find our mother."
At those words, I shot up in bed, clutching my chest with one hand and wiping my sweat-drenched forehead with the other.
I was a complete idiot, I thought. I can't believe I've been lying here for a whole week...
...
I stood up, though my legs felt heavy.
I walked over to the chair where my tunic and trousers—both deep black—lay waiting. Then, I adjusted the crossed leather harness over my torso and fastened my belt.
Finally, I donned the cape Eris had given me.
Ready now, with a simple sword at my waist and the pouch containing the remains of Temphestalis secured, I placed my hand on the doorknob.
"Phew..." I let out a long breath.
And I stepped out into the light.